Fokkers of the week
Dear Nameless Perpetrator,
Thanks for busting into my car on Friday night. I like the way you scattered the glass all over the back seat. It left a certain avant-garde artistry behind that I never realized was lacking.
Also, thanks for taking the 3 bags in the car as well, not to mention all the stuff that was in those bags. My work could definitely use a new laptop, and God knows that I could certainly use new clothes and a new shaver, among other things. Oh, and Kelly was thinking about replacing all of her make-up anyway. Not to mention all of the little stuff that was in the bags as well. You really did us a favor.
Next, thank you for stealing the bulk of my wallet -- though you should have stayed around so you could get all of my cash and ID as well. I'm sure you know better than anyone else that it's better to get the entire package rather than just the credit cards that can be cancelled.
Finally, speaking of the credit cards, might I offer you a suggestion? Next time you steal someone's wallet, go to higher-end stores. This whole using them at Citgos and 7-11's really doesn't work to build your rep as a real criminal. In fact, it's rather insulting.
Thanks again,
Me
Thanks for busting into my car on Friday night. I like the way you scattered the glass all over the back seat. It left a certain avant-garde artistry behind that I never realized was lacking.
Also, thanks for taking the 3 bags in the car as well, not to mention all the stuff that was in those bags. My work could definitely use a new laptop, and God knows that I could certainly use new clothes and a new shaver, among other things. Oh, and Kelly was thinking about replacing all of her make-up anyway. Not to mention all of the little stuff that was in the bags as well. You really did us a favor.
Next, thank you for stealing the bulk of my wallet -- though you should have stayed around so you could get all of my cash and ID as well. I'm sure you know better than anyone else that it's better to get the entire package rather than just the credit cards that can be cancelled.
Finally, speaking of the credit cards, might I offer you a suggestion? Next time you steal someone's wallet, go to higher-end stores. This whole using them at Citgos and 7-11's really doesn't work to build your rep as a real criminal. In fact, it's rather insulting.
Thanks again,
Me