Oi.
Today was quite the eye opener.
Frank and I broke up today. And because that happened, I really didn't want to leave my stuff at his apartment much longer.
I didn't want an excuse to call or text him (because he clearly was done), and I didn't want him to worry about me contacting him for anything.
So, I rented out a U-Haul, drove up to Flagstaff and packed all my shit up in one day. (Though, now I'm very behind in my class, and I have to catch up with all of my assignment in ONE DAY; and not even a full day, at that).
Well, when my sister and I arrived at his apartment, he opened the door, and his friends were there.
Now, my first thought was that they were on their way out.
But I was completely wrong.
Frank purposely invited his friends over to watch me move my belongings out. All of my stuff was already waiting by the door.
It was incredibly awkward, untactful and immature the way it was handled. He claims I caused the break up, and he didn't feel bad for doing that to me.
I was embarrassed to say the least. It was hurtful, incredibly embarrassing, demeaning, and I had to try my hardest to keep my emotions held in.
God that was painful to do.
We had to move everything outside (not even into the U-Haul yet) so we could get out of there as quickly as we could.
Frank didn't help us.
He offered, yes, but after about 10-15 minutes of ignoring me and not acknowledging my presence.
God it hurt.
But, he claims it was all my fault.
I honestly don't think any person deserves that treatment.
He also yelled at me in front of his friends and blatantly disrespected me. Conscientiously. Knowingly. It was quite the show.
He purposely went out of his way to hurt me.
He probably wanted to hurt me as much as "I hurt him."
Though, I have never gone out of my way to embarrass him, or hurt him. I've never conscientiously tried to make him feel like shit.
I have always had good intentions for him. I tried so hard in this relationship; but it all went in vain. Out the window.
I went down to Tucson for him when I had stories to write for the paper due that week. (And didn't finish them on time.)
I traveled to Flagstaff two weekends in a row to see him. (When I was incredibly broke and had a lot of dues to pay off with the money I was generously given by my family to keep me afloat.)
I coped with his paranoia. (Which he knew was a problem. But I still dealt with it. Though it was frustrating me throughout the entire relationship that he didn't believe a word I said regarding other guys.)
Trying to get through to him was impossible. And the same could be said about me. But I did try, regardless what he thinks.
In the long run, this was a good decision.
Long distance only works when the two parties involved have complete, utter trust in one another. And he never trusted me.
Long distance only works when both parties are able to cope with talking on the phone/video chatting every day with minimal in-person contact. And he told me straight out that he couldn't do it. That he couldn't be in a relationship where he couldn't be with the person.
This wasn't meant to be. And the timing was all wrong.
Then again, even if I did stay in Flagstaff, maybe it wouldn't have worked anyway.
It was great while it lasted. I was in deeply in love with him.
But, it was fleeting. Just a moment in time that I will never forget.
But, I definitely didn't deserve what happened today.
I know I'll be OK.
I have some great people in my life here supporting me, and I know they aren't going anywhere.
I'm blessed to have them.
:)
Sometimes, the timing is all wrong.
Sometimes, people purposely do some unexpected, untactful things.
Sometimes, things end horribly.
But you just have to learn to cope with change and still be true to yourself. This was hard, but I will move on and live life to the fullest.
Crying just isn't worth it when people purposely hurt you.
Kristine
Frank and I broke up today. And because that happened, I really didn't want to leave my stuff at his apartment much longer.
I didn't want an excuse to call or text him (because he clearly was done), and I didn't want him to worry about me contacting him for anything.
So, I rented out a U-Haul, drove up to Flagstaff and packed all my shit up in one day. (Though, now I'm very behind in my class, and I have to catch up with all of my assignment in ONE DAY; and not even a full day, at that).
Well, when my sister and I arrived at his apartment, he opened the door, and his friends were there.
Now, my first thought was that they were on their way out.
But I was completely wrong.
Frank purposely invited his friends over to watch me move my belongings out. All of my stuff was already waiting by the door.
It was incredibly awkward, untactful and immature the way it was handled. He claims I caused the break up, and he didn't feel bad for doing that to me.
I was embarrassed to say the least. It was hurtful, incredibly embarrassing, demeaning, and I had to try my hardest to keep my emotions held in.
God that was painful to do.
We had to move everything outside (not even into the U-Haul yet) so we could get out of there as quickly as we could.
Frank didn't help us.
He offered, yes, but after about 10-15 minutes of ignoring me and not acknowledging my presence.
God it hurt.
But, he claims it was all my fault.
I honestly don't think any person deserves that treatment.
He also yelled at me in front of his friends and blatantly disrespected me. Conscientiously. Knowingly. It was quite the show.
He purposely went out of his way to hurt me.
He probably wanted to hurt me as much as "I hurt him."
Though, I have never gone out of my way to embarrass him, or hurt him. I've never conscientiously tried to make him feel like shit.
I have always had good intentions for him. I tried so hard in this relationship; but it all went in vain. Out the window.
I went down to Tucson for him when I had stories to write for the paper due that week. (And didn't finish them on time.)
I traveled to Flagstaff two weekends in a row to see him. (When I was incredibly broke and had a lot of dues to pay off with the money I was generously given by my family to keep me afloat.)
I coped with his paranoia. (Which he knew was a problem. But I still dealt with it. Though it was frustrating me throughout the entire relationship that he didn't believe a word I said regarding other guys.)
Trying to get through to him was impossible. And the same could be said about me. But I did try, regardless what he thinks.
In the long run, this was a good decision.
Long distance only works when the two parties involved have complete, utter trust in one another. And he never trusted me.
Long distance only works when both parties are able to cope with talking on the phone/video chatting every day with minimal in-person contact. And he told me straight out that he couldn't do it. That he couldn't be in a relationship where he couldn't be with the person.
This wasn't meant to be. And the timing was all wrong.
Then again, even if I did stay in Flagstaff, maybe it wouldn't have worked anyway.
It was great while it lasted. I was in deeply in love with him.
But, it was fleeting. Just a moment in time that I will never forget.
But, I definitely didn't deserve what happened today.
I know I'll be OK.
I have some great people in my life here supporting me, and I know they aren't going anywhere.
I'm blessed to have them.
:)
Sometimes, the timing is all wrong.
Sometimes, people purposely do some unexpected, untactful things.
Sometimes, things end horribly.
But you just have to learn to cope with change and still be true to yourself. This was hard, but I will move on and live life to the fullest.
Crying just isn't worth it when people purposely hurt you.
Kristine