So I've been reflecting...
So I've been reflecting on this past semester, past year, the 4 years at oxy, and well, life in general.
And all I can say to sum my thoughts up is "wtf."
I don't think anyone reads this anymore - i let a few friends know about it toward the end of the semester, not sure if that was a mistake or not... probably - either way, I doubt they'll be visiting for some reason. Although, if anyone is still checking this page out, let me know, itd be nice to hear some feedback. Until I hear such feedback though, I'll be treating this pretty much as an actual journal, something to express myself through written words in hopes that I can make sense of "it" all. Of course, names and such will all still be changed in case anyone does stumble across it.
Why am I doing this? Especially since I know that some people may still check this from time to time - I guess its cuz at this point in time, I don't care. On th eone hand, this journal will serve as a means to help me be honest with myself. On the other hand, this is my cheap way of telling the world how I really feel, without actually doing so. Contradictory, I know.
In the coming days I'm going to be writing about my last week at Oxy... and without a doubt, the intended paragraphs will escalate into days' work that will extend into experiences throughout the entire semester and, yes, the entire school year - I'll try and limit myself to that, I swear. Simply put - Senior Week was characterized by exhilarating highs, devastating lows, and a compliant sense of complacency.
But I'm jumping ahead of myself - let me tell you what's on my mind right now.
I feel unappreciated. Not by everyone, but by many...by most. It's partly my fault, due to the way that I carry myself I never really put myself out there as to receive the credit that I deserve - due largely to the fact that a lot of what I "do" is a result of what I actively do nOt do. So, in a tongue-twisted fashion, I inactively do by actively not doing. Ridiculous, I know.
Blah, I've gone and confused myself and completely lost where I was going with this. Maybe it would just be easier to explain my experiences first, and thEn provide my analysis. Come to think of it, yes, that would be a better idea. So, I give up for tonight, I'll leave you (I haven't decided if "you" is the journal, or "you" the possible reader) confused for now and hopefully I'll start my senior week account soon enough.
It's late, I have to wake up early, so that's all for now.
And all I can say to sum my thoughts up is "wtf."
I don't think anyone reads this anymore - i let a few friends know about it toward the end of the semester, not sure if that was a mistake or not... probably - either way, I doubt they'll be visiting for some reason. Although, if anyone is still checking this page out, let me know, itd be nice to hear some feedback. Until I hear such feedback though, I'll be treating this pretty much as an actual journal, something to express myself through written words in hopes that I can make sense of "it" all. Of course, names and such will all still be changed in case anyone does stumble across it.
Why am I doing this? Especially since I know that some people may still check this from time to time - I guess its cuz at this point in time, I don't care. On th eone hand, this journal will serve as a means to help me be honest with myself. On the other hand, this is my cheap way of telling the world how I really feel, without actually doing so. Contradictory, I know.
In the coming days I'm going to be writing about my last week at Oxy... and without a doubt, the intended paragraphs will escalate into days' work that will extend into experiences throughout the entire semester and, yes, the entire school year - I'll try and limit myself to that, I swear. Simply put - Senior Week was characterized by exhilarating highs, devastating lows, and a compliant sense of complacency.
But I'm jumping ahead of myself - let me tell you what's on my mind right now.
I feel unappreciated. Not by everyone, but by many...by most. It's partly my fault, due to the way that I carry myself I never really put myself out there as to receive the credit that I deserve - due largely to the fact that a lot of what I "do" is a result of what I actively do nOt do. So, in a tongue-twisted fashion, I inactively do by actively not doing. Ridiculous, I know.
Blah, I've gone and confused myself and completely lost where I was going with this. Maybe it would just be easier to explain my experiences first, and thEn provide my analysis. Come to think of it, yes, that would be a better idea. So, I give up for tonight, I'll leave you (I haven't decided if "you" is the journal, or "you" the possible reader) confused for now and hopefully I'll start my senior week account soon enough.
It's late, I have to wake up early, so that's all for now.