Looking for Friends

[krouge17]

Looking back on pictures of my friends from high school remembering old friendsships that died, and friedhsips that will last forever. I'm just now realizing how much I actually miss everyone. Here at school I'm making new friends and they're awsome don't get me wrong, but I feel like I'm not making any friends that I can turn to and talk to about everything. Well, except Lindsey, but we hardly ever see each other. Looking at those pictures of everyone on facebook and seeing how many friends they have made and how many of those people I don't really talk to much anymore. It's getting me all depressed. I still stay in contact with people like Mike, Shawn, Phil, Mary, Danny and Patti, but I feel like they all have lives at school and thats something I'm missing here. I'm not much of a person to party or drink so theres really nothing for me to do here on the weekends. So what do i do? I go home, so i can actually get some sleep, see my friends and actually have fun. Don't get me wrong I really do like it here and I do have friends that I hang out with, but no one that I can really just call up and be like I'm really bored right now come hang out with me it's late at night let's order some pizza and watch horrible movies and make fun of them. I can't even call Lindsey and say that cuz she also goes home on the weekends. She feels the same way as I do. SO i think that might be my problem. I love going home tho it gets me away from school and I can actually get some sleep cuz my roommate wakes me up every fucking morning before I actually have to wake up. Thank God she's moving out on Sunday. YAY! But anywho, I don't know I just feel like I'm missing something here. I work almost every week night so I can actually have some spending money or i'll have a floor hockey game/softball game that night and have to work right after it. I go to parties sometimes and that only with the guys from my sports team and they all drink and it's really no fun being the only one not drinking at a party. At least it is for me. I just have no interest in it and to be quite honest I think it tastes nasty. Except for some drinks. But I'm either, working, playing sports, at class, eating or in my dorm room doing homework. Is that odd that I don't really go out and I'm in college with absolutely no boundries as to how late I'm out or even as to what I'm doing exactly? I just feel like I don't have a best friend really. i mean i know I have people to talk to at home, but it would be kinda nice to have some really good friends here to confide in also. I hate that I'm so shy! God! Tell me what I can do guys? I just want one person if anyone to talk to here. I luv u guys and it's not that I'm trying to get rid of you, but me being here I'd like someone to call and be able to be like lets go hang out and they'd do it and we'd have fun. Help me!

Mike, this sin't about u wanting me to come home every weekend. It's not about you at all and don't feel like it's your fault because it's not. If it's anyones fault It's my own. I'm shy and I'm not out going enough and that has nothing to do with me wnating to see you. I go home because I want to, not because i feel like I have to. You don't make me go home, totally free will of my own. I Love you so much...Please don't think this is about you!

I'm off to bed now please leave comments....luv u guys! L8az