you kick up the leaves and the magic is lost.

[krisness08]

god i wish there was a national crying competition. im damn good at it. anything can make me cry. say one little thing that has anything to do with hurting and the thought "god i miss him. he always made things ok" flashes through my head as tears come on command. up till very recently i thought i was the only one in the world who hurt that bad

Comments

[captain_pooky]

I know how you are about your grandpa and I guess I figured you'd automatically know what I was going through seeing how about a year ago we'd be sitting in Kacee's car and she'd say "What's wrong Kris? Now we're going to sit her until you tell us what's wrong or get into a better mood." I remember that you would tell me later that you would just get sad sometime because you missed him. After that, I got it. Whenever Kacee would ask you that question again and you had that look on your face, I'd just leave you alone because that's how I'd want to be. I can't blame you for being you. I know how you always just wanna be there for people and help them, even if it comes out wrong sometimes. And it's probably gonna kill you for me to say, that right now you can't really do anything for me. You can't help me and I won't be able to talk about it. Even though you're probably the most understanding person on this subject. Sometimes I just wanna break down and tell you everything, like right now. But whenever I want to, it's never the right time. Another thing is that probably the most embarassing thing for me, is other people seeing me cry, even best friends. It's weird, but crying makes feel exposed. I don't know how else to put it. I just hope you understand.