the pandemic fallout
I have been put in a tight and uncomfortable situation with respect to current pandemic happenings.
In April, I got the first dose of the Moderna COVID vaccine. Within one or two hours, I was covered in severe painful bruises. By that night, I thought I could die, if the bleeding continued to worsen, or if I began to bleed somewhere like my brain or lungs. That night Matt got prepared to get me to the ER if things took a turn for the worst.
Since then, things have still not been great. I have had repeated episodes after that, but none quite as severe. And there is no scientific proof about what this really was or why. My legs have not recovered since they were hit the hardest with the bruising. I have been a long distance runner all my life, and now I cannot properly run. I'm doing strength rehab and other symptom based treatment with some, but limited, success.
Hence, I am not eligble for the second dose. I literally would not be able to pass the screening questions. It is a rare thing, but it happened to me.
It doesn't happen to most people, so most people don't care. Most people are selfish and think about only their own health. So no one in government is standing up for people like me right now.
And the fallout: I organized a National Academy of Engineering Frontiers of Engineering Session on Cybersecurity of Critical Infrastructure. This has been going on over the course of several months to a year (I don't remember exactly). It was always going to be in person. We are supposed to attend the entire time. So that was my plan. Then, yesterday they told us that we must show proof that we are fully vaccinated when we check in and wear a wristband indicating the same the entire time. I replied to the email and expained my situation, and asking if there is anything else I need to bring along with my vaccination card, given that it will only have the one stamp on it. Then today they responded and told me that I must attend virtually.
Professionally, I responded well. I didn't immediately react. I thought about it, and I said the appropriate things. But like eating a spicy chili or gumbo, the more time you have to taste it, the harder it starts to hit you-- a slow burn.
Personally, I am distraught; I am heartbroken.
So much so that I had to resort to a rare Live Journal post. So much so that I came to the undergrad coffee place to try to escape my stress and anxiety about this situation, and those that are to come. If those in charge do not stand up for us, we (the manority who have conditions such as this) will fall.
We will have to choose. Our professional careers, that people like me have spent our lives sacrificing for and devoting ourselves to. Or we could choose the life of our physical body; I have two young children, mere mention of this situation is enough to cause them severe anxiety. Obviously I would choose them. There is some risk and some value that is hard to quantify. Which would you choose? Hopefully hypothetical. (1) A *definite* loss of a job over (2) A *potential* that you would die (or suffer very serious health consequences)? Personally, I can't take the risk of the potential in (2), and (1) would not kill us although it would be terrible and I would regret having to do it for the whole rest of my life.
Please pray for us.
Or write letters to your people.