Saturday
Was a good time. But one thing happened that really just hit me in the gut. Met a guy randomly, seemed nice, my age, we had things in common we were chatting, and then he asked if I knew who some people were. Two of them happen to be women that the social norms call "hot". I said no. Later, one of them walked by and he asked "are you *sure* you don't know her?" - in the tone of voice that clearly implied 'because she is hot and I wanna meet her.'
I'm sitting right there, he only just met me - and he's gonna act like I'm some random guy he's met.
I got up and left pretty quickly because, yeah I don't need that kind of crap.
But it's really sticking in my head. Now my tapes are telling me "see? It doesn't matter how hard you work, no one ever sees you as someone they might be interested in. Why even try?"
In this case I have a good answer which is keeping me on the trying to be healthy path - and that is "me. I want to be the person who can hike all day, and ride a horse with ease, and walks to the Farmer's Market and her friend's houses. I can only do that if I keep trying"
But way back in there, every time something likes this happens, the part of me that would be willing to try and meet someone again? Dies a little more.
I'm sitting right there, he only just met me - and he's gonna act like I'm some random guy he's met.
I got up and left pretty quickly because, yeah I don't need that kind of crap.
But it's really sticking in my head. Now my tapes are telling me "see? It doesn't matter how hard you work, no one ever sees you as someone they might be interested in. Why even try?"
In this case I have a good answer which is keeping me on the trying to be healthy path - and that is "me. I want to be the person who can hike all day, and ride a horse with ease, and walks to the Farmer's Market and her friend's houses. I can only do that if I keep trying"
But way back in there, every time something likes this happens, the part of me that would be willing to try and meet someone again? Dies a little more.