Dear Floozy at the Gas Station,
Let me give you a little lesson in what and what not to do at the gas station. I know this is a hopping place to be at 5:30 since it's by the mall and all, not to mention that it has cheap gas and it's on a busy corner, right by the KFC and Walgreens, but seriously. When there are already three cars waiting for four pumps, don't just pull up and slide right in. And after you cut everyone off, well, you might as well go ahead and have the nerve to get out of the car in your impossibly short skirt, pump your gas, and then wash every single one of your windows and your goddamn vanity license plate from Wisconsin. Now there are five cars waiting and what do you do? Do you replace your pump, get back in your car, and go park in front of the station so you can go in and pay? Of course not! You sashay your pumps and metallic what-is-that-a-shrug? inside to pay at the counter, leaving your out of state car parked and making us wait longer in the 90 degree heat. Great. Just great. I'm sorry you're a moron. I'm sorry you don't have any manners. Maybe you can get a date with the guy whose pump I was waiting for--he too left his piece-of-shit car parked there while he went into to pay and buy two cases of Natty Light and a pack of chew. Five people and a guy with a gas can pumped gas and left and you and the lady in front of you cut me off while he was in the store. I counted. If I never have to get gas again, it won't be too soon.