Ships & Dip 2007 - Part Two of A Novella By Kristen

[krisstudly]

Wednesday
Wednesday was our shore day, so a lot of non-Barenakedness was involved. We went on a snorkeling excursion that was… eh. It was okay. It really was the worst snorkeling I’ve ever done out of not so many experiences, so I can’t say I was terribly enthused. I think a lot of it was because it was a cloudy day, so the water wasn’t crystal clear and the ocean was pretty choppy. We also went to a beach where there were some stingrays hanging out, but I wasn’t exactly thrilled by the idea of holding one. They were supposed to be quite friendly, but I still wasn’t enticed. Instead, I just kind of walked on the beach and looked for a rock to give a friend of mine from work who collects rocks as souvenirs of other people’s vacations. Actually, he collects “the story”, he says. There were a couple of people along with us who we knew, which was nice. It was really nice to see people I knew almost everywhere I went. I think that was the coolest part (aside from all the BNL). There were a lot of things that David wasn’t really interested in seeing, and a couple of days he had a headache and didn’t really want to do anything that involved loud music, but no matter where I went, I found people that I knew and could hang out with. That’s just not the case on a normal cruise but was so damn cool about this one.

We got back to Grand Turk from the excursion at about 1:30PM and I was feeling grimy and icky from snorkeling and then being on the boat with my hair everywhere. So I decided to go back to the boat while David spent a little time walking around the island (which was tiny, and had almost nothing to do on it). I showered, got all dressed, and then decided to walk around the boat to see what was going on. And there was nothing. Since we were still in port, absolutely everything was closed. AND! In our little “What’s happening today” pamphlet that we got, we got an announcement for ANOTHER surprise acoustic BNL show, again as we were sailing out of the port. Which meant an actual BNL set every single day of the cruise. So I wandered up to the deck where the concert was going to be (on the outside stage) and saw that there were already a handful of people there sitting down and waiting, so I figured that since there was *nothing* else going on, and there were only about two hours to wait - during which nothing was going on anyway - I would just sit on down with everyone and wait. There were a number of people there who I knew, including sandimas (one of the more well-known BNL fans, if only because all the guys in the band know him as “Michael from Sandimas” and call him such every time they see him) and other people I’d been hanging out with all week. I had told myself that I wouldn’t “wait” for anything, but in this case, I was missing absolutely nothing *and* was getting to hang out with friends and talk. It was completely fun, and I loved it. Plus, by the time we stood up and staked our “concert standing room”, I ended up being second row, right between Steve’s and Ed’s mics. Amazing.

The show was scheduled at 4PM, and at about 4:15PM Ed walked out, and we started to cheer, thinking that the show was going to start. But he shushed us, and kind of sat down on the stairs leading to the stage. He said, “Any requests?” And of course, everyone started yelling out songs like crazy. He wrote a few down and after awhile he actually looked at me, pointed, and cupped his ear. I yelled, “Long Way Back Home!” He said, “What?” I yelled it twice more to him until he finally figured out what I was saying, but he shrugged and said, “Don’t remember the lyrics!” I called out “Sell Sell Sell” next though, and they did end up playing it, so I was pretty stoked.

This set was completely amazing and was pretty much all rarities. And they played the one song that was at the top of my “I will never freaking hear this song played by BNL in this lifetime” list - their cover of “Still Ill”. OMG. When they started playing it, I flipped. I had been close enough to the stage to see the set list, but it was written really poorly and it looked like it said, “Still In”. The only thing I could figure it would be was “Still Ill”, but I just couldn’t believe that they’d be playing it, so I kept trying to figure out what it could be. So yeah, I completely spazzed out. So few people near me knew what it was too, and there I was screaming my lungs out. LOL

And as usual, there were tons of fun banter-y moments. Steve started talking about how sad he was for the cruise to be halfway over, and Kevin said, “I’m not going to get off the boat,” to which Tyler responded, “It’s a good thing Andy started playing with us again then.” LMAO Tyler is known for making terrible jokes, all the time, but he freaking cracked us up with that one. Everyone was laughing. Of course, later he *did* make a terrible joke, which we all booed. And he responded by going, “OH COME ON! You know you fucking LOVE ME!” Maybe you had to be there for that, or at least know Ty’s persona, but it was also completely hilarious. Kevin also said, “And you guys won’t even have to post about this, since you’re ALL HERE!” Ed started miming typing and said, “And then they…” and turned to the other side, as though he were a second person, “I KNOW!” Those guys are so freaking hilarious. Ed was also talking shit about how he was going to have to kick some fans’ asses at the Guitar Hero tournament the next day.

Worst part was that they announced the winners of the door decorations and the lunch with the band, and I got neither. Though I had walked around on Tuesday before the Brothers Creeggan show and looked at almost all of the doors, and it really was one of the doors I stopped in front of and said, “Yeah, that right there could very well be the winner.” So I at least felt good that the winner was one of the ones that really deserved it. They’d also posted the list of people who got into the songwriter’s session, but I wasn’t one of them. Oh well. Better luck next year, right?
Setlist for this show was:
Some Fantastic
Blame it On Me
Crazy/Fox on the Run
Helicopters
I Know
I'll Be That Girl
Adrift
Tonight is the Night I Fell Asleep At the Wheel
Who Needs Sleep (with the guys whistling instead of Steve playing the flute)
Sell Sell Sell
Still Ill
Alternative Girlfriend

Oh. And after “I Know”, Ed was like, “Yeah, and that song is so easy to remember because the lyrics are so damn logical.” LOL

Someone had taken all the pics off of the mic stand at the end of the set, and handed one to me. So I was glad to at least get one, though I felt a little bad because it had literally been ripped out of the mic stand after the guys left the stage. Must’ve had some bad karma or vibes on it, because by the time I got back to my room and reached in my pocket to show David, it was gone and I was a bit sad. Two potential picks lost.

Let’s see. I went to see Jason Plumb again with Willow, and enjoyed him again. We both signed up to be on his mailing list and he’d said *something* about possibly having his next CD available for free for the people on the list. Don’t know if he was serious, but hey, I want to keep up with his career anyway. He was damn good, and I’m really glad he came along on the cruise. After Willow and I grabbed a bite to eat (I believe… pizza again? I think I ate pizza for almost every non-breakfast meal due to never feeling like I had time to eat, and pizza being the 24 hour food option), I headed down to check out Tripping Balls, but then I ran into a couple of people who I knew and I wanted to chat with them instead, so we stood around talking instead. And then I ran into Rena again, so we made our way into the Brothers Creeggan show that was due to be up before Guster.

I was really surprised by how much I enjoyed BC on the cruise, but I really did love them. I am going to have to buy their CDs even (in fact, I just stopped mid-review and went to buy one on eBay and one from Amazon shops that weren’t available on Nettwerk’s website LOL - but the total for the two was $13). And I’m glad I went to see them a second time. Yet again, Ed joined them on stage (and Ty was their drummer) for some of the songs that are “BNL” songs, including Spider in My Room (again, Ed did the yelling, and again I found it endearing), Inline Bowline and… one other song that was a BC song that I didn’t know. The best part was, Ed stole a cowbell from Guster’s set up and started whaling away on that. I got a picture or two of it - he looked like a kid in a candy store. BC also played “Little Tiny Song”, which was freaking amazing to get to see. Yet another song that I never in a million years thought that I’d get to hear played (even if it wasn’t a full BNL song - still).

I was *planning* on staying and seeing Guster after BC. But see… Steve’s solo project The Vanity Project was playing again at the same time. And the way I figured it, Guster is likely to at some point come to Phoenix. TVP is not likely to tour again for years. And since it was going to be my last chance to see TVP, I decided I needed to go see the show again. I was arriving late, so I was a little worried about where I might be sitting, but yet *again* I got a seat right on the floor up front. I guess most people aren’t willing to sit on a hard floor for an hour long set, but I sure was. Steve’s voice was starting to go, so it was a little rough, but his voice on a bad day is better than most. And of course, as was par for the course, everywhere I went, Ed went. LOL So he came up, played the tambourine, and sang backup on “Wilted Rose”. He looked at me directly and smiled at one point and I got a pic of it, but it is a bit blurry. *Sigh*

And after *that* I went to check out Kevin’s side project Thinbuckle. It was freezing though and kind of wet, and I have to say that I didn’t love it, so I went in for more dinner and to borrow a shirt from Rena for the Guitar Hero semifinals. I was a bit nervous, because the notification I got telling me that I made it through to the next round said that we were moving up to “Hard”, which I suck at. So I wanted to at least look good and I’d already worn all my cute t-shirts. I wasn’t exactly thinking I’d make it through to the next round, so I hadn’t planned my wardrobe appropriately. She loaned me this pink t-shirt that said “Yum Yum Donuts” across the boobs. LOL I love it.

Just as I was saying goodnight to Rena and coordinating the cheering section for my GH tournament, Andy walked by and something that Rena said made him turn around and kind of look at us. We ended up having a conversation about Guitar Hero. He was asking how to play it and how it worked, and he wished me luck, saying that he might swing by the competition.

And then I crashed. I swear, I didn’t get more than 5 hours of sleep a night while I was on the boat. There was so damn much going on, and so many people to see!

Thursday
Woo! Aren’t you excited! I’m finally on the last day of the cruise! Good Gord. Sorry this has been so long… there was just *so* much that I want to remember. And there’s so much to be said about Thursday. Unfortunately for all of you guys.

Okay. So Thursday morning, first thing, was the Guitar Hero semifinals. I was hella nervous, but was completely glad that Ed did not arrive in time for my “performance”. It didn’t help that when I went to check in, Lauren from Sixthman said, “You’re the only girl who made it through to the semis, so you better represent!” Great. No pressure. The only crappy thing was… as we were about to start, she called out and said, “Greg? Is Greg here?” No answer. “Well, he doesn’t go until the third round. Hopefully he’ll be here by then.” So guess who he was set to go up against in the third round? That’s right, me. Except she bumped the guy in the bracket below me up to play me. He beat me fair and square (I totally sucked, 65% and 65K to his 87K), but it wasn’t a *total* slaughter I guess. I actually did have one of the higher scores though, but since it was going by winner of each bracket, I didn’t make it through. And of course, Greg didn’t show up by the end and so the last person set to go got an automatic bye into the finals. *Sigh* But you know… I would’ve gotten stomped by Ed, and it would’ve been embarrassing, so I’m totally okay with it.

Ed showed up right after I lost though, and started talking shit. In the very first round of the finals, he got his ass *kicked*. I mean, smeared. It was quite funny. He asked the guy, “So Oliver, when is *your* band going on tour? Are we going on your cruise next time?” LOL Also during one of the songs, he turned around and pointed to me and said, “Hey! Did you make it to the finals?” I said, “No, just top ten…” And he looked disappointed and said,"NO?!?” almost incredulously as he turned back around to face his next opponent. It was cute. And he did it while I was videotaping... so at least there's that. :)

At the end of the tournament, I got my only autograph of the entire cruise on my little paper that notified me that I got into the semifinals. I figured that it was an okay thing to ask for an autograph on, since it was something that was really “cruise specific”. I’m kind of kicking myself now for not getting a picture with him at that time but… it’s okay. I’ll get over it. I’m sure I’ll have plenty of opportunity to do so in the future. When I went up to get it signed, he was asking how the semis went for me. *Sigh* And of course, yet *again*, I could barely look at him. I swear, every time I go near him, he must think “What is this girl *doing*? She’s a total idiot!”

At that point, we wandered around, looked at the schedule, and really didn’t see anything else that we wanted to do. We wandered by the place where the line was forming and Cynthia had yet again come to my rescue and given me and David as two of the people who were in the first place in the line. I was totally stoked, because I was figuring on getting front row for the first time ever. I went ahead and let them know that I’d sit through the 1:30-2:45 shift to sit in line and hold our spot, and David was all ready to sit for the 2:45-4:00 shift (because I wanted to go watch the songwriting session on the closed circuit TV channel that they were broadcasting it on) and then I'd come back afterwards to stay the rest of the time, so we went to eat a quick lunch so that I could get in line. And guess what we had? Oh… that’s right. Pizza. Of course, now I feel bad, because come to find out, the production company stopped letting people give the number of people in their party further on down the line and you could only have two or three people with you. Up where we were, it seemed like everyone was taking shifts, so it seemed to me that everyone was doing it. Sucks that they changed the rules midstream, because I'm all for following the rules, as long as they're clear. I've done my share of RENT rushes and don't mind giving up a whole day to get front row tickets, but don't tell the people at the front of the line that they can take shifts and then tell the people at the back that they can't. *Sigh* Of course I'd feel guilty about that.

Anyway. While we were eating, sandimas just happened to walk by and asked how the GH tourney went, and I told him. We were sitting right across from Andy, and when I got up, he said to me, “So it didn’t go so well for you this morning?” And he was just asking about the tournament (as was his wife Natacha - she was like, “Well at least a female made it into the top ten!”).

So I sat my shift in line, which went by pretty quickly since there were plenty of people to chat with. The only real bummer was that we heard that all the people who had priority seating (which was *supposed* to be the balcony seats) were going to be able to go in 30 minutes before us because the balcony seating hadn’t worked very well on Tuesday night. I was a bit sad about that, but the people who paid for the suites and greening program paid an *assload*, so I figured it was only fair and that we’d just take our chances with first in the line that would be let in later.

We went up to Rena and Dave’s room to watch the songwriting session, which I *really* wish I had been at. They played Home, Long Way Back Home (someone brought in the lyrics for Ed to read from because he had kept telling people that he didn’t know the words - Ed talked about how it was about the four years that he and his wife tried to get pregnant with their second baby and how heart-breaking it was to take so long because of their timing, because their first happened so easily and naturally), Fun and Games, and Thanks That Was Fun - all four are very high on my list of favorites. And talked a lot about the writing process - it was interesting to listen to and though I wish I could’ve been there, it was at least nice to get to listen in. Ed also talked about how one of my favorite songs, Half a Heart, is a song he wrote four years ago, but didn’t feel ready to put it on the album at the time because it was too painful and he wasn’t ready to talk about it yet. He’d mentioned a song that was very painful to him in an interview and I’d wondered if that was the one. He piqued my interest, of course, by mentioning it and then not actually talking about it. He seemed like he was about to talk about it, and then kind of veered into another direction. And maybe it was on purpose, but I just can’t help but be curious.

So as I was going to find my husband, I walked down the staircase to find Cynthia sitting on the fourth floor, near the upstairs entrance to the main theater where the show was going to be. I knew that she had been one of the $500 contributors to the Greening program, so I figured she was at the head of the line for the priority seating and I stopped to say hello to her. And then she became my personal hero. She proceeded to tell me that someone had walked by her earlier and given her an extra priority seating ticket that the person’s young son wasn’t going to be using. And that she was going to be giving me the extra ticket. And that she was the first person in line for the priority seating, which meant we would have the pick of the whole theater. OMFG! I could’ve peed, I was so darn happy. I honestly had not expected to get anywhere in the first few rows once I found out that 100 priority seatings would happen before the group I’d been waiting with downstairs got to go in. And I have never been front row at a BNL show, so I was totally stoked. I took my seat in line beside her and helped her make a banner that said “Thanks, This Was Fun!” that a bunch of us signed with little messages to the guys. So when the doors opened up for us, I went right down into the front row and grabbed a seat that was Ed side, but a bit towards the center. Talk about being ecstatic and ridiculously, ridiculously grateful. We went ahead and let Willow come sit with us too, once she got in the doors, because she’s… well, she’s a bit short and can’t see much of anything unless she’s in the front. So we sat and watched BiA again, and then they left the cruise video on loop for what seemed like an eternity. It was funny the first time or two. But it got very old, very quickly (since the clip was about 5 minutes long, total). We ragged on it for a bit, and even that got old.

And then, of course, I started to get a little paranoid. Because that’s what I do best. I was starting to think maybe I shouldn’t be front row on Ed side, because I really didn’t want to look like a groupie or stalker or any of the above. I mean, I was thrilled to be front row for the first time ever, but just feeling a little weird about it, knowing that Ed would recognize me and see me there. Not that I was going to move because of my paranoia, but it was enough to make me uncomfortable for awhile.

ETA: Yes. I'm adding more, because I remembered the thing that made me laugh harder than anything else on the cruise. There was an opener for BNL. He was a juggling man, who... I'm sorry if you're reading this Checkerboard Guy, but he was rather lame. I was okay with him, until he did this juggling trick with ping pong balls and his mouth... and part of the "act" was to drop one on the floor, put it back in his mouth, and make a face like it tasted bad. And *then* take it out of his mouth, wipe it on his armpit and put it back in. And *then* take it out again and wipe it on an *audience* member's armpit and put it back in his mouth. At that point in the show, he totally lost me. I couldn't even watch. I was just so grossed out. But during the Thursday show, at the point where he got up on his super-tall unicycle (with some help by an audience member who literally had to lift his ass into the seat - part of the "act", again), my husband suddenly said, "Holy shit, does he have a boner?" And... well, it sure seemed that he did. And then we just couldn't stop watching. Childish, yes. But it kept my mind off of the nasty ping pong ball trick (LOL - that sounds worse than it was). And at one point a few minutes later, Willow turned to me and said, "I can't stop looking at it!" To which I *completely* inadvertantly said, "I know! It's hard, isn't it?" ROFL This may be a "You had to be there" kind of moment. But it was one of those moments where you laugh so hard that you cannot breathe and you cannot stop laughing. Literally couldn't stop. It was priceless. And that guy was just creepy.

SO anyway. When they finally came out to play, we held up the sign for the first song, and Ed, Steve, and Jim (who actually came down from his pedestal) all read it and smiled at us. But then for the next… what seemed like an eternity, Ed didn’t look in our direction once so of course my paranoia came creeping back, and I was starting to feel like maybe I should just crawl into a hole. Of course, Steve seemed to be looking at us for a huge portion of the time - it was really bizarre. One of the girls next to me was like, “I can’t tell who he’s looking at, but he is looking over here an awful lot.”

It was a really funny show and by the end of the second song, Ed seemed ready to burst when he finally said, “So should we make an announcement?” And Steve said, “Sure.” And Ed goes, “Well, we’ve decided that we definitely don’t want to do a Ships and Dip 2. Because we think that if there’s no way anything can live up to this cruise, and obviously Ships and Dip 2 would only be a letdown.” Cue sadness from the audience. “So what we’ve decided to do is go ahead and skip right to Ships and Dip 3!” WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Total cheering and screaming like crazy. Everyone was all freaking out and thrilled. I knew that they were going to wait to see how this cruise went before they decided on whether they wanted to do another one, but I really didn’t expect to hear the announcement while still *on board*. WOO! And then Steve gave some of the details (leaving out of Miami, Jan 6-10, Carnival Victory) and said that the people on this cruise would have priority to get on the next boat. And you know what that means, kiddos. I’m a’goin’ on another Barenaked cruise! Ed said, “We did note one oversight on our part though - on S&D3, we promise to have actual chips and dip all over the boat. There was none to be found on this ship, and we will not make that mistake again!” LOL

Among other amusing things… Ed asked Tyler how he enjoyed the extra cereal he got with his breakfast that morning. He was all, “So Tyler had this very healthy breakfast on his room service card, so I added one of every surgary sweet cereal on the list to his order.” Tyler was like, “Yeah, thanks for that. I told the guy, ‘I didn’t order any cereal with my breakfast!’ and he just shrugged and said, ‘Oh well.’” They were also talking about their favorite memories of the cruise, and Ed said, “I have to say, mine is from right after the naked photo, when we were walking down off the platform. Someone walked by me and said, ‘Nice cock!’” ROFL Oh man. And that was his favorite moment of the cruise! LOL That’s freaking hilarious. I can’t imagine saying that.

But the overall funniest moment of the concert was when Ed decided to go ahead and tell the story of the Rock Boat condom found in his room. He was like, “I didn’t have to deal with it, because I was taking 1500 photos with you people, but my poor wife… I don’t blame the people who clean the room though, because it was stuck between two books in one of the drawers. My wife is one of those people that as soon as she gets somewhere, she wants to know all about the place, so she of course went straight to the little informational books in the room and when she pulled them apart…” And he made this very amusing “shocked and disgusted” face. And then he goes, “My wife is so rock'n'roll that she tried to take it like a Freezee Pop, but she couldn’t figure out whose it was” and he made the motion of someone trying to get the last juices out of a Freezee Pop. Oh my Lord. LOL It was so foul, but so hysterically funny. And Steve was completely flabbergasted. He was like, “I can’t… I can’t believe you… I’m going to go. Ships and Dip 3 has been cancelled.” And he walked off the stage shaking his head. He came back after a few seconds, but was still like, “I can’t believe you went there.” And yet, it was completely hilarious. Especially because they segued straight into “For You”, which was just not the song to sing right after saying that about your wife. Too freaking funny.

I think it was shortly after that that Ed actually looked at me and smiled during a song, which finally set me at ease and made me feel like I wasn’t going to freak him out. And from that point, I was completely comfortable and having a freaking blast. I figured it was pretty much the last hurrah of the cruise and was just dancing and singing away.

Until… *sigh* Have I mentioned that I simply adore Ed? I mean, I really was 100% completely satisfied with my cruising experience as soon as he smiled at me, because it reassured me that he didn’t think I was a total spaz. And then the man had to go completely over the top. He’d come out to our side of the stage and rocked out on a couple of guitar solos, so that he was about… oh, two feet away from us. Close enough that I could’ve reached out and touched his guitar without a problem. And during “It’s All Been Done” (which, coincidentally, is the song that they played on Leno with David Duchovny that I would call my “conversion”) he did the same exact thing again. He was rocking out on his guitar solo and I was just looking up at him thinking that it was the most amazing experience in the world. And when he finished his guitar solo, instead of going back to his mic, he stopped. He kind of bowed down in front of me. And he presented me with the pick he’d just been playing with.

*Thud*

I very hesitantly took it from him (seriously, it took me a couple seconds to realize that this was *for me*) and then he gave me a huge smile and went back to his mic to get another pick and sing his next part. Good Lord. That man sure knows how to set a girl’s heart aflutter. I *still* cannot believe he did that. I don’t think I saw him do anything that deliberate the whole rest of the cruise. I just can’t help but feel like what I said in my letter to the band was something that Ed *really* needed to hear at that exact moment. I mean, I know he said that to me when he thanked me for the letter, but I guess I just… I dunno. Whatever touched him about what I wrote must have really touched him, because I felt like he just couldn’t have been any nicer to me all week, and to culminate the cruise and my first front row experience with that? Amazing.

And of course, Rena leaned over and said, “Gee, Kristen. I wonder if he actually meant to give that pick to *you*”, mocking me for when I was not sure he smiled at me during Tuesday’s show. LOL But yeah, that was just about the most amazing BNL moment for me ever. Just the way he did it, was so… gentlemanly or something. *Sigh* It was fantastic. And a great memory to add to my amazing BNL memory bank. And really, I owe it all to Cynthia. *She* is the one who pretty much talked me into giving the guys a letter. And that got the whole thing rolling. And then *she* is the one who got the extra priority ticket and gave it to me. If I hadn't been front row, that simply wouldn't have happened. I owe Cynthia a kidney!
Setlist for this show:
Wind It Up
Old Apartment
Sound of Your Voice
Box Set
Jane
These Apples
Upside Down
Aluminum
Bull in A China Shop
Bedside Manor
Conventioneers
For You
Maybe You're Right
Too Little Too Late
Angry People
Pinch Me
Light Up my Room
It’s All Been Done
One Week
Brian Wilson
Easy (First Encore)
$1000000 (First Encore)
Call & Answer (Second Encore)

And a little before the show ended (or maybe it was at the beginning of the set, I don’t know), Ed pretty much told us straight up that we should go to the New Odds/Acid Wish show that was immediately following the BNL show because he would be heading out to it and possibly making an appearance. So we, of course, obliged. We went up to the deck at about 12:20 and listened to the New Odds set, which I really enjoyed. I wandered off for a little bit to find my husband (I never did) and then I ran into Rena again, grabbed something to eat, and wandered back outside around 1AM to watch the Acid Wish set. And holy shit. I am *so* glad I didn’t miss this set. As it turned out, every single member of the band made an appearance at one point or another. And Ed spent the majority of the time on the stage (even playing drums for a good 20 minutes or so - and he’s really pretty good on them!). It seemed to start with them playing individual songs but very quickly turned into one huge freaking jam session. It lasted until a little after 4AM. They just kept going and going, and more people would come up on stage as others left. In fact, it seemed like almost every single musician on the *ship* got onto the stage at one point or another. After the first couple of songs, they didn’t play anything in its entirety, but we are actually working on a list of the songs, and it’s ridiculous. And it was amazing. Utterly and completely amazing and fun. We danced and sang and danced and laughed. And the guys on stage seriously looked like they were having a freaking blast. It was absolutely the best way to wrap up the cruise. I honestly cannot even say enough about it. At one point, Tyler started singing a song (I cannot remember which), and the lyrics involved him saying “Touch me!” And Ed started rubbing his crotch. Not just rubbing. It was pretty much a 15 second hand job. And it was seriously one of the funniest things I have seen in a long long time. It just so happened that it was *right* after they’d sung a snippet of “Faith” and since I so love hearing Ed sing this song, I had my video camera going. That’s right, kiddos, I got video of Ed feeling up Tyler. Priceless. And now, if you’ll indulge me… a list of the snippets of songs they freaking went through Just because I want to be able to remember them (these are being compiled on bn.net, this is not my own personal list). And this is only what we’ve come up with so far. We know there’s more.
Sabotage (Beastie Boys)
Shake Your Rump (Beastie Boys)
My Neck, My Back (Khia)
Smack That (Akon)
Devil Went Down to Georgia (Charlie Daniels Band)
Dueling Banjos (Trad'l)
I Am A Man of Constant Sorrow (Trad'l)
The Gambler (Kenny Rogers)
Love Cats (The Cure)
Boys Don't Cry (The Cure)
Rio (Duran Duran)
Tainted Love (Soft Cell)
Under Pressure (Queen)
Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go (Wham!)
Faith (George Michael)
Wonderwall (Oasis)
Where It's At (Beck)
Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots Pt. 1 (Flaming Lips)
Don't Worry Be Happy (Bobby McFerrin)
Puff the Magic Dragon (Peter, Paul, and Mary)
Leaving On A Jet Plane (Peter, Paul, and Mary)
Brown Eyed Girl (Van Morrison)
Bennie and the Jets (Elton John)
Crocodile Rock (Elton John)
The Bitch Is Back (Elton John)
Daniel (Elton John)
Detroit Rock City (KISS)
I Was Made For Lovin' You (KISS)
War Pigs (Black Sabbath)
I Wanna Be Sedated (The Ramones)
We Will Rock You (Queen)
Day Tripper (The Beatles)
The Stroke (Billy Squier)
Hey Jude (The Beatles)
American Girl (Tom Petty)
The Lion Sleeps Tonight (Trad'l)
Tom Sawyer (Rush)
The Joker (Steve Miller Band)
Jet Airliner (Steve Miller Band)
No Woman No Cry (Bob Marley)
Mr. Boombastic (Shaggy)
Country Roads (John Denver)
Island Girl (Elton John)
Rock and Roll All Night (KISS)
Last Nite (The Strokes)
Fox on the Run (Trad'l)
Twist and Shout (Isley Bros.)
Shout (Isley Bros.)
Dear Prudence (The Beatles)
Magaritaville (Jimmy Buffet)
Mandolin Rain (Bruce Hornsby)
Low Rider (War)
Killing In the Name (Rage Against the Machine)
Walk On the Wild Side (Lou Reed)
Jump (Van Halen)
Ring of Fire (Johnny Cash)
Satisfaction (Rolling Stones)
Da Doo Ron Ron (The Crystals)
Add It Up (Violent Femmes)
Start Me Up (Rolling Stones)
Electric Avenue (Eddy Grant)
Carolina In My Mind (James Taylor)
Sweet Home Alabama (Lynyrd Synyrd)
Baba O'Reily (The Who)
Hot In Herre (Nelly)
Rappers Delight (Sugarhill Gang)
Asshole (Denis Leary)
Rock and Roll (Led Zeppelin)
Lucy In the Sky With Diamonds (The Beatles)
Lady in Red (Cris Deburgh)
Wonderful Tonight (Eric Clapton)
Paradise City (G'N'R)
Mony Mony (Billy Idol)
Jukebox Hero (Foreigner)
Coward of the County (Kenny Rogers)
Fa Fa (Guster)
Tax Man (The Beatles)
Love Shack (The B-52s)
Devil's Haircut (Beck)
Loser (Beck)
I Feel Good (James Brown)
Rock Around the Clock (Bill Haley and the Comets)
Miss You (Rolling Stones)
Roxanne (The Police)
Paint It Black (Rolling Stones)
The Temples of Syrinx (Rush)
If I Had $1000000 (Duh)
Stir It Up (Bob Marley)
Mr. Big Stuff (Jean Knight)
Can’t Explain (The Who)
I Can See For Miles (The Who)
Old Time Rock and Roll (Bob Seger)
It’s Only Rock & Roll (Rolling Stones)
Nice Legs Shame About Her Face (The Monks)
Bad Case of Loving You (Robert Palmer)
Smokin’ in the Boys Room (Brownsville Station)
Blue Suede Shoes (Elvis Presley)
Sharp-Dressed Man (ZZ Top)
Wonderful World (Sam Cooke)

It was, as you can probably tell, completely insane and bloody awesome. All I could think was, “How can I possibly get off this boat in 5 hours? I want to stay forever!”

And when it finally came to an end, a bunch of us went to eat a final meal together and to debrief after that most amazing time. Seriously, the deck was almost full at four in the freaking morning. Incredible. And of course, as we sat there, we got in one final little Ed sighting, as he sat down in the table right behind ours (in the direction that I was facing). We didn’t bother him, though I admit that we laughed raucously while joking about wanting “ice cream sandwiches” (code for “the person you’re talking about has just entered the room). Didn’t say a thing to him, but it was nice to have that last moment. Because that’s been one of the more depressing things, actually. While I didn’t go up to any of the guys and bug them (except for the one autograph from Ed), it felt like I was constantly on the lookout for one of them to walk by or be sitting nearby, because they really did just mingle with the rest of us for a good portion of the cruise. And when I got to the airport, I realized that I was still looking up every so often and scanning the room quickly to see if there was anyone I recognized. Sad. Sad to go back to my normal life where there just isn’t that possibility of running into Ed or Steve or Andy at 2AM when eating my dinner. It would've been nice, though, to not just have *Ed* moments. As much as I like Ed, I do love all the other guys too. Ed just happens to be the only one of them who "knows" me I guess, so I suppose that's why it's more likely that I'll have encounters with him. Oh well. :) We'll see about next year.

It really felt to me like I was at Barenaked Ladies summer camp. I made so many friends who are people I’ve talked to online for ages, but would probably never have gotten the opportunity to meet otherwise. And we shared in this amazing experience that is almost impossible to convey to people who haven’t done it. I hope all my friends who didn’t get in on the fun this time actually get to do it next time. Because it was phenomenal and worth every penny. I absolutely cannot wait to go back next year. Can’t freaking wait. And yet, I don’t want to just wish my whole year away. I’m going to do my best not to, but man… after the best week of my life, it’s really hard *not* to want it to come as quickly as possible. And every time I thought "This simply cannot get any better", it really got even better. I cannot even believe what a good time it was, even though I fully expected to have an amazing time. The guys, both band and crew and production company, all worked so darn hard to make sure everything went well and that everyone had a good time. It was such an incredible effort on their part and they really went above and beyond. I feel so lucky that my favorite band works so hard and cares so much about its fans. I truly feel like my favorite band is the best favorite band to have.

Let’s see… lastly, I noticed when getting on the shuttle for the airport that my wedding ring has cracked all the way through in the place where it was resized. My guess is that it’s from all the freaking clapping I did this week, which I find kind of amusing. But now I need to take it in and get it fixed before I can wear it. I also can’t wear my engagement ring, since it’s too big and the wedding ring was the only thing keeping it on. So I will have to be ringless for a little while. Oops.

Oh! And I think the new medication really is helping immensely. I didn’t have much more than a little nausea this week - no major issues whatsoever, and considering all the stress, I think that’s remarkable. I’m definitely going to call my doctor and let him know so I can see about getting refills.

And I think that’s it. It’s depressing to be home, honestly. I cannot imagine having to go to work and deal with all the bullshit I’m going to have to deal with on Monday. I’ve already talked to my counterpart at work and she said that this past week was pretty much hell. I think I’ll have to be firing someone on Monday. Ohhhhh joy. Ugh. Real life sucks. I wish I could’ve just stayed on the boat.

Other bad news is that I’ve heard the tour in May/June will be a northern one. So I really might have to travel to see them. Hopefully they’ll at least go somewhere near my brother so I can still follow through on that plan.

I know there’s something else that I’m forgetting, but I cannot for the life of me remember what it is. Probably because I’m sleep deprived and have been writing this review forever. Ah-ha. Last but certainly not least, I have asked Steve if he was offended by my sketch and he said that he was not, but that he found it very funny. So next time I get a chance, I'm going to get him to sign it for me. :) After an average of about 4-5 hours of sleep a night, I think I really need to roll into bed.

So, uh… almosttomorocco Is this enough detail to make you feel like you were there? LOL