(no subject)
Well, this was a good weekend as expected. Everything went well, but it was still odd seeing one of my good friends getting married. O's lost today, which sucks, but ah well. Looking forward to the game on Thursday. It's supposed to rain tomorrow. I kinda don't want it to. I need overtime, and rain days fuck with time and a half pay for overtime.
Speaking of work, as of tomorrow Dan's getting fired. It sucks, but what can ya do? I enjoyed working with the guy, and I thought he was a decent person. But he was doing things he shouldn't have been, and it fucked the company over. Plus everyone suspects that he stole a jacket with an ounce of weed in it, from the other Chris. You never really know people.
But what I do know is that after a day of drinking, my head's starting to hurt. Took some aspirin a few minutes ago. Hopefully it starts to kick in. I kinda didn't wanna leave the tavern 'cause some friends were still left hangin' out. But I was getting kinda bored, and Sean was weirding me out. It was good to see Kevin again, though. The usual suspects showed, including those who were at Mel's wedding last night. Of all people to show up later in the day, Aaron came in. He shoots pool there, and had no idea that Fred was having a birthday party. It was kinda funny. But the more I run into people, the more I realize how small this place is.
I dunno what it is with me lately, but I keep thinking about where I wanna go from here. I still have a few years left to build up money and things of that nature. But I just feel convinced in my own mind that I'll be in another state sometime in the near future. Or at least I'm hoping to. A more ideal situation would be getting on a tour. Then I wouldn't have to settle anywhere just yet. It still burns me up to hear these absolutely shitty bands being out-played on the radio. Anyone with any real knowledge or talent in music gets snubbed. Everybody wants the lame shit that sells. The emo/pop/fake/whatever punk rock. If you can even call it any of that. I just call it shit. I gave it a try years ago, but after that it was like, ugh. But lately I'm wondering if anything was meant for me. If any breaks will come my way, or if I'll even be able to create my own destiny like I'm trying to. Maybe the music thing is all just a pipe dream. I dunno what to think or feel about it. I don't wanna give up. But after being out of this band, it's damn near impossible to find any other musicians on the same page. It's just this area, I know. I'm just scared to death of being stuck here and never being able to get out and find better musicians to jam with. Then if/when that happens, who's to say that the front man won't turn into an ass like Derek did? Still, I gotta give it a try. I love my friends and all, but I dunno if any understand. Other than Fred, of course. I talk about wanting to move to a bigger city up north, and they kinda chuckle, some roll their eyes a bit. They play it off jokingly, but I guess I see why they do it. I've been talking about it for years now, but have done nothing. That will all soon change. Plus I suppose it's hard for them to understand since they're all having kids and getting married. For me, I feel like life is just beginning. Why get married and fuck that all up now? Not that it matters. I'm too short and fugly to get a girlfriend anyway. Still.. My desire to move just seems to keep growing. I guess it comes down to wanting a fresh start. Yet, two out of state friends are Marylanders. Well, one is, one is about to become one. Am I just being foolish and leaving a good thing behind? What works for some doesn't work for others, so that's something I should keep in mind. I just don't know. I don't know where I belong yet.
Speaking of work, as of tomorrow Dan's getting fired. It sucks, but what can ya do? I enjoyed working with the guy, and I thought he was a decent person. But he was doing things he shouldn't have been, and it fucked the company over. Plus everyone suspects that he stole a jacket with an ounce of weed in it, from the other Chris. You never really know people.
But what I do know is that after a day of drinking, my head's starting to hurt. Took some aspirin a few minutes ago. Hopefully it starts to kick in. I kinda didn't wanna leave the tavern 'cause some friends were still left hangin' out. But I was getting kinda bored, and Sean was weirding me out. It was good to see Kevin again, though. The usual suspects showed, including those who were at Mel's wedding last night. Of all people to show up later in the day, Aaron came in. He shoots pool there, and had no idea that Fred was having a birthday party. It was kinda funny. But the more I run into people, the more I realize how small this place is.
I dunno what it is with me lately, but I keep thinking about where I wanna go from here. I still have a few years left to build up money and things of that nature. But I just feel convinced in my own mind that I'll be in another state sometime in the near future. Or at least I'm hoping to. A more ideal situation would be getting on a tour. Then I wouldn't have to settle anywhere just yet. It still burns me up to hear these absolutely shitty bands being out-played on the radio. Anyone with any real knowledge or talent in music gets snubbed. Everybody wants the lame shit that sells. The emo/pop/fake/whatever punk rock. If you can even call it any of that. I just call it shit. I gave it a try years ago, but after that it was like, ugh. But lately I'm wondering if anything was meant for me. If any breaks will come my way, or if I'll even be able to create my own destiny like I'm trying to. Maybe the music thing is all just a pipe dream. I dunno what to think or feel about it. I don't wanna give up. But after being out of this band, it's damn near impossible to find any other musicians on the same page. It's just this area, I know. I'm just scared to death of being stuck here and never being able to get out and find better musicians to jam with. Then if/when that happens, who's to say that the front man won't turn into an ass like Derek did? Still, I gotta give it a try. I love my friends and all, but I dunno if any understand. Other than Fred, of course. I talk about wanting to move to a bigger city up north, and they kinda chuckle, some roll their eyes a bit. They play it off jokingly, but I guess I see why they do it. I've been talking about it for years now, but have done nothing. That will all soon change. Plus I suppose it's hard for them to understand since they're all having kids and getting married. For me, I feel like life is just beginning. Why get married and fuck that all up now? Not that it matters. I'm too short and fugly to get a girlfriend anyway. Still.. My desire to move just seems to keep growing. I guess it comes down to wanting a fresh start. Yet, two out of state friends are Marylanders. Well, one is, one is about to become one. Am I just being foolish and leaving a good thing behind? What works for some doesn't work for others, so that's something I should keep in mind. I just don't know. I don't know where I belong yet.