clearing up for last entry
i walked into my dad's room, only to walk into a room full of boxes with his stuff in them. its not like i didnt know that this was coming cuz he told me. and when he told me i was just like "watever." but now it sinks in, it being the realization that the man who raised, fed, and sheltered me is now leaving. even though we werent the all-american father/son duo, we still had our moments. but all he really cared about was my education and my health. and thats fucking solid. flashback: i creep downstairs to get a drink while my dad and his friend are watching tv. little did i know they were watching porno. haha so i creep and my dad see me and say "do you want to watch?" i say "no, i want the yoohoo in the fridge." i go and then smile going back upstairs. but now i guess it's time for him to take care of himself and at the same time im gonna have to do the same, with a little help from my mom. im no where close to the man my dad is. i mean he wakes up at 3 am drives to the city of commerce (far) works til at 2 30-3 then comes back home and cooks. and it used to be the same routine but then pick me up at school in the ghetto, and then go home. and he was always the chill dad, never really yelled, but i never wanted to do anything hardcore, cuz i know he would be my ass. experience through my other brother who did stupid things as a teen. flashback: playing catch by myself with a billiards ball in the living room, ball slips and break the glass table. dad comes home later that day and whips me with a billiard stick. even though i blocked it with my arm, my arm was in pain. now that was fucking gangster. but then i ran away, or i rollerbladed away. i think id be a bum if i didnt have my dad. im so lucky, i have a car, insurance, and medical. things i think we take for granted. anywayssss, thats that and thats how its gonna go. its just how i deal with it, thats the tricky one. i guess im an emotional guy when it comes to my family.. so here comes the emotion. thanx for the love errone.. it never ceases to amaze me that people still care bout me. tear.