I can never think of titles.....

[krissi518]

So, today was a bit of an emotional day. I decided this weekend that I was going to put in my notice at work. (Can you believe it April????) I really like my boss, so all morning I was stressing over what to tell her. It turned out that she completely understood, which was awesome. I was worried she would hate me forever! But she thinks it will be good for me to get out of there. There is way too much drama. So I hope to find a job by next Thursday or I will be a little stuck. But Publix is hiring across the street from my house, so that is my back up. :) If I can't get a job there with my resume, I am a retard! So when I got home, I was so worn out.....I took a long nap. Then tonight, I was with Jason at the video store and he found out that his grandfather passed away today. So, I'm going through all those emotions. I just want to be there with him, hugging him and telling him I'm sorry and that I love him, but I am here. I know he's ok, but it still sucks. I just lost my grandma in May. It was expected, but that doesn't make things easier. So now I am tired. And my back hurts. So I am off to bed. Oh yeah, I wrote John an email telling him that we shouldn't see each other/talk to each other for awhile. It's so hard with him. We broke up about 2 1/2 months ago...my doing. Well, he broke up with me first. And we tried to do the whole friend thing, but it ended up as friends with benefits. Only he was benefitting, and I was getting more hurt. But I wanted to be around him. Then when I finally started to think we would never get back together, I met Jason. And things started going really well with him, but John told me about a week later that he realized he was an idiot and wanted me back. That was what I wanted for so long, that I took him back. But when I got back from my grandma's funeral, I was still confused. I love John, but I wanted to see where things went with Jason. And I am really glad I did. It's just that now John is doing the same thing I did. Wanting to see me, no matter how hard it is. And it's just not healthy. So I think I am doing the right thing, but I am never sure with him. I hate hurting him, but one of us always ends up hurt. We will be better friends if we chill for awhile. I just hope he understands that.
Now I am really off to bed, although I'm not that sleepy, my eyes just hurt.