(no subject)
im really stupid sometimes. like beyond stupid. i cant ever just let things be or "let go and let god" as they say or let things happen the way they are supposed to happen. instead my mind just races and races and races and simple things that normal people understand and get my mind just keeps going and cant wrap itself around them because it just keeps going. and it makes me so tense and i cant stop dwelling on things and thinking about and analyzing things. instead of just accepting and letting and being and trusting i go crazy, i ask a million obnoxious questions, i drive other people crazy, and GAH!!!! and im doing it right now. i hope it doesnt ruin this chance i might have at one of having a relationship with probably the most amazing guy ive ever met. im just so terrified that im going to blow it. and me being so terrified and analytical and crazy means that the chances of me blowing it (aka driving him crazy or away) sky rocket. WHY, GOD, WHY CAN'T I JUST LET THINGS HAPPEN AND BE NORMAL!?!?!?!? id really like to be able to do that right about now.