(no subject)
Why haven't I updated in a month.....I dunno. There's not really anything important going on in my life.....just the same old shit...
Still single,
Still depressed,
Still lonely,
Still in pain,
Still hate my job,
Still spend way too much money on crap I don't need,
Still want everything to change, but can't figure out how to do it....
Like.....tonight was supposed to be fun. Dave's big party....finally.... But I just got bored and lonely and depressed out of nowhere, and left. I don't know why either. An obvious thought is that things just felt so awkward there......like...everyone is off doing their own little things, and I'm not involved with any of them.... I feel so left out sometimes....
And I sure as fuck don't hope this will happen on Thursday when (if?) I go to Omaha. (it's an if since Will and Nick are still dicking me around here)
But even then.....the more people I'm around, the more miserable I get. If I'm alone, I feel better.....and I don't know why this is.....
I've given up trying to change because I know at this point in my life, it's not gonna happen......but why am I bored with EVERY little mundaine aspect of my life?????
Still single,
Still depressed,
Still lonely,
Still in pain,
Still hate my job,
Still spend way too much money on crap I don't need,
Still want everything to change, but can't figure out how to do it....
Like.....tonight was supposed to be fun. Dave's big party....finally.... But I just got bored and lonely and depressed out of nowhere, and left. I don't know why either. An obvious thought is that things just felt so awkward there......like...everyone is off doing their own little things, and I'm not involved with any of them.... I feel so left out sometimes....
And I sure as fuck don't hope this will happen on Thursday when (if?) I go to Omaha. (it's an if since Will and Nick are still dicking me around here)
But even then.....the more people I'm around, the more miserable I get. If I'm alone, I feel better.....and I don't know why this is.....
I've given up trying to change because I know at this point in my life, it's not gonna happen......but why am I bored with EVERY little mundaine aspect of my life?????