Only in America......
ONLY IN AMERICA...
...can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance
...are there handicap parking spaces in front of ice-skating rinks
...sick people go to the back of Walgreens to get their medicine, while healthy people get their cigarettes at the front
...people buy hotdogs in packs of 10 and hotdog buns in packs of 8
...the banks leave both vaults open and then chain the pens to the counter
...people order a double cheese burger, large fries, and a diet coke
...people leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveways and keep their junk in garages
...people use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so they won't miss the calls from someone they don't want to talk to in the first place
...is the word "politics" used to describe the process so well; "Poli-" in latin means "many" and "tics" mean "blood-sucking creatures
Have you ever considered suing your brain for non-support?
Who was so mean to put an "s" in the word "lisp" if people with lisps can't say the "s"?
Doctors say TV is bad for us, but why is there a TV in every hospital room?
If McDonald's loves to see you smile why do they screw up your order?
If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
If con is the opposite of pro is Congress the opposite of progress?
Donald Duck never wears pants, but why does he wraps a towel around his waist when he gets out of the shower?