Missing Out
Every time someone compliments Eternity: Spellbound, it's like someone jabbing a needle in my heart.
It hurts because I wasn't able to be in a tournament that so many others enjoyed.
It hurts because it was my last chance to be in one of tenshi_kain's tournaments, and I didn't know that when I signed on to do the system. I know he doesn't think his tournaments are anything special, but he's wrong. I see how people react to his tournaments as opposed to the tournaments of others, and I know that I've missed out.
It hurts because I could have been in Spellbound, I could have played Terra or Rita or Lucca, if only someone had listened to my advice, if only someone hadn't ignored me.
It hurts because I know that all the compliments Spellbound is receiving is for the writing, for the overstory and the characters and everything that happened in the story thread. Nobody cares about the battle system, the gameplay. Nobody cares about the banners that actual effort was put into. Nobody cares about the omake, because funnier things happened in the tournament. My contributions to the whole are the things nobody cares about.
I can't read Spellbound. I've said it was because I "can't get into it," but it's because every word is another needle, inscribed with the words "you could have had this."
I don't know whether I can stay in #ri or not. How long would I have to leave before people stopped complimenting Spellbound, stopped inadvertently hurting me? People still praise SXVI to this day, so would I need to stay away forever?
Would anyone care if I did?
It hurts because I wasn't able to be in a tournament that so many others enjoyed.
It hurts because it was my last chance to be in one of tenshi_kain's tournaments, and I didn't know that when I signed on to do the system. I know he doesn't think his tournaments are anything special, but he's wrong. I see how people react to his tournaments as opposed to the tournaments of others, and I know that I've missed out.
It hurts because I could have been in Spellbound, I could have played Terra or Rita or Lucca, if only someone had listened to my advice, if only someone hadn't ignored me.
It hurts because I know that all the compliments Spellbound is receiving is for the writing, for the overstory and the characters and everything that happened in the story thread. Nobody cares about the battle system, the gameplay. Nobody cares about the banners that actual effort was put into. Nobody cares about the omake, because funnier things happened in the tournament. My contributions to the whole are the things nobody cares about.
I can't read Spellbound. I've said it was because I "can't get into it," but it's because every word is another needle, inscribed with the words "you could have had this."
I don't know whether I can stay in #ri or not. How long would I have to leave before people stopped complimenting Spellbound, stopped inadvertently hurting me? People still praise SXVI to this day, so would I need to stay away forever?
Would anyone care if I did?