C'est la vie ... (not sure if that's spelled correctly??)
Scott was a jerk a few nights ago. He's going to a bachelor party in a few weeks apparently (which he off-handedly mentioned when I brought up my plans to visit him), and he was telling me how there're going to be lots of strippers and alcohol, and how "crazy fun" it will be. Then he said that it will be held in a pole barn, and went on to explain how guys usually have things like a pole barn or a garage in order to "get away from their women." I said that was kinda sad that they'd need that, and he said that he'd probably have a pole barn (basically a slap in the face saying "i know i'm going to get sick of you in the future, and i know i'm going to want to get away from you.") And topping off the coversation:
He's really sick right now, and said that they only things getting him through were drugs (medication and whatnot), his friends, and he even threw his cat in there, but never once mentioned me. Maybe I was just in some girly emotional state, but all that really got to me. In any case, he's been more or less normal again the past two days, so I dunno.... :( Brian--and everyone else--has been urging me to dump him. Maybe I should, maybe I shouldn't. I do know that I've been..having a rough time of it because of him, but I also look forward to seeing him and talking to him. GRR!
But enough about all that. I've decided that I can't live in Mighigan for much too longer. Hopefully I'll get through college before I move away, but it's becoming a stronger and stronger urge all the time. I don't know where I want to live permanently yet, but I do know that I'd like to experience living on the west coast, the east coast, and also the middle states (good for horses and animals). I also want to spend a year or two in a hispanic country--preferrably Spain, but any country will work, really. Right now all these dreams seem so far away, but it also seems that the time to do it is now--or soon!! Sometimes I feel really trapped. (Wish I would've taken a year off before college to do stuff like this!!!! But now I'm already in debt, and as soon as I stop going to college I have to start paying it all back.)
I've been working on trying to take things at face-value. For what they are. No more, no less. It's actually a lot harder than it seems. I'm trying really hard not to let things get in the way of life--things like work, school, petty responsibilities or wants, etc. I dunno. I'm so confused these days.
Blah. Stupid Spanish Composition to write! >:o
Today's Resolution: Think about what I'm going to do about my math class.
He's really sick right now, and said that they only things getting him through were drugs (medication and whatnot), his friends, and he even threw his cat in there, but never once mentioned me. Maybe I was just in some girly emotional state, but all that really got to me. In any case, he's been more or less normal again the past two days, so I dunno.... :( Brian--and everyone else--has been urging me to dump him. Maybe I should, maybe I shouldn't. I do know that I've been..having a rough time of it because of him, but I also look forward to seeing him and talking to him. GRR!
But enough about all that. I've decided that I can't live in Mighigan for much too longer. Hopefully I'll get through college before I move away, but it's becoming a stronger and stronger urge all the time. I don't know where I want to live permanently yet, but I do know that I'd like to experience living on the west coast, the east coast, and also the middle states (good for horses and animals). I also want to spend a year or two in a hispanic country--preferrably Spain, but any country will work, really. Right now all these dreams seem so far away, but it also seems that the time to do it is now--or soon!! Sometimes I feel really trapped. (Wish I would've taken a year off before college to do stuff like this!!!! But now I'm already in debt, and as soon as I stop going to college I have to start paying it all back.)
I've been working on trying to take things at face-value. For what they are. No more, no less. It's actually a lot harder than it seems. I'm trying really hard not to let things get in the way of life--things like work, school, petty responsibilities or wants, etc. I dunno. I'm so confused these days.
Blah. Stupid Spanish Composition to write! >:o
Today's Resolution: Think about what I'm going to do about my math class.