(no subject)
If I were a month, I'd be: July
If I were a day of the week, I'd be: Friday
If I were a time of day, I'd be: 3 pm
If I were a planet, I'd be: Venus, I'm a woman.
If I were a sea animal, I'd be: A manatee- and serve no purpose in life.
If I were a direction, I'd be: That way.
If I were a sin, I'd be: Fucking a barn animal.
If I were a historical figure, I'd be: A Native
If I were a liquid, I'd be: Urine.
If I were a tree, I'd be: The Umbrella Tree with my buddies under me.
If I were a bird, I'd be: A dead one, birds suck.
If I were a tool, I'd be: A jackhammer... we all know why.
If I were a flower/plant, I'd be: Palm tree.
If I were a kind of weather, I'd be: A tropical storm.
If I were a mythical creature: A Liger
If I were a musical instrument, I'd be: A harmonica.
If I were an animal, I'd be: Wild and horny.
If I were a color, I'd be: White... I think they should have "White Superiority" as a crayola crayon color.
If I were an emotion, I'd be: Underwhelmed.
If I were a vegetable, I'd be: Celery.
If I were a sound, I'd be: A big, juicy fart.
If I were an element, I'd be: A bunson burner... I'm funny.
If I were a car, I'd be: A Cavalier so I could stay in Bridgewater my entire life.
If I were a song, I'd be: I touch myself
If I were a movie, I'd be: Clueless
If I were a book, I'd be: Blubber- Judy Bloome
If I were a food, I'd be: I'm going Indian.
If I were a place, I'd be: Japan.
If I were a material, I'd be: Sheet metal.
If I were a taste, I'd be: Stomach acid.
If I were a scent, I'd be: A skank's snatch.
If I were a religion, I'd be: Anti-religion.
If I were a word, I'd be: Gnome.
If I were an object, I'd be: Scissors.
If I were a body part, I'd be: Ass and titties.
If I were a facial expression, I'd be: A leper.
If I were a subject in school, I'd be: English.
If I were a cartoon character, I'd be: The Ugly One (TGS)
If I were a shape, I'd be a: An hourglass.
If I were a number, I'd be: 69.
If I were a day of the week, I'd be: Friday
If I were a time of day, I'd be: 3 pm
If I were a planet, I'd be: Venus, I'm a woman.
If I were a sea animal, I'd be: A manatee- and serve no purpose in life.
If I were a direction, I'd be: That way.
If I were a sin, I'd be: Fucking a barn animal.
If I were a historical figure, I'd be: A Native
If I were a liquid, I'd be: Urine.
If I were a tree, I'd be: The Umbrella Tree with my buddies under me.
If I were a bird, I'd be: A dead one, birds suck.
If I were a tool, I'd be: A jackhammer... we all know why.
If I were a flower/plant, I'd be: Palm tree.
If I were a kind of weather, I'd be: A tropical storm.
If I were a mythical creature: A Liger
If I were a musical instrument, I'd be: A harmonica.
If I were an animal, I'd be: Wild and horny.
If I were a color, I'd be: White... I think they should have "White Superiority" as a crayola crayon color.
If I were an emotion, I'd be: Underwhelmed.
If I were a vegetable, I'd be: Celery.
If I were a sound, I'd be: A big, juicy fart.
If I were an element, I'd be: A bunson burner... I'm funny.
If I were a car, I'd be: A Cavalier so I could stay in Bridgewater my entire life.
If I were a song, I'd be: I touch myself
If I were a movie, I'd be: Clueless
If I were a book, I'd be: Blubber- Judy Bloome
If I were a food, I'd be: I'm going Indian.
If I were a place, I'd be: Japan.
If I were a material, I'd be: Sheet metal.
If I were a taste, I'd be: Stomach acid.
If I were a scent, I'd be: A skank's snatch.
If I were a religion, I'd be: Anti-religion.
If I were a word, I'd be: Gnome.
If I were an object, I'd be: Scissors.
If I were a body part, I'd be: Ass and titties.
If I were a facial expression, I'd be: A leper.
If I were a subject in school, I'd be: English.
If I were a cartoon character, I'd be: The Ugly One (TGS)
If I were a shape, I'd be a: An hourglass.
If I were a number, I'd be: 69.