(no subject)
Wow. Its been a while.
I don't know what to say to begin...
Synopsis of my life:
Mom has Lupus
Mema has stage four pancreatic cancer and started treatment this week
Jay has some sort of disease with his esophagus
Paul has a job and is living in Augusta
I am a senior and have no idea what I want to do, I'm just trying to find a job.
I'm painting again and wishing I had chosen a studio art major
Yeah...life has been rough lately.
We went over this quote by Simone de Beauvoir in class the other day...
"Il y a des jours oú Dieu est si loin qu'il semble absent"
It roughly translates into "There are days when is seems God is absent."
I've been feeling like that a lot lately. I don't doubt he is there. I just wonder why. Theres a lot of questioning going on lately.
Mema and Mom are getting here for Parents Weekend around noon tomorrow. The truth is, I'm scared to see her. I'm sure all the stress is affecting mom too. I don't know if I can handle this after I see what its doing to her, Mema.
I've been crying a lot lately. Little things set me off- I tear up in class, at lunch, watching tv...I feel like such a cry baby.
When I cry, it hurts my chest, like my heart is throwing up. I don't know how else to describe it.
Painting helps me get out my feelings. All these feelings. My professor says she can tell because all of my paintings are dark. My self portraits looked like I'm a haunting figure.
I don't know what else to say. I just felt like I should write this down.
I don't know what to say to begin...
Synopsis of my life:
Mom has Lupus
Mema has stage four pancreatic cancer and started treatment this week
Jay has some sort of disease with his esophagus
Paul has a job and is living in Augusta
I am a senior and have no idea what I want to do, I'm just trying to find a job.
I'm painting again and wishing I had chosen a studio art major
Yeah...life has been rough lately.
We went over this quote by Simone de Beauvoir in class the other day...
"Il y a des jours oú Dieu est si loin qu'il semble absent"
It roughly translates into "There are days when is seems God is absent."
I've been feeling like that a lot lately. I don't doubt he is there. I just wonder why. Theres a lot of questioning going on lately.
Mema and Mom are getting here for Parents Weekend around noon tomorrow. The truth is, I'm scared to see her. I'm sure all the stress is affecting mom too. I don't know if I can handle this after I see what its doing to her, Mema.
I've been crying a lot lately. Little things set me off- I tear up in class, at lunch, watching tv...I feel like such a cry baby.
When I cry, it hurts my chest, like my heart is throwing up. I don't know how else to describe it.
Painting helps me get out my feelings. All these feelings. My professor says she can tell because all of my paintings are dark. My self portraits looked like I'm a haunting figure.
I don't know what else to say. I just felt like I should write this down.