Fic: Chance:Welcome Gifts; Kirk/Spock/Khan
Disclaimer: I am not a Trekkie! The only knowledge I have of Star Trek comes from the two latest films. If you find mistakes in my Trek lore, please point them out but be gentle with me, I’m admitting I’m a poser upfront!
Disclaimer 2: Everything you are about to read is comforting lies told to protect you. Protect you from what you ask? A world in which Kirk, Spock and Khan don’t spend their time fucking on the bridge when everyone else is sleeping. You’re Welcome. (Did you see what I did there? I think myself far more clever than I actually am.)
Trigger Warnings: Descriptions ofPast Off Screen/Implied Torture/Abuse/Rape.
Minor Self-Blame of an abuse victim
Title: Chance: Welcome Gifts
Fandom: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Pairings: Marcus/Khan (past), Kirk/Spock (eventual), Kirk/Spock/Khan (eventual)
Rating: PG-13 (See Trigger Warnings)
Summary: Kirk takes Khan home and learns that the after effects of abuse run far deeper than he anticipated.
It took nearly two hours to get Khan fitted with the tracking device. The device had to be calibrated to the exact dimensions of Kirk’s apartment so that Khan could go anywhere within the apartment but wouldn’t be able to step out the door. The fact that Kirk’s apartment wasn’t perfectly square made that task slightly more difficult and it seemed he was the only one willing to take the easy way out and just set the device to a max square footage limit and call it a day. How much trouble could Khan really get in if he could take five steps out the door if Kirk happened to be standing in the far back corner of his apartment? Apparently the Admirals thought it was quite a lot which seemed to amuse Khan. He was probably proud they were giving him, hopefully, more credit than he deserved. Hopefully.
After the device was set it then needed to be tested and retested to make sure it would go off at all the specified dimensions both in Kirk’s sight line and through walls. Throughout the whole two hours it was Kirk who was getting bored, impatient and whiney while Khan barely said two words the entire time and those were only when asked direct questions by the doctors and technicians fitting the device. The only emotion he showed the entire time was a brief flash of surprise when they adjusted the device after he confirmed that it was just a tad too tight. He obviously didn’t expect his comfort or well being to be taken into consideration anymore this time than it had last and Kirk knew it wasn’t going to be easy to break Khan of those thought patterns.
Finally they were free to leave the holding facility and head to Kirk’s apartment, noticeably without any security guards to escort them.
Khan looked around as they made their way through the Starfleet complex to the apartment building Kirk lived in trying to see where they’d hidden the snipers and guards that had to be waiting for him to make a move. He couldn’t seem to find any and eventually he gave up searching in favor of looking at the destruction he’d caused the city when he crash landed here nearly 5 months ago. They’d made obvious headway on the reconstruction efforts, but there was still a long way to go.
Kirk noticed him frowning at their surroundings. “Something wrong?”
Khan brought his attention back to the front, slightly embarrassed he’d been caught staring and tried to cover it with feigned nonchalance. “There are no security guards watching us.”
“Should there be?”
Khan turned to look at Kirk in surprise. He’d been trying to manipulate Kirk when he’d told him he believed he had a conscience back on the enterprise but these last few hours had shown him that maybe he hadn’t been wrong about the captain. He wasn’t sure if he respected Kirk’s determination and bravery or if he thought him foolish for trusting Khan so easily without any good reason to. “No, I agreed to behave and I intend to follow through on that. I’m simply surprised you believed me so willingly.”
Kirk smiled. “I’m glad to hear that. If I’d believed you couldn’t do this, I wouldn’t have offered you the chance in the first place. Besides, I’m of the belief that people will work harder to keep someone’s trust than they will to earn it. You want me to trust you because it means you’ll have more freedom and privileges than if I didn’t, and I want to trust you because it means I was right about you and I kind of like being right.” He smirked. “So this is win win for both of us right?”
Khan stared at Kirk dumbfounded for a moment before nodding in agreement. He really had underestimated the captain in so many ways. “Right.”
Kirk slapped Khan playfully on the back. “Good. Now let’s get up to my apartment. I don’t know about you but I missed lunch and I’m starving.”
******
Once inside Kirk’s apartment Khan was greeted with the smell of pizza and the sight of the Vulcan who’d tricked him into thinking his family was dead and then subdued him after his rampage of the city.
Kirk looked at the pizza with a mix of disbelief and desperation. “You ordered pizza?” Spock wasn’t one who often encouraged Kirk to indulge in his unhealthy vices.
“I assumed you both missed lunch this afternoon. I also thought a welcoming gift would be appropriate and a pizza seemed like something Khan would be familiar with and perhaps enjoy.”
Kirk stepped forward without a word and grabbed Spock around the neck, pulling him into a kiss. Khan couldn’t say he was surprised. The rage he’d witnessed in Spock when they fought had been passion fueled. It made complete sense later when he’d found out that they needed his blood to bring the captain back from the dead. He’d have been more surprised to find that they hadn’t been in a relationship then or at least developed one since. As they kissed he looked around and noted the apartment’s immaculate state. Even the fan had been dusted. Obviously the Vulcan wasn’t just over for a visit.
After a moment Spock leaned back, breaking the kiss. “Jim, I do not think our coupling is appropriate in front of Khan considering his previous experiences with the former Admiral Marcus.”
Kirk groaned and face palmed, of course Spock wouldn’t think it necessary to be subtle about that particular situation. Khan on the other hand, showed no outward signs of being upset by the comment. “I assure you that I harbor no abhorrence to sexual activity despite my previous experiences with the former Admiral.”
Kirk saw the makings of a long and extremely awkward conversation and decided it was best to change to subject quickly. He clapped his hands, then rubbed them together before announcing, “I’m starved, we should eat.” He pointed to the dining table. “Khan you go have a seat, we’ll get the plates.”
Khan nodded and did as instructed. While he waited at the table he took the opportunity to look around the main part of the apartment. It was an open concept plan with a living room area on one side with some couches and chairs all facing a large TV and entertainment center. The dining table was in the middle of the space to separate the living room from the kitchenette. A hallway then led to what Khan assumed was the bedrooms and bathroom. The apartment wasn’t very big, but Starfleet officers didn’t need much as they didn’t spend a large amount of time at home anyway.
Kirk and Spock brought three plates of pizza and bottles of water to the table and sat down to enjoy their late lunch. Kirk started stuffing his face almost immediately, while Spock ate at a much more leisurely pace. Khan simply eyed his own plate with concern. Kirk was halfway through his second piece when he noticed Khan wasn’t eating. “What’s wrong, you don’t like pizza?” His mouth full and face covered in sauce.
“What’s in it?”
It was Spock who answered. “It is a plain cheese pizza. I was unsure as to what toppings you would prefer and did not want to risk getting something you would not enjoy.”
“No. I mean in my slices specifically, what did you put in them? I’ll still eat them of course but I’d like to know what to expect later. If that’s alright?”
Kirk and Spock both shared confused looks before Kirk remembered some of the details about Marcus’ treatment of Khan. Sometimes the former Admiral would drug Khan’s food to keep him docile when it suited him and other times he’d poison the food to make Khan sick in punishment.
Kirk had sent Khan to the table while he’d gotten the food ready and Khan must have assumed he’d done so in order to drug or poison the food while he wasn’t looking.
Kirk swallowed his mouthful. “I didn’t do anything to it. Here, switch me a piece of yours.” Kirk pushed his plate towards Khan so the augment could switch out a piece and know that he was telling the truth.
Khan looked at the offered plate for a moment before he shook his head and picked up his own slice to begin eating. “That’s alright Captain, I believe you.”
“It’s ‘Jim’ at home.” Kirk corrected.
“My apologies, Jim.” Khan almost sounded uncomfortable using his first name but he began eating his pizza so Kirk figured it was for the best to just let it go for now and enjoy their meal now that all of them were actually eating it.
They ate in silence for a moment before Spock turned to Khan. “May I ask you a question?”
Khan nodded and Kirk cringed. Spock had found the details of Khan’s mistreatment just as unacceptable as he did, but whereas Kirk felt it was better to just avoid talking about it as much as was possible, Spock didn’t seem to agree.
“If you believed the food to be drugged, why would you alert us to the fact that you knew? Would it not have been more logical to feign ignorance and simply claim to not be hungry?”
Kirk braced for the impending explosion from Khan. He knew from personal experience what happened when someone used anger to hide deep emotional pain and he wouldn’t be surprised to find that Khan used that particular coping mechanism when confronted with discussions of his past abuse.
He was completely surprised however when Khan answered calmly without a hint of anger. “I assumed my food was drugged because Marcus repeatedly drugged my food for various reasons. If I refused to eat it, he’d find other means to drug me and I’d go without food for a time as punishment. Some of the drugs made me violently ill and I found it was less painful to vomit when I had something in my stomach to throw up. Eating the drugged food willingly was the lesser of two evils.”
After he finished explaining he went back to eating his pizza as if it wasn’t a big deal. Kirk on the other hand decided he’d lost his appetite. Considering he’d already devoured 4 or 5 pieces it wasn’t exactly that big of a loss anyway.
“I am sorry you went through that but I can assure you that Jim will never do anything of that nature to you.”
“I appreciate that, thank you.” Khan nodded to Spock then turned to asses Kirk for a moment. “I’m sorry if I offended you with my incorrect assumptions. You’ve been very hospitable and do not deserve the associations I keep drawing between you and the former Admiral.”
Kirk almost wanted to scream at him. How could anyone be conditioned to expect a certain kind of treatment and then apologize for being unable to dissociate themselves from that conditioning? Kirk realized this was going to be far harder than he’d expected. He’d need to talk to a professional and get tips on how to properly deal with an abuse victim’s recovery. For now he’d simply stick with his avoid and distract method.
“No need to apologize, it obviously isn’t your fault. This is a new situation for all of us, we’re bound to make a few mistakes as we figure it out. Anyway, I think we’re all done with lunch. Let’s clean this up and I will give you the grand tour.”
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