Better days to come
I don't know why I do this to myself. I think of things that I cannot change. Maybe I'm just so used to being in control that I cannot fathom anything otherwise. But the things I cannot control are my past. Things that led me to where I am today. And through my experiences I have been able to give helpful and meaningful advice. I should be happy about the bad things. Its made me who I am and got me where I am and has helped other people avoid those bad things. SO why do I wish it never happened? Mainly for the person sleeping on our bed behind me. I dwell on the past because it changed what we could have had. Even though this is the most amazing thing that I have ever had and experienced... I know in my heart there could be that something more. And we will never have that. I can never give him that chance because I took a wrong path in my past. I apologize.