(no subject)
People keep asking how school is going.
I tell them it's not.
They ask what happened. They look disappointed.
I say Life happened.
erik leaving this world, cold weather, stressful job, not knowing who I'm working for a month from now, third of the staff up and quitting, cameron, house i can't keep organized, meetings every night of the week, friends needing a lot from me, a mother always needing help of some kind, a grandmother in a nursing home who needs visited, grief counseling beating me up, car accident, bills i wasn't expecting, signing up for even more things to keep up with, homework I couldn't understand, teaching assistants that can't speak english.
That's what happened.
They don't get it. I couldn't do it. I don't know whether I'll ever be able to balance it all.
Cameron will graduate college before I will. And by then, it really won't matter. He'll grow up with a mom who can't get it done. She didn't finish. She thinks it's too hard. She gave up.
I tell them it's not.
They ask what happened. They look disappointed.
I say Life happened.
erik leaving this world, cold weather, stressful job, not knowing who I'm working for a month from now, third of the staff up and quitting, cameron, house i can't keep organized, meetings every night of the week, friends needing a lot from me, a mother always needing help of some kind, a grandmother in a nursing home who needs visited, grief counseling beating me up, car accident, bills i wasn't expecting, signing up for even more things to keep up with, homework I couldn't understand, teaching assistants that can't speak english.
That's what happened.
They don't get it. I couldn't do it. I don't know whether I'll ever be able to balance it all.
Cameron will graduate college before I will. And by then, it really won't matter. He'll grow up with a mom who can't get it done. She didn't finish. She thinks it's too hard. She gave up.