Have you ever loved somebody so much, it made you cry?
So, it's been two years since Chris' passing. And It's been two years and five days since I've talked to him. It's been two years and two weeks since I've seen him alive.
I want to hold him just one more time.
And I want to see his face alive and full of smiles just one more time.
I miss him so much.
He was my muse for so many things. With out him I would never be who I am today. He's shaped me more than anybody I know. When he was alive, he was my foundation for living. He was my everything.
I miss hanging out with him. I miss his hugs. I miss his 'home cooked' spagetti from a can. I miss his smile. I miss his laugh. I miss dying his hair funky colours. I miss movie nights with him. I miss cookie fights. I miss using his cell phone to prank call people and then laughing about it. I miss his hot pockets. I miss staying at his house untill 12 at night and then having him walk me home and fall asleep in my living room. I miss spending x-mas with him. I miss kissing him on new years. I miss everything about him. I totally took him for granted and I want to take it all back so I could treat him like royalty.
I want him back so bad. It's unfair that he just left me like he did. I hate his stupid dad. I hate his fucked up way of mentality. And I'm glad he's gone too.
He didn't deserve to live.
FUCK.
Happy deathiversary.
R.I.P CCM