(no subject)
i miss my friends. my REAL friends. i miss how it was. today has been so depressing, mainly because i thought it was going to make me feel better. i thought i was going to get to spend the day with one of those real friends, and talk and catch up, but i ended up sitting at home alone. belkfsedjsm. god i hate it. you know that feeling you get, that rush in your head, when you want to cry but you're trying to hold it back. i've had it all day. im just not who i want to be right now. i want to be surrounded by people who really love me and give a damn. my boyfriend is still locked up. for something i did. for my stupidity. he is such a good person, he really is, and he doesnt deserve any of this. its sad that its been over 2 months and i still cry everytime i think about it. i just want things to be back to the way they were. i need therapy. some days i wonder how he can look at me the way he does. how he can love me. im so fucked up. but he does. he really does. he keeps me going. i dont deserve him at all.