(no subject)
I've been slack, and very unbearable too. I'm sorry Mike, I really am, I don't mean for you to have to walk on eggshells around me, and I know you are. And I'm so sorry. I love you so much, and thank you for putting up with me. *hugs and kisses*
I'm just really terrified right now. We had a labour scare, and now, now I'm just waiting for something else to go wrong, it's crazy, but I'm just worried something is going to happen. I know it's stupid to be thinking like that, but all this, it's really daunting. I don't know if I can do this...I'm worried something is going to go wrong, I'm worried I'm not going to be a good mother. I'm just scared.
Work's not helping either. That's just stressing me out. We now have a looong list of things we can't and cannot do. It's ridiculous. And Mike, Mike's borne the brunt of the producers anger...and it's just not fair, you know? He shouldn't have to deal with it all, I mean, everything we do, it's *our* decision, not his, not mine alone, but ours. So why should he have to deal with all the crap, I don't care if I'm in a 'delicate state' as they put it. He doesn't deserve this, and they just don't see that. Stupid people...
So, with all that, there hasn't been too much time for anything else. Kind of good though, I don't think I could take much more drama right now. But right now, I'm going to go take the phone off the hook and go have a looooong hot bath.
I'm just really terrified right now. We had a labour scare, and now, now I'm just waiting for something else to go wrong, it's crazy, but I'm just worried something is going to happen. I know it's stupid to be thinking like that, but all this, it's really daunting. I don't know if I can do this...I'm worried something is going to go wrong, I'm worried I'm not going to be a good mother. I'm just scared.
Work's not helping either. That's just stressing me out. We now have a looong list of things we can't and cannot do. It's ridiculous. And Mike, Mike's borne the brunt of the producers anger...and it's just not fair, you know? He shouldn't have to deal with it all, I mean, everything we do, it's *our* decision, not his, not mine alone, but ours. So why should he have to deal with all the crap, I don't care if I'm in a 'delicate state' as they put it. He doesn't deserve this, and they just don't see that. Stupid people...
So, with all that, there hasn't been too much time for anything else. Kind of good though, I don't think I could take much more drama right now. But right now, I'm going to go take the phone off the hook and go have a looooong hot bath.