just a moment
Tonight I had a moment of awareness, or, a moment of complete consciousness.
It was during the marching band performance. My mind had been on auto pilot. I was thinking about nothing, but concentrating on my music and movements at the same time. It's strange to think about nothing and something simultaneously. Well, during our last song, it just hit me that I couldn't remember the performance I had just given. I couldn't remember five minutes ago. I was so "in the moment" that nothing else mattered. I knew what was coming up, but I felt it more than pondered it cerebrally. Its like I was doing it for the first time, but knew exactly what to do. This observation gave me a sort of rush of emotion, of sudden excitement to be exactly where I was at that very moment and completely aware of it. I was able to step outside of my mind and recognize this state for what it was.
The recognition caused my mind to suddenly click off this centered auto pilot, and I returned to consciousness, but not merely, "I'm standing here, he's there, I play this, I take five steps, etc." It was a state of complete and utter consciousness. For a few seconds, I felt like I had an acute sense of every single other person in the world. I could recognize the workings of my own mind. I felt my entire body, I felt my mind. I could feel the world.
And then I returned to thinking about the music, and the show ended.
It was during the marching band performance. My mind had been on auto pilot. I was thinking about nothing, but concentrating on my music and movements at the same time. It's strange to think about nothing and something simultaneously. Well, during our last song, it just hit me that I couldn't remember the performance I had just given. I couldn't remember five minutes ago. I was so "in the moment" that nothing else mattered. I knew what was coming up, but I felt it more than pondered it cerebrally. Its like I was doing it for the first time, but knew exactly what to do. This observation gave me a sort of rush of emotion, of sudden excitement to be exactly where I was at that very moment and completely aware of it. I was able to step outside of my mind and recognize this state for what it was.
The recognition caused my mind to suddenly click off this centered auto pilot, and I returned to consciousness, but not merely, "I'm standing here, he's there, I play this, I take five steps, etc." It was a state of complete and utter consciousness. For a few seconds, I felt like I had an acute sense of every single other person in the world. I could recognize the workings of my own mind. I felt my entire body, I felt my mind. I could feel the world.
And then I returned to thinking about the music, and the show ended.