(no subject)
Recognizing something is the first step toward changing it.
I've heard this twice in two days - from two close friends. I tend to recognize things, think about them for about a second, then do nothing to change them. This has been the cycle for awhile. So, how do I take that next step? How do I try to change things?
I ignore thoughts/feelings/etc. hoping they'll go away. Usually they do for a bit, but come back - sometimes worse. Loads of people have suggested that I take time for myself to not only think about these things but actually think about what to do. I spend plenty of time thinking about the questions but I generally avoid thinking about the answers. I know I'm being vague.. but that's what I do. I keep things inside. I don't talk to people when I should. I just don't know that it would help - the feelings are fleeting, but not. They are recurring but not routine. I hope that makes sense. I'm just not happy with where I'm at. I'm struggling with the usual internal questions. I kind of feel like I'm a mesh of ex-boyfriends + Matt .. which isn't entirely bad but I'm not sure where I am in all of that. I feel like I'm just going along with things - kind of floating through life. At times I want to go off on my own to explore the world and live my own life. Other times I think I'd be miserable doing that. But unless I do it, how will I know? I guess it's a bit late to be thinking about all this again... guess I should have tried to do something about it when I wasn't in my current position (read: engaged, five months from marriage).
Maybe the grass will always be greener on the other side...
I've heard this twice in two days - from two close friends. I tend to recognize things, think about them for about a second, then do nothing to change them. This has been the cycle for awhile. So, how do I take that next step? How do I try to change things?
I ignore thoughts/feelings/etc. hoping they'll go away. Usually they do for a bit, but come back - sometimes worse. Loads of people have suggested that I take time for myself to not only think about these things but actually think about what to do. I spend plenty of time thinking about the questions but I generally avoid thinking about the answers. I know I'm being vague.. but that's what I do. I keep things inside. I don't talk to people when I should. I just don't know that it would help - the feelings are fleeting, but not. They are recurring but not routine. I hope that makes sense. I'm just not happy with where I'm at. I'm struggling with the usual internal questions. I kind of feel like I'm a mesh of ex-boyfriends + Matt .. which isn't entirely bad but I'm not sure where I am in all of that. I feel like I'm just going along with things - kind of floating through life. At times I want to go off on my own to explore the world and live my own life. Other times I think I'd be miserable doing that. But unless I do it, how will I know? I guess it's a bit late to be thinking about all this again... guess I should have tried to do something about it when I wasn't in my current position (read: engaged, five months from marriage).
Maybe the grass will always be greener on the other side...