I'll Take Care of You (So Take Care With my Heart)
Summary: Luhan and Jongdae have been through a lot on their road to stardom. However, even though Jongdae has nerves of steel and is ready for anything, Luhan still manages to take him by surprise.
By: krishoislove
Rating: pg
Written for chenpionships 2014! Happy birthday Jongdae~
I’ll Take Care of You (So Take Care With My Heart)
August 3, 2008
Jongdae fidgeted nervously and fought the urge to sit on his hands as he waited for the president of his company to show up. What kind of impression would he make if he was sitting on his hands like he was five years old? The secretary who had lead him up to the office had hinted that the Big Boss was going to let him debut, and he didn’t want to screw his chances over by leaving a bad impression. Jongdae vaguely wondered if it was going to be a solo debut, but then dismissed the thought. He wasn’t talented or charismatic enough to hold out on his own. He would probably be in a larger group, with maybe three or four other trainees.
Jongdae gazed around the office in an attempt to distract himself, his eyes glancing over the shiny trophies in the glass case on the other side of the table. He looked at the big names emblazoned on the plaques and sighed heavily. How was he going to help add to the achievements of the company? He was only nineteen. He thought he would have a little more time to hone his skills before he was thrust out on to the big stage.
The office door burst open, and Jongdae shot to his feet, extending a shaky hand to his boss. “Good morning, sir.”
The man smiled at him, and Jongdae blinked in surprise when he noticed the other man standing behind his boss. The guy was dressed for a formal meeting with the company president-blazer, tie, dress pants, the works-but what caught Jongdae’s attention were the man’s eyes. They were big and round, and absolutely beautiful.
“Good morning Jongdae.” The president’s voice held a hint of amusement when he saw how Jongdae stared behind him. “Have a seat, please.”
Jongdae sat down in his seat while his boss circled around the desk to settle heavily in his chair on the other side. The other guy hesitated for a moment before coming to sit in the seat beside Jongdae, and Jongdae gave him a polite smile. There was nothing wrong with being welcoming right? Especially if being welcoming got him on the path to a point in time where he would have a chance to make out with the guy…Jongdae blinked, and forced himself to focus on his boss. He could think about making out with Pretty Eyes later.
“Jongdae, this is Xiao Lu. Lu, this is Kim Jongdae. Now, you two haven’t met before because Lu recently transferred to this branch from our Chinese training center. Nevertheless, I hope you two will get along.” Jongdae watched with interest as the man fixed a stern gaze on Pretty Eyes-Xiao Lu. “Also, Jongdae, don’t worry, Lu is fluent in Korean, so you two will be able to communicate just fine.” Jongdae looked over at Lu, who looked steadily back at him for a few moments before turning his gaze back towards their boss.
“Now, I’ve been thinking about this for a while. Surely, you’ve the rumors that I’ve been planning for a new ballad duo to debut in a few months.”
Jongdae nodded hesitantly while Lu just looked confused. Apparently, the rumors hadn’t spread over to the Chinese branch.
“I have decided that you two are the best candidates for the duo.”
Jongdae’s jaw dropped. True, he’d been expecting it, but weren’t there supposed to be other things that led up to being chosen to debut? Things such as performances for the board of directors, assessments in vocal and dance training, and extra evaluations?
The president out-right laughed. “Jongdae, close your mouth before a fly goes in.”
Jongdae’s mouth shut with an audible click.
“I’ve chosen you two because you are undoubtedly two of the best singers in the entire company. However, there are some things that can still be improved. So, for the next few months, you two will have joint vocal sessions in which you will learn to blend your voices and how to communicate with each other. Lu is also one of the best dancers in the company, so Jongdae, he will be teaching you. We’ll also train you on how to deal with media and behave at social functions.” The president smiled at the two shocked youths. “Congratulations, boys. It’s a true honor to have been chosen for this duo.”
Lu recovered first. “Thank you, sir,” he murmured, bowing his head. Jongdae followed suit.
The president handed them two thick folders. “In here are more details, as well as your new training schedules. Every once in a while, I might stop by to check on your progress, so work hard, boys.”
“Thank you for this honor.” Jongdae clutched the folder to his chest. “We’ll work hard!”
The president gave him an encouraging smile, and then his secretary came in to the office to show the Jongdae and Xiao Lu back down to the lobby.
“So…Boss already mentioned it, but I’m Kim Jongdae.” Jongdae tucked his folder under his arm and thrust his hand out at Lu, who smiled and shook.
“And I’m Xiao Lu.”
They shared an awkward smile while they valiantly ignored the secretary in the elevator with them as she laughed at them.
“It’s already noon,” she said kindly, after a few moments of tension. “Why don’t you two head out, grab lunch, and spend some time getting to know each other?”
Jongdae gave her a relieved smile and turned to Lu. “That sounds like a good idea. Do you want to go?”
Lu grinned back at him. “I haven’t been in Seoul for very long. Maybe you can show me around?”
And thus began the start of a (quite literally) beautiful relationship.
April 28, 2009
Jongdae snorted with laughter and flopped back on to Lu’s bed. “Man, what a waste of a pretty face.”
“Huh?” Lu blinked at him in confusion from where he was seated on the floor, a binder of sheet music balanced on his knees.
“When you laugh, your eyes get super wide and your lips pull back...you look like a turkey,” Jongdae snickered.
“I get that a lot.” Lu gave him a faint smile, and Jongdae frowned.
“Hey, I didn’t mean anything by it. You’re still beautiful, even when you’re laughing.”
“Beautiful?”
“I mean manly. Very, very manly.” Jongdae hastily corrected himself; he’d been there the last time Lu had been called pretty by Kim Junmyeon, a close friend of his. Junmyeon had gotten out of the ordeal with a black eye and a broken heart. The only good thing that had come out of the event was that everyone, Junmyeon especially, knew to never call Lu pretty.
“That’s what I thought,” Lu snorted.
They sat in silence for a few minutes, until Jongdae asked again. “Lu?”
“Yeah?” Lu finally looked over at him.
“You realize that we’re going to debut next month.”
“No way,” Lu said sarcastically. “Of course I realized you dumb butt, our debut has been taking up every moment of our lives for the past few months.”
“It all seems like it’s happening too fast.”
“We’ve been training for nine months since that initial meeting, Jongdae. It seems like everything is going too slow to me.” Luhan flipped to the next page in the binder.
“You’ve been with the company longer than I have. Maybe that’s why it seems slow to you.”
“I guess I’ve been here twice as long as you, huh? You haven’t even been here a full year yet.”
Jongdae rubbed at the back of his neck and then folded his arms over his chest. “Yeah, I guess so.”
They lapsed back into silence again, and Jongdae slowly began drifting off to sleep to the melody that Lu was humming softly.
“Jongdae?”
“What?” Jongdae made a sleepy disgruntled noise and opened one eye to glare over at Lu.
Lu looked decidedly unrepentant. “How do you feel about our debut concept? And our song? I mean…”
“I hate it. But what can we do? The song itself sounds normal enough; maybe we’ll get a super positive response from people who only hear it on the radio.”
“But most people who hear it on the radio will probably look up the music video…”
Jongdae sighed heavily and rolled on to his side so that he was facing Lu. “Maybe a video about two chickens falling in love will be weird enough that people love it, or maybe the company just wants us to fail. I don’t know, but I’ll be happy to be able to get on the stage, at least once, and sing my heart out to thousands of people who want to hear me.”
Lu’s eyes softened, and he reached over to lace his fingers with Jongdae’s. “Of course.”
Jongdae squeezed their hands together for a moment, and then closed his eyes. “Will you wake me up fifteen minutes before our next vocal session?”
“Sure.”
Lu waited until Jongdae fell asleep before he leaned over to brush a soft kiss against the back of Jongdae’s hand.
One month later, Lu and Jongdae were huddled in front of a laptop in Jongdae’s room.
“Is this real?”
“Shut up. Of course it’s real,” Lu huffed and knocked his elbow into Jongdae’s side. He refreshed the page on his laptop again and groaned in annoyance. “Is the company trying to fuck with us? They said that they would post the video at midnight!”
Jongdae looked down at the bottom corner of Lu’s screen and felt a twinge of nervousness when he saw the time.
“It’s 12:01. Oh my God, Lu, what if this was all just a giant joke, and the Big Boss is just sitting up in his office laughing his head off?!”
“Why would they spend millions of dollars just to play a prank on us?” Lu refreshed the page again and tried to stay calm. “Let’s wait a few more minutes.”
“Okay.” Jongdae muttered as he subconsciously began chewing on his nails.
Lu glanced over and gently knocked Jongdae’s hand away from his mouth. “The stylistsa are going to kill you if you mess up your nails. You know that our opening shot for the debut stage is of your hands holding the mic.”
“Sorry.” A hint of red spread across the bridge of Jongdae’s nose.
“Whatever. It doesn’t matter…Especially if the company never posts the fucking video, damn it!” Luhan refreshed the YouTube page again with a hiss of frustration.
At last, after a profusely apologetic text message from their manager and ten more minutes of waiting, the video appeared on the company’s website.
“Should we watch it?”
“You want to see that crap again?” Jongdae wrinkled his nose, considerably cheered up now that the video was posted, and they were truly, officially debuted. “Let’s not. Let’s get drunk instead!”
“We have our debut stage tomorrow morning,” Lu rolled his eyes.“We don’t have to get that drunk. Come on, I even brought wine,” Jongdae coaxed. “Just a little bit, please?”
Lu sighed. “Fine, let’s get drunk.” He got off the bed and grabbed two mugs from his dresser top. Jongdae grinned and pulled out the wine from his bag and popped the cap off, pouring a generous amount into both cups.
They did end up getting a little too tipsy and decided to watch their music video. The very sight of the opening scene promptly sobered them up, and Lu kicked Jongdae out of his room to get some sleep, carefully reminding his fellow singer to rehydrate himself before going to bed.
November 8, 2009
Lu and Jongdae sat in the back of a French restaurant shoveling food down their throats for a quick lunch before their next schedule.
“I still can’t believe that we did it,” Jongdae said in awe. “How come people liked that crap?”
“The song itself was pretty good, I guess.” Lu reached over and stole one of Jongdae’s carrots with his chopsticks, casually knocking his ankle against Jongdae’s. “What I still don’t understand is why your stage name is Chen when we’re promoting as a Korean ballad duo.”
Jongdae shrugged, and retaliated by stealing one of Lu’s mushrooms. He popped it into his mouth and shot Lu a satisfied look when he pouted at him. “Don’t ask me, our management is nuts.”
“They’re probably only doing this to us because we’re nuts too.”
“I like practical jokes,” Jongdae sniffed. “With an emphasis on “practical”.”
“Yes, you were very practical when you decided that it was a good idea for you to try and put ice down Yifan’s shirt when you’re a foot shorter than him,” Lu said drily.
Jongdae blushed. “I was standing on a table! It was fool proof!”
“Until he turned around, and you were so shocked that you poured the ice over his head instead of down his back,” Lu snickered.
“That was one time! It would have been fool proof if Junmyeon hadn’t stopped making moon eyes at Yifan,” Jongdae muttered crossly.
Lu stilled at his side, and Jongdae glanced over at him in surprise. “What?”
“Junmyeon likes Yifan?”
“Yeah, he’s liked him for ages! You didn’t know?”
“Wait, but if Junmyeon likes Yifan…does Yifan like him back?” Lu frowned and reached over to swipe another piece of carrot.
Jongdae sighed. “It’s hard to say. Yifan always tells us about his girlfriend that he had in Canada, but Junmyeon also had a girlfriend in high school, so it doesn’t mean much.”
“Poor Junmyeon.”
“Yeah, he’s feeling kind of down.”
“Now I feel bad that I punched him in the face.”
“That was ages ago and he doesn’t hold it against you. Don’t worry.” Jongdae tapped his chopsticks against Luhan’s bowl impatiently. “Come on, hurry up, we have to get back to our Mandarin session soon.”
“I’m your teacher; we can be a little late.”
“Lu.”
“Alright, alright.” Lu hastily started scooping rice into his mouth. “Although, I have to ask again. How do you feel about our next comeback concept?”
Jongdae grimaced. “Lu, it’s a song about electric eels. Doesn’t that speak for itself?”
“We have an evil company,” Lu sighed.
“That, we do.”
May 15, 2010
Once again, Lu and Jongdae were shocked at how well their second comeback had went. They were two rising stars in the entertainment industry now, and all kinds of businesses were contacting them to sign contracts for modeling, advertisements, and much more. For the time being, they let the company handle whatever offers came their way and focused on their third concept.
They had just exited the company building when Lu glanced over at Jongdae. “Are you okay? You look a little green.”
Jongdae swayed slightly, and Lu instantly reached over and pulled him into a hug. “What is it?” he murmured softly as he rubbed Jongdae’s back soothingly. “What’s the matter?”
“The company…really wants us to fail this time, don’t they?”
By now, the fangirls had noticed that they were standing outside the building, and they gathered around to take pictures. Lu gritted his teeth. Couldn’t these girls see that all Jongdae needed was some private space? Nevertheless, he forced himself to soften his tone when he spoke to Jongdae. “Jongdae, we’ve already pulled off two ridiculous concepts. We can definitely do it a third time.”
“But what if people grow bored of us? What if this one is too weird? What if, after this, we can never recover our public image ever again?”
“Jongdae, you’re overthinking this. Management made this a short comeback era on purpose.” Lu tightened his grip on Jongdae’s waist, and the fangirls squealed in response. “Come on, let’s get in the cab, and we can talk some more.”
“They’ll see that I was crying,” Jongdae mumbled.
Lu sighed and lifted his sunglasses off of his forehead and jammed them on to Jongdae’s nose. “Come on.”
Jongdae sighed and followed him into the cab. Once they were safely behind the tinted windows, Jongdae took the glasses off and buried his face into Lu’s sleeve.
Lu reached around Jongdae’s shoulders to rub at the back of his neck. “Did your parents call you again? Is that what this is about?”
“Yeah.” Jongdae sniffed and drew away from Lu’s arm, rubbing at his eyes with the back of his hand. “Sorry, I think I got snot on your sleeve.”
Lu grimaced and began rummaging around in his bag for tissues. “What did they say this time?”
Jongdae had spilled the entire story about his parents on a particularly late night of vocal practice, back in the few months of training before their very first debut. Apparently, Jongdae’s parents had always supported Jongdae’s interest in singing. However, they had never fully understood why Jongdae had chosen to sign himself on with a large company; according to Jongdae, they believed that he would “grow out of his phase” over time and that he would settle down in a nice, respectable profession. Jongdae’s voice had overflowed with bitterness when he told Luhan about his parents’ attempts to persuade him to choose another career before he signed on with the company. They had been shocked, and then horrified, when they found out what he had done.
“They don’t like me running around Korea embarrassing myself in front of the entire population,” Jongdae sobbed. “And then-and then I told them about our next concept and they…”
“They weren’t happy.” Lu sighed heavily and handed over a pack of tissues to Jongdae, after taking one out to wipe at his sleeve with. “My family isn’t too happy with it either, to be honest.”
“They want to pull me out,” Jongdae said very quietly, his face hidden behind his hair as he stared down at his hands. “They don’t want me to do this.”
“We’ll only be crossdressing for a month…”
“They were very adamant.”
“You’re twenty-one years old, Jongdae; you can make decisions for yourself.”
“But a child will always want their parent’s approval, and you know how famous we are; it’s not like my parents can ignore our actions.”
“Then, are you going to pull out?” The cab stopped in front of their dorms, but neither of them made a move to get out.
“I don’t want to,” Jongdae admitted softly.
Lu sighed and reached down to unbuckle his seatbelt. “Then don’t. We only have to dress as mermaids for one month. It won’t be so bad, Jongdae.”
“That’s easy for you to say. You’re pretty like a girl,” Jongdae scoffed.
Lu reached out and pulled Jongdae out of the cab, smiling politely at their driver before slinging an arm around Jongdae’s neck and squeezing slightly. “What was that?”
“You’re beautiful, Lu. At least you’ll look good while this is happening.”
Lu sighed and loosened his grip. “Jongdae, when are you going to realize that you’re beautiful too?”
“Not like you.”
Lu groaned and let his arm fall from Jongdae’s neck. “You’re impossible.”
Jongdae chuckled softly as they got into the elevator. “Sorry.”
“Will you be alright? Do you want to stay in my room tonight?”
“I’ll be fine. And I’ll be spending most of the night talking to my parents, so…”
“Well, when you’re done, you can come sleep in my room if you want.”
Jongdae gave him a small smile. “Thanks, Lu.”
“No problem.” Lu stuffed his hands in his pockets as they walked down the hallway. “Good luck, Jongdae.”
“I’ll need it.” They entered their cozy apartment suite, and Jongdae headed towards his bedroom and opened the door. “See you tomorrow, Lu.”
“See ya.”
Lu stayed up until five in the morning, his ears straining for any sounds of argument coming from Jongdae’s room. At last, he fell asleep, his vision blurred with fatigue.
When he woke up at noon the next day, he was pleasantly surprised, and then very happy, to find Jongdae tucked under his chin, a slender arm carelessly slung over his waist.
December 12, 2010
“What happened to ‘If they throw another crazy concept at us, we’ll turn them down’?!”
“Don’t start yelling at me; you were going along with it too!”
Jongdae groaned, burying his face in his hands. “We’re doomed. We’re fucking doomed.”
“At least it’s tamer than the last one.”
“But it’s a longer period!”Jongdae wailed. “Lu, you realize that we are going to be promoting a concept centralized around tuna of all things, for four whole months!”
There was a polite knock on the door, and then it cracked open. “Is everything okay in here? I could hear you wailing.” Junmyeon’s face filled with concern when he saw Jongdae lying on the floor.
“Don’t mind Jongdae, he’s being overly dramatic.” Lu nudged Jongdae’s ribs with his foot. Jongdae whined in response and smushed his face further into the wood. “Come on, get up Jongdae.”
“Well, I’ll be in the practice room next door if you need me.” Junmyeon smiled uncertainly at them and left the room.
“Thanks.” Lu waited until the door clicked shut again before he plopped down on to the floor beside Jongdae. “You’re right. We’re doomed.”
“What do you think they’re going to do to us?” Jongdae peeked at Lu through his fingers.
“Maybe they’ll make us do our comeback stage in fish costumes.”
“Nah, they’d be too cheap for that…they’d make us reuse our old mermaid costumes from last time.”
“But then the fans would get mad,” Lu snorted.
“I think the fans would just burst into tears at the sight of those dreadful things,” Jongdae sighed and sniffled loudly.
“Hm.” Lu sighed and propped himself up on his elbows. “Jongdae, are you actually crying?”
“Shut up!” Jongdae sniffled and wiped his nose on his sleeve. He turned his head to glare at Lu, only to stiffen in shock when Lu’s face was barely an inch away. “Lu?”
“Yeah?” Lu didn’t make a move to back away, and neither did Jongdae.
“I…”
“Shut up, Jongdae.” Lu leaned forward and whoa they were kissing and this was kind of weird, but kind of good because they had really just spent their entire career flirting with each other and-
Jongdae’s internal rambling cut off abruptly when Lu withdrew and eyed on Jongdae speculatively. “Was that okay?”
“Um.” Jongdae blinked and licked his lips. “Uh.”
Lu burst into laughter, and Jongdae turned bright red. “Your laughing face is ugly,” he muttered under his breath.
Lu grinned and rolled on top of him. “And you’re beautiful,” he sing-songed. “My beautiful, beautiful Jongdae.”
Jongdae yelped and swatted at him. “Who’re you calling beautiful, huh?”
“Or better yet: my cute little otter,” Lu snickered down at him.
Junmyeon flinched and nearly dropped all of his music when he heard Lu shriek in the practice room next door. He shook his head and hurried down the corridor; he didn’t even want to know what Jongdae was doing to the poor man if he was screaming that loudly.
May 17, 2011
“Hey, we did it!” Jongdae beamed and waved his arms at Lu, narrowly missing the napkin holder on their table.
Lu flinched and glanced around the busy ice cream parlor to check if anyone had recognized them yet. When he didn’t see anyone looking their way, he sighed in relief and turned back to face Jongdae. “I’m not sure this is something we should be happy about…”
“At least we finally got brave enough to turn down the song about bubble gum,” Jongdae huffed.
“Yes, that’s all fine and dandy, except we have to cross-dress again,” Luhan sighed heavily. “And the director wants me to be the girl this time.”
“Yeah, well, at least it’s only for the music video. I’m glad that the board promised that we wouldn’t have to cross-dress for any of the live performances.”
“Me too,” Lu said quickly. “But I still don’t like it.”
“I am sorry about that,” Jongdae murmured softly. “But…it could be worse."
Lu held in his complaints when he saw Jongdae’s smile dim. Heknew that Jongdae’s parents still hadn’t fully recovered their pride from the mermaid concept a few years back. On the other hand, his own family was still rather embarrassed about it as well, but since it appeared to be some sort of taboo among everyone including fans, critics, and producers, they had gotten used to tip-toeing around the topic. Lu hoped that they would forgive him for this in the future.
“What do you think they’ll make us wear?” Jongdae happily licked some cookies ‘n cream ice cream off of his spoon.
“Probably something absolutely hideous,” Lu grunted.
“Don’t be such a downer, we might get nice outfits this time. The last concept was alright, wasn’t it?”
“There was way too much pink,” Lu sighed. “It was so emasculating.”
“Ah, that’s right, you want to make a manly image for yourself.” Jongdae shook his head and sighed. “Well, Lu, somehow I doubt you’re going to achieve that anytime soon.”
“Why’s that?”
“You’re sitting in an ice cream shop eating rainbow sherbet,” Jongdae pointed out. “And I’m sure a couple of fans have caught sight of us by now.”
“…I hate you.”
“Love you too.”
And they picked up their ice cream and ran for it when they saw a group of girls wading through the crowded shop towards their table.
July 31, 2012
“We’re going on a world tour, Lu, aren’t you excited?”
“Why did it have to be with this album though?” Lu groaned and buried his face in Jongdae’s neck, grinning in victory when Jongdae flailed away while whining about being ticklish. “This song isn’t even that good.”
“You’re just upset because that emcee called you out on your feminine side yesterday.” Jongdae rubbed at his neck.
“I’m manly, I tell you!”
“Of course, Lu.”
Lu made a face at Jongdae. “I don’t want to go touring the world with giant sea cucumbers dancing behind me.”
“Oh, Lu, it could be so much worse. We could’ve gone on our world tour with our mermaid concept from a few years ago.”
Lu shuddered. “That’s true. Let’s never go back to those days. Ever.”
“I think the sea cucumbers were actually pretty tame this time. We didn’t even have to do anything weird.”
“Our music video was still all fucked up, as usual.”
“Yeah, but at least there was no cross-dressing this era. There was no pastel or neon colored clothing scheme. There were no strange sound effects or animal noises. All in all, I think we did pretty well.”
“Was that why you didn’t protest too much when we were offered the choice between this song and the other song about yoga mats?”
“Pretty much. Also, you know how flexible I am.” Jongdae made a face.
“You’re flexible enough for me.” Lu leered at him, and Jongdae shoved his face away with one hand, only to let Lu take his hand off his face and drape it over his shoulders.
“Come on, let’s take a picture and send it to Junmyeon, he’s probably feeling lonely since Yifan went back to Canada for vacation.”
“Really?” Lu wrapped his arm around Jongdae’s waist and put his fingers up in the victory sign by his face. “I thought Yifan invited him to go with him.”
“But then Junmyeon told him that he hadn’t come out to his parents, and Yifan told him that he could only go if he told his parents about their relationship.”
“Oh. How’d that work out?”
“Junmyeon hasn’t told them yet.”
“Man, Junmyeon has it rough.” Lu waited patiently while Jongdae fiddled around with the camera on his phone.
“Well, it’s about time he told them. Junmyeon’s been hiding it for so long, and he and Yifan are getting pretty serious now.”
“Well, he does have a lot of reasons not to say anything. Are his parents…not supportive of him?” Lu’s eyebrows creased in anxiety; he and Junmyeon had gotten close over the years (although not as close as Junmyeon and Jongdae), and he was worried for his friend.
“I don’t know. He doesn’t really talk about them,” Jongdae said as he snapped the picture, and then sent it off to Junmyeon. “Hopefully our selca will cheer him up a little bit.”
“Yeah.” Lu settled back down on the bed. “I still feel bad about punching him in the face.”
“Well, you thought he was bullying you. Anyways, it was in the past, and he forgave you a long time ago. No worries.”
“Hm.” Lu splayed his fingers over Jongdae’s stomach and tapped out an absent-minded melody. “You know, I am actually excited about our world tour.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. I’m going to see the world with you. What’s not to be excited about?”
“You sap.”
“But you love it.”
“I do,” Jongdae smiled at him affectionately, putting a hand over Lu’s.
“I love you too.”
Lu howled in agony when Jongdae kicked him off of the bed for being too cheesy.
September 15, 2014
“Man, we’ve been doing this for a long time now.”
“Yeah, the fifth year anniversary for The Deer and The Otter is coming up pretty soon,” Jongdae yawned.
Lu gently pushed him to go sit down, and returned with a mug of warm milk.
“That’s only going to make me sleepier.”
“You need all the sleep you can get. You’ve been so tired lately.” Luhan brushed some hair out of Jongdae’s eyes affectionately.
“I guess the performance at Music Core really wore me out,” Jongdae yawned again, and he ended up accepting the mug.
“You’re more like a kitten than an otter.” Lu watched with interest as Jongdae took a dainty sip of milk.
“I like to swim,” Jongdae shrugged. “Cats don’t like to swim.”
“How was the company supposed to know that?”
“They know a lot more about us than we think. That’s why it took Junmyeon seven years of training to debut, before they were convinced that he had enough self-control to be able to focus on work before his own feelings.”
“Well, they were wrong about that, weren’t they? Junmyeon and Yifan still got together.”
“They were meant to be together,” Jongdae yawned once again and set the mug down. “Nothing was going to stop them, and I think that the company finally realized that and just let it happen.”
“Were we meant to be together?”
Jongdae blinked in surprise. “Well…”
“Would we still have gotten together if I hadn’t kissed you that one time?” Lu pressed.
“I think so,” Jongdae said at last.
“Hm.” Lu got to his feet.
“Lu? What’re you doing?” Jongdae blinked in confusion when Lu got up, only to kneel down in front of Jongdae.
“Kim Jongdae, we haven’t been together for an extremely long time. But, I love you. And my future is with you, and I want to be by your side, watching over you and loving you. Will you marry me?”
Jongdae’s face went bright pink, and then pale white, and then bright pink and then white again. He opened his mouth to answer, and Lu gave him a hopeful look-
Until Jongdae passed out in his seat, his eyes rolling up into the back of his head.
Jongdae woke up feeling slightly woozy. “Huh?”
“Jongdae!” Lu’s warm hands were gently lifting him up and supporting him until he was sitting upright against the headboard. “How’re you feeling?”
“A little dizzy.”
“Here, drink some water.” A cool glass was pressed into his hands.
Jongdae grunted and lifted the glass to his lips. “Why does my head hurt so much?” he grumbled under his breath.
“Maybe you should go see a doctor.” A warm hand pressed against his forehead, and Jongdae melted into the gentle touch.
“No, I’ll be fine. Just give me a minute.”
“If you’re sure.”
Finally, Jongdae gathered up the fortitude to look over at Lu’s worried face. “Hey.”
“Hey, yourself.” Lu’s shoulders slumped with relief, and he carefully took the water glass out of Jongdae’s hands. “How’s your head?”
“It’s fine.”
“But you said it hurt.”
“Well, it’s gone now.”
“Maybe we should go to the hospital…” Lu tentatively withdrew his hands.
“No, no. I’m fine,” Jongdae said insistently, and reached out to bring Lu’s hands back.
“If you’re sure.”
Jongdae sighed. “Really, I’m sure, Lu.” Then, he hesitated. “But…”
“What?”
“Did you really mean what you said? About-about marrying me?”
“Yes, I did mean what I said.”
Jongdae gave Lu a look. “You really have some things to learn about timing. You can’t just spring a proposal on me when I’m half asleep and without any buildup.”
“Sorry.” Lu looked decidedly unrepentant, but also extremely nervous.
“I need some time to think about it,” Jongdae sighed softly. He took Lu’s hand in his, and tried to convey his feelings with his eyes, even if the right words wouldn’t come out of his mouth. “It’s not that I’m rejecting you right away or anything-but it’s such a big decision.”
“I understand.” Lu licked his lips in embarrassment. “I’m sorry. I didn’t think you would be so shocked.”
“I really wasn’t expecting it though,” Jongdae laughed softly.
They sat in awkward silence for a few moments. “Uh, well. I’m going to, um, call the manager.” Jongdae swung his legs over the edge of the bed and fumbled around for his phone. “I’m going to ask him for some time off to think about-to think about your proposal.” Jongdae felt a small blush working its way up his face.
Lu watched him with an unreadable expression on his face. “Okay.”
“Are you going to sleep now?”
“I might stay up for a bit and watch some drama re-runs on television.”
“I think Channel 89 usual runs some Chinese dramas,” Jongdae said helpfully. “Do you want me to go outside?”
“Nah, I’m fine if you stay in here.”
“Okay.” Jongdae lifted the phone to his ear as Lu got up to grab the TV remote. The soothing sounds of a drama soundtrack and lilting Mandarin played in the background as Jongdae waited for the call to go through.
“Hello?”
“Hey, Kyungsoo.”
“What is it, Jongdae?”
“Were you sleeping?”
“Yes. Now, what is it?”
Jongdae smiled slightly. Even though Kyungsoo was usually vaguely grumpy all the time, Jongdae only found it endearing. “Um…well…how do I say this? I, uh-“
“Spit it out, Jongdae.”
“Lu proposed to me!” Jongdae was extremely aware of Lu, who was sitting on the bed, and was looking as if he was trying very hard not to listen to Jongdae and Kyungsoo’s conversation.
Kyungsoo was silent for a moment. “Um…Congratulations?”
“The thing is, I haven’t responded yet. I was wondering if there’s a way for me to get some time to think about it.”
Kyungsoo didn’t say anything for a few seconds. “Jongdae, you’re so stupid.”
“Huh?”
“I’ll ask management about it,” Kyungsoo sighed. “I’ll call you back in a few hours, but I do hope that you know what you and Lu are getting yourselves into by asking the company for help.”
“Oh.” It was Jongdae’s turn to sit in silence. “Well…they knew we were dating. Why would they be mad?”
“It shouldn’t be too much of an issue, they just like to be informed before anyone does anything…drastic.”
“Um.” Jongdae cast a nervous glance at Lu. “Well, we’ll deal with any scolding the company wants to give us, but can you please ask them? It’s really important. I know I won’t be able to perform well unless I get time to think.”
“You underestimate me, Jongdae.” Kyungsoo sounded miffed. “You’re right, this shouldn’t be too much of a stretch. I’ll call the company and get back to you in a few hours, okay Jongdae? They should be pretty nice about it, it’s not like this hasn’t happened before.”
“Thanks, Kyungsoo.”
“No problem. Now go to sleep.”
“Okay.” Jongdae hung up from the phone and crawled back on to the bed, settling down next to Lu.
“What did Kyungsoo say?”
“First, he basically told me that you really should’ve told the company that I might need some time off in advance.”
Lu looked thoughtful. “I guess I should have. It would have been easier to schedule around this…”
“Well, whatever. He also said that it wouldn’t be a huge deal.” Jongdae leaned against Lu’s arm and turned his attention to the crying woman on the television screen. “He said he’ll call back in a few hours to let me know how much time we’re getting.”
“Okay.”
They both stared at the screen for a few minutes, neither one really absorbed with the events unfolding in the drama.
“Jongdae?”
“Yes?”
“Do you want me to be here, if the company gives us time off?”
Jongdae hesitated. “I…don’t know.”
“There are places I can stay. I can spend some quality time with Kyungsoo, or someone else, if you want me to.”
“Thanks,” Jongdae gave him a small smile. “I…I think I do want you to stay though, if that’s okay.” Jongdae swallowed hard. “I know it’s selfish, but…I want you to stay.”
“Then I’ll stay.” Lu gripped Jongdae’s hand for a moment, before he let go and settled back into the pillows. “Are you actually going to watch with me, or are you going to sleep?”
“Both. I’ll watch with you until I fall asleep.”
“Alright.”
Jongdae nestled into Lu’s elbow. “Don’t move your arm, or you’ll hit me in the face.”
Lu rolled his eyes. “Good night, Jongdae.”
Jongdae let out a sleepy noise of reply and closed his eyes as the events of the day finally caught up with him.
The next morning, Jongdae was woken up by the sound of the Pororo theme song blasting through the room. “Hello?”
“Jongdae.”
“Kyungsoo!” Jongdae hastily sat up in bed and looked over to the side to see that Lu had already woken up and was watching him with sleepy eyes.
“Management was not pleased that this was how you guys decided to break the news. Nevertheless, they say congratulations, and they’re giving you a two week hiatus in your activities so that you get some time to think.”
“Thanks, Kyungsoo. God, what would I do without you?”
“You would be just fine, Kim Jongdae.” Kyungsoo’s voice softened marginally. “Don’t stress out too much about it. No matter what you decide, Lu will still love you.”
“You’re being uncharacteristically sweet.”
“Just remember that, Jongdae. I know you overthink things sometimes.” Kyungsoo cleared his throat, and then his usually brusque tone returned. “Now, Lu will also be taking this two week break so that no one tries to ask him any questions. The story is that you got sick, and you can’t sing. Alright?”
“Alright. Thanks again, Kyungsoo. Get some sleep.”
“You’re welcome, Jongdae. I’ll drop by at the end of your break. Goodbye.”
“Bye.” Jongdae hung up the call and lay back down on the bed.
“What’d he say?” Lu slurred as he leaned over to rest his head on Jongdae’s shoulder.
“We’re getting a two week break.”
“Mmm.” Lu nestled further into Jongdae’s side. “Go back to sleep.”
“But-”
“Sleep, Jongdae.”
“Alright.” Jongdae stilled and waited for Lu to fall asleep before he carefully rolled out of bed and tucked the sheets around Lu’s shoulders. He stumbled into the bathroom and splashed water over his face, and he grimaced when hair stuck to his forehead. He had a long day full of planning and thinking ahead of him.
Usually, he had a lot of fun picking out disguises with Lu whenever they went out, but it looked like he was going to have to do it on his own today. In the end, Jongdae settled for the burgundy scarf that he draped over his head and plain sunglasses that covered his eyes. He pulled on an inconspicuous black jacket and stuffed his shoes in a pair of sneakers before quietly stepping outside.
He carefully snuck out of the building, quietly slipping through crowd of fans who were waiting for them to come down by sneaking into the center of a group of American tourists and heading out the front doors. He smiled to himself and broke off from the group, his eyes busily searching the signs for a place for breakfast. He always derived a certain satisfaction when he successfully snuck past anyone, be it his fans, or his family from during his high school days.
He idly debated whether or not he should buy something for Lu, but then decided against it. Whenever they had a day off, Lu refused to get out of bed before one in the afternoon. Jongdae didn’t imagine that today would be an exception.
Jongdae walked briskly into a small café. The girl at the counter gave his sunglasses a skeptical look, but let it slide and handed him a pastry and a coffee. Jongdae saw her turn to her phone as he turned away, and he hastily scurried out of the shop and headed for the nearest subway station. He needed some space to try and clear his head.
September 28, 2014
Jongdae sat down on the floor and leaned back against the wall. He pulled his knees up to his chest and carefully selected the correct contact on his phone before putting it up to his ear.
“Hello?”
“Junmyeon.”
“Jongdae? What’s up?” There was a sound of something crashing to the floor in the background and Junmyeon sighed heavily.
“…Is now a bad time?”
“No, it’s fine, Yifan can deal with it. Right, Yifan?” Jongdae could vividly imagine the white-hot glare Junmyeon was shooting at his fellow singer, and the frightened nod Yifan gave back to him. “You were saying, Jongdae?”
“I need your help.” Jongdae slid down against the wall and put the phone on speaker so that he didn’t have to hold it against his ear. Lu was out, visiting one of his old friends how happened to be in the city for a couple days, so Jongdae didn’t have to worry about him eavesdropping on the conversation.
“What’s up? Does this have anything to do with your two week hiatus?”
“Yeah, it does, actually.” Jongdae stretched his arms over his head. They were halfway through the hiatus period, and Jongdae was starting to get a little bit nervous and quite a bit desperate for advice.
“Well, what happened?”
“Wait, are you still at the studio?”
“No, I’m actually at home.”
Jongdae blinked. “You’re at home? Really?”
“Yep.” There was a sound of a door shutting, and Junmyeon’s voice came out clearer over the phone.
“Why is Yifan with you? Isn’t he still in China seeing his mom?”
“No, he’s having dinner with me.”
“He came back for you?”
“It’s not as dramatic as that, Jongdae.” Jongdae snickered at the trace of a smile in Junmyeon’s voice. “Anyways, you didn’t call to talk about me. What’s up with you, Jongdae?”
“Oh. That. Well, uh…”
“Don’t overthink it, Jongdae. Just spit it out.”
“Don’t explode, okay?”
“I can’t make any promises.” Junmyeon’s voice took on a note of worry. “Jongdae, what happened? Did you get in trouble?”
“No, no! It’s not something bad. It’s just uh-Lu proposed to me, two weeks ago.”
“Oh!” Junmyeon gasped in surprise. “Why-Jongdae! Congratulations!”
“Well, there is a catch.”
“Let me guess. You told him you had to think about it.”
“You got me.” Jongdae sighed and stared down at his phone screen. “I don’t know what to do.”
“Well, I obviously can’t make your decisions for you, but I hope I can help.” Junmyeon sighed softly into the phone. “Honestly, sometimes you are so stupid, Kim Jongdae.”
“Kyungsoo said the same thing,” Jongdae mused. “I still don’t get what you guys mean.”
“Case in point.” Junmyeon laughed softly at Jongdae’s squawk of indignation. “Anyways, I bet you’ve been doing a lot of thinking.”
“Yep. Yes, sir. Thinking day and night twenty-four seven. It got so bad that Lu ended up leaving to go visit one of his friends all day today.”
“You kept him there with you?” Junmyeon let out a noise of despair. “Oh, Jongdae.”
“I thought that if he was here, I would be able to think more clearly,” Jongdae muttered. “I was wrong.”
“Well, I’m sure having him around probably did help you with some things,” Junmyeon said gently. “It’s fine; I wasn’t trying to imply that it was a bad thing. Anyways, back to overthinking. Let’s try something different, okay?”
“Sure.”
“I want you to close your eyes.”
“They’re closed.” Jongdae shifted and got himself more comfortable on the floor.
“Now, think about the first time you met Lu.”
Jongdae smiled softly as he remembered their very awkward elevator ride. “Yeah, I’ve got it.”
“Okay, great. Now, think of something you guys did recently together.”
Jongdae thought about the car ride home from their Music Core performance, and how warm Lu’s head had been against his shoulder. “Okay.”
“Now, this next one is a little tougher. I want you to imagine yourself three years from now. What are you doing?”
Jongdae’s brow furrowed slightly as he thought about it. “Well, I’m still under this company. By now, I imagine that I’ve landed an emcee job on some music show.”
“Okay, good, good. Now, where is Lu?”
Jongdae’s fingers twitched in surprise. “Well, Lu and I got the job together…or he’s filming for a movie by then.”
“Is The Deer and The Otter still together at this point?”
“Definitely.”
“Now, think about yourself ten years from now. What are you doing?”
“Ten years…” Jongdae pondered. “I guess I have my own radio show now, with Lu.”
“Is the Deer and the Otter still together?”
“I don’t know if we’re actively promoting now, but we’re still famous.”
“Okay. So now, think about what you’ve just told me. In the future, you see Lu and yourself always staying side by side. What does that say about you?”
Jongdae opened his eyes and glared at his phone. “That’s the point, I don’t know!”
“Don’t make this any more complex that it has to be,” Junmyeon sighed. “You can imagine a happy, comfortable future with Lu, doesn’t that speak for itself?”
Jongdae bit his lip. “I guess…”
“What is it that you’re so afraid of? Are you nervous about finances?”
“Not really.”
“Is it living together?”
“Definitely not.”
“Is it the public’s reaction?”
Jongdae frowned. “I am afraid of that…but that’s not a huge factor.”
“So it’s not finances, it’s not peer pressure, and it’s not living together. Jongdae, every relationship has its risks. This is one of them. You need to trust that Lu will always love you and always take care of you.”
“But what if he doesn’t? Aren’t we too young to be doing this?”
Junmyeon scoffed. “I call bullshit on you. Don’t be afraid just because you think that you have to be afraid. If you want to marry Lu, do it.”
“So you think I should marry him.”
“I think he has the ability to make you happy and to make you feel loved.”
“I…I guess so.”
Junmyeon’s voice gentled. “Like I said, Jongdae, don’t make this any more complicated than it needs to be. You and Lu are madly in love. Don’t let your tendency to overthink things get in the way of that.”
“Okay, Junmyeon.”
“I wasn’t too harsh, was I?”
Jongdae laughed. “Nah, no worries. That was good, I needed to hear that.”
“I’m glad. I hope that this helped, Jongdae.”
“It did. Thanks a lot.”
Junmyeon hummed softly into the speaker, and Jongdae felt the tension slowly melt from his shoulders. He grinned devilishly and picked up his phone, climbing to his feet so that he could go over to settle down on the couch. “Now it’s your turn. What’s this about Yifan coming over for dinner?”
“I said that it’s not as important as you make it sound! And speaking of which, I should get back to him…”
Jongdae ended the call and sat back in his seat, a small smile playing at the corners of his mouth.
September 29, 2014
“Lu?”
“What is it, Jongdae?” Lu looked up from his box of take-out.
“We’re resuming activities tomorrow…” Jongdae trailed off uncertainly.
“That’s right.” Lu resumed eating in an attempt to appear nonchalant. “And?”
“I’ve been thinking really hard about your proposal.”
“Oh.” Lu set his chopsticks down and swallowed the food in his mouth. He didn’t want to choke on anything when Jongdae finally let him know his decision. “And?”
Jongdae took a deep breath. He could do this. He wasn’t going to pass out again. “And I…I…”
Lu reached out and squeezed his hand encouragingly.
Jongdae flinched, and his carefully planned speech flew out of his head. “Yes!” Jongdae squeaked out.
He was totally unprepared for when Lu launched himself across the table and pulled him into a bear hug. “Oh my God, Lu, the food-“
“Shut up and just let me enjoy this,” Lu muttered, burying his face into Jongdae’s neck and inhaling his scent.
“Okay.” Jongdae patted Lu’s back and gave up on trying to look over his shoulders to see if food had gotten all over the carpet or not.
Lu leaned back and began fumbling around in his jacket pockets. “Hold on-I’ve got it somewhere.”
“Huh?”
At last, Lu pulled out a small black box and popped it open to reveal two silver bands. He carefully put one on Jongdae’s ring finger and let Jongdae pick up the other one and put it on his hand. “Do you like them?”
“They’re wonderful, Lu.” Jongdae reached up and hooked his arm around Lu’s neck to drag him down for a kiss. “Wonderful, just like you. I’m sorry I had to put you through all this.”
“Don’t apologize.” Lu grinned down at him and laced their fingers together. “If it meant that you would say yes in the end, then I would go through it a thousand times over.”
Jongdae laughed softly and squeezed their hands for a moment. Then, he straightened up, carefully, sliding Lu off to the side so that he could get a look at the table. Miraculously enough, nothing was overturned, and Lu gave him a sheepish look.
“I was excited, okay?”
“You have to be careful. What if everything spilled to the ground?”
Lu pouted. “But it didn’t.”
Jongdae rolled his eyes and slung his arm over Lu’s shoulders. “This time.”
Lu grinned cheekily and opened his mouth to say something, only to get cut off by a sharp knock on their door.
“It’s probably Kyungsoo. He said that he would come by.”
“I’ll get it.” Lu padded over to the entryway and unlocked the door. The door opened to reveal Kyungsoo standing with a blank expression his face, only for it to transform into one of dry affection when Lu flung himself forward and started shrieking about how Jongdae had accepted.
“Congratulations,” Kyungsoo said, shoving Lu back into the room and kicking the door shut behind him. Jongdae gave him an embarrassed smile and got up to get an extra plate. “Are you hungry, Kyungsoo?”
“I am, actually.” Kyungsoo took off his shoes while gently trying to detach Lu from his shoulders. “What’re you guys eating?”
“Noodles.”
Kyungsoo attempted to get his arms out of his coat sleeves while Lu continued to cling to him. “Well, now that the entire building probably knows that you’re engaged,” Kyungsoo said drily, “I suppose that I should inform the company.”
“We can do that, you don’t have to do all the work Kyungsoo.” Jongdae came back to the table with an extra plate and pair of chopsticks, and he began scooping noodles on to the plate.
“Somehow, I don’t think anything coherent is going to come out of this one,” Kyungsoo bopped Lu’s head lightly and smirked when Lu whined in complaint. “And judging by the way things are now, you won’t be able to get two words out without turning into a very embarrassed tomato. It’ll be easier if I handle things. Don’t worry about it Jongdae.”
“Thank you.” Jongdae gave him a grateful smile and kicked Lu off of Kyungsoo’s shoulders before handing him a serving of noodles. “Eat up. What’s our schedule for tomorrow, by the way?”
“Well, now that this happened, the company will have to discuss when they plan to reveal your engagement and all manners of interviews and other things, so I expect that you two will get a few more days off.” Kyungsoo hastily slurped up the last of the noodles and set his chopsticks down while Jongdae and Lu stared wide-eyed at his empty plate. “I should probably head over and talk to the president now.”
“But you just got here!”
“No, there’s no rest for a busy man like me, especially with you two hooligans lying around,” Kyungsoo winked as he stuffed his feet back into his shoes. “’Bye, you two.”
“Good bye!” Jongdae called out, a little shell-shocked by Kyungsoo’s whirlwind arrival and departure from the room.
The door clicked shut, and Lu stalked over to sit in Jongdae’s lap. “So,” he said with a wicked glint in his eyes. “We might get a few more days off, huh?”
“Yeah, that’ll be nice.”
“So you won’t mind if I do this?” A sly hand slipped under the waistband of Jongdae’s sweats, and he went bright red.
“Lu…what if we don’t get the extra time off?”
“I don’t care.” Lu’s hand tightened, and Jongdae’s breath hitched.
“Then I guess I don’t care either,” he laughed.
The next morning, Jongdae woke up to the shrill tone of his phone going off. “What?”
“Turn on the news,” Kyungsoo said crisply. “Management has extended your hiatus for another three days, and they want to have a talk with you tomorrow at 2 P.M.. Don’t be late.”
“Thanks, Kyungsoo.”
“No problem.”
Jongdae ended the call and fumbled hazily around for the remote. Lu made a noise of discontent. “Why are you squirming?”
“Where’s the remote?”
Lu groaned and rolled over, fumbling around on his side of the bed. At last, he located it under the lamp, and he pressed the power button. “Why am I turning the TV on?”
“Kyungsoo said to check out the news.”
“Okay.” Lu flipped through the channels, until they finally hit the right station.
The screen was emblazoned with Xiao Lu and Kim Jongdae’s engagement confirmed by company. The picture that a tabloid magazine had snapped of Lu kissing Jongdae’s forehead was slapped underneath the headline, and a very ecstatic anchorwoman was relaying the story.
Jongdae shared a happy smile with Lu, and he rolled over to nestle against his chest. “Turn it off and go back to sleep,” he muttered.
Lu complied and set the remote aside, returning to throw one arm over Jongdae’s waist while the other came under his pillow to support his head.
Jongdae let out a soft sigh of contentment when the warm metal of Lu’s ring brushed against a patch of exposed skin on his waist, and he lifted his arm so that their fingers were intertwined.
He wasn’t planning on letting Lu go for a very, very long time.
Fin
By: krishoislove
Rating: pg
Written for chenpionships 2014! Happy birthday Jongdae~
I’ll Take Care of You (So Take Care With My Heart)
August 3, 2008
Jongdae fidgeted nervously and fought the urge to sit on his hands as he waited for the president of his company to show up. What kind of impression would he make if he was sitting on his hands like he was five years old? The secretary who had lead him up to the office had hinted that the Big Boss was going to let him debut, and he didn’t want to screw his chances over by leaving a bad impression. Jongdae vaguely wondered if it was going to be a solo debut, but then dismissed the thought. He wasn’t talented or charismatic enough to hold out on his own. He would probably be in a larger group, with maybe three or four other trainees.
Jongdae gazed around the office in an attempt to distract himself, his eyes glancing over the shiny trophies in the glass case on the other side of the table. He looked at the big names emblazoned on the plaques and sighed heavily. How was he going to help add to the achievements of the company? He was only nineteen. He thought he would have a little more time to hone his skills before he was thrust out on to the big stage.
The office door burst open, and Jongdae shot to his feet, extending a shaky hand to his boss. “Good morning, sir.”
The man smiled at him, and Jongdae blinked in surprise when he noticed the other man standing behind his boss. The guy was dressed for a formal meeting with the company president-blazer, tie, dress pants, the works-but what caught Jongdae’s attention were the man’s eyes. They were big and round, and absolutely beautiful.
“Good morning Jongdae.” The president’s voice held a hint of amusement when he saw how Jongdae stared behind him. “Have a seat, please.”
Jongdae sat down in his seat while his boss circled around the desk to settle heavily in his chair on the other side. The other guy hesitated for a moment before coming to sit in the seat beside Jongdae, and Jongdae gave him a polite smile. There was nothing wrong with being welcoming right? Especially if being welcoming got him on the path to a point in time where he would have a chance to make out with the guy…Jongdae blinked, and forced himself to focus on his boss. He could think about making out with Pretty Eyes later.
“Jongdae, this is Xiao Lu. Lu, this is Kim Jongdae. Now, you two haven’t met before because Lu recently transferred to this branch from our Chinese training center. Nevertheless, I hope you two will get along.” Jongdae watched with interest as the man fixed a stern gaze on Pretty Eyes-Xiao Lu. “Also, Jongdae, don’t worry, Lu is fluent in Korean, so you two will be able to communicate just fine.” Jongdae looked over at Lu, who looked steadily back at him for a few moments before turning his gaze back towards their boss.
“Now, I’ve been thinking about this for a while. Surely, you’ve the rumors that I’ve been planning for a new ballad duo to debut in a few months.”
Jongdae nodded hesitantly while Lu just looked confused. Apparently, the rumors hadn’t spread over to the Chinese branch.
“I have decided that you two are the best candidates for the duo.”
Jongdae’s jaw dropped. True, he’d been expecting it, but weren’t there supposed to be other things that led up to being chosen to debut? Things such as performances for the board of directors, assessments in vocal and dance training, and extra evaluations?
The president out-right laughed. “Jongdae, close your mouth before a fly goes in.”
Jongdae’s mouth shut with an audible click.
“I’ve chosen you two because you are undoubtedly two of the best singers in the entire company. However, there are some things that can still be improved. So, for the next few months, you two will have joint vocal sessions in which you will learn to blend your voices and how to communicate with each other. Lu is also one of the best dancers in the company, so Jongdae, he will be teaching you. We’ll also train you on how to deal with media and behave at social functions.” The president smiled at the two shocked youths. “Congratulations, boys. It’s a true honor to have been chosen for this duo.”
Lu recovered first. “Thank you, sir,” he murmured, bowing his head. Jongdae followed suit.
The president handed them two thick folders. “In here are more details, as well as your new training schedules. Every once in a while, I might stop by to check on your progress, so work hard, boys.”
“Thank you for this honor.” Jongdae clutched the folder to his chest. “We’ll work hard!”
The president gave him an encouraging smile, and then his secretary came in to the office to show the Jongdae and Xiao Lu back down to the lobby.
“So…Boss already mentioned it, but I’m Kim Jongdae.” Jongdae tucked his folder under his arm and thrust his hand out at Lu, who smiled and shook.
“And I’m Xiao Lu.”
They shared an awkward smile while they valiantly ignored the secretary in the elevator with them as she laughed at them.
“It’s already noon,” she said kindly, after a few moments of tension. “Why don’t you two head out, grab lunch, and spend some time getting to know each other?”
Jongdae gave her a relieved smile and turned to Lu. “That sounds like a good idea. Do you want to go?”
Lu grinned back at him. “I haven’t been in Seoul for very long. Maybe you can show me around?”
And thus began the start of a (quite literally) beautiful relationship.
April 28, 2009
Jongdae snorted with laughter and flopped back on to Lu’s bed. “Man, what a waste of a pretty face.”
“Huh?” Lu blinked at him in confusion from where he was seated on the floor, a binder of sheet music balanced on his knees.
“When you laugh, your eyes get super wide and your lips pull back...you look like a turkey,” Jongdae snickered.
“I get that a lot.” Lu gave him a faint smile, and Jongdae frowned.
“Hey, I didn’t mean anything by it. You’re still beautiful, even when you’re laughing.”
“Beautiful?”
“I mean manly. Very, very manly.” Jongdae hastily corrected himself; he’d been there the last time Lu had been called pretty by Kim Junmyeon, a close friend of his. Junmyeon had gotten out of the ordeal with a black eye and a broken heart. The only good thing that had come out of the event was that everyone, Junmyeon especially, knew to never call Lu pretty.
“That’s what I thought,” Lu snorted.
They sat in silence for a few minutes, until Jongdae asked again. “Lu?”
“Yeah?” Lu finally looked over at him.
“You realize that we’re going to debut next month.”
“No way,” Lu said sarcastically. “Of course I realized you dumb butt, our debut has been taking up every moment of our lives for the past few months.”
“It all seems like it’s happening too fast.”
“We’ve been training for nine months since that initial meeting, Jongdae. It seems like everything is going too slow to me.” Luhan flipped to the next page in the binder.
“You’ve been with the company longer than I have. Maybe that’s why it seems slow to you.”
“I guess I’ve been here twice as long as you, huh? You haven’t even been here a full year yet.”
Jongdae rubbed at the back of his neck and then folded his arms over his chest. “Yeah, I guess so.”
They lapsed back into silence again, and Jongdae slowly began drifting off to sleep to the melody that Lu was humming softly.
“Jongdae?”
“What?” Jongdae made a sleepy disgruntled noise and opened one eye to glare over at Lu.
Lu looked decidedly unrepentant. “How do you feel about our debut concept? And our song? I mean…”
“I hate it. But what can we do? The song itself sounds normal enough; maybe we’ll get a super positive response from people who only hear it on the radio.”
“But most people who hear it on the radio will probably look up the music video…”
Jongdae sighed heavily and rolled on to his side so that he was facing Lu. “Maybe a video about two chickens falling in love will be weird enough that people love it, or maybe the company just wants us to fail. I don’t know, but I’ll be happy to be able to get on the stage, at least once, and sing my heart out to thousands of people who want to hear me.”
Lu’s eyes softened, and he reached over to lace his fingers with Jongdae’s. “Of course.”
Jongdae squeezed their hands together for a moment, and then closed his eyes. “Will you wake me up fifteen minutes before our next vocal session?”
“Sure.”
Lu waited until Jongdae fell asleep before he leaned over to brush a soft kiss against the back of Jongdae’s hand.
One month later, Lu and Jongdae were huddled in front of a laptop in Jongdae’s room.
“Is this real?”
“Shut up. Of course it’s real,” Lu huffed and knocked his elbow into Jongdae’s side. He refreshed the page on his laptop again and groaned in annoyance. “Is the company trying to fuck with us? They said that they would post the video at midnight!”
Jongdae looked down at the bottom corner of Lu’s screen and felt a twinge of nervousness when he saw the time.
“It’s 12:01. Oh my God, Lu, what if this was all just a giant joke, and the Big Boss is just sitting up in his office laughing his head off?!”
“Why would they spend millions of dollars just to play a prank on us?” Lu refreshed the page again and tried to stay calm. “Let’s wait a few more minutes.”
“Okay.” Jongdae muttered as he subconsciously began chewing on his nails.
Lu glanced over and gently knocked Jongdae’s hand away from his mouth. “The stylistsa are going to kill you if you mess up your nails. You know that our opening shot for the debut stage is of your hands holding the mic.”
“Sorry.” A hint of red spread across the bridge of Jongdae’s nose.
“Whatever. It doesn’t matter…Especially if the company never posts the fucking video, damn it!” Luhan refreshed the YouTube page again with a hiss of frustration.
At last, after a profusely apologetic text message from their manager and ten more minutes of waiting, the video appeared on the company’s website.
“Should we watch it?”
“You want to see that crap again?” Jongdae wrinkled his nose, considerably cheered up now that the video was posted, and they were truly, officially debuted. “Let’s not. Let’s get drunk instead!”
“We have our debut stage tomorrow morning,” Lu rolled his eyes.“We don’t have to get that drunk. Come on, I even brought wine,” Jongdae coaxed. “Just a little bit, please?”
Lu sighed. “Fine, let’s get drunk.” He got off the bed and grabbed two mugs from his dresser top. Jongdae grinned and pulled out the wine from his bag and popped the cap off, pouring a generous amount into both cups.
They did end up getting a little too tipsy and decided to watch their music video. The very sight of the opening scene promptly sobered them up, and Lu kicked Jongdae out of his room to get some sleep, carefully reminding his fellow singer to rehydrate himself before going to bed.
November 8, 2009
Lu and Jongdae sat in the back of a French restaurant shoveling food down their throats for a quick lunch before their next schedule.
“I still can’t believe that we did it,” Jongdae said in awe. “How come people liked that crap?”
“The song itself was pretty good, I guess.” Lu reached over and stole one of Jongdae’s carrots with his chopsticks, casually knocking his ankle against Jongdae’s. “What I still don’t understand is why your stage name is Chen when we’re promoting as a Korean ballad duo.”
Jongdae shrugged, and retaliated by stealing one of Lu’s mushrooms. He popped it into his mouth and shot Lu a satisfied look when he pouted at him. “Don’t ask me, our management is nuts.”
“They’re probably only doing this to us because we’re nuts too.”
“I like practical jokes,” Jongdae sniffed. “With an emphasis on “practical”.”
“Yes, you were very practical when you decided that it was a good idea for you to try and put ice down Yifan’s shirt when you’re a foot shorter than him,” Lu said drily.
Jongdae blushed. “I was standing on a table! It was fool proof!”
“Until he turned around, and you were so shocked that you poured the ice over his head instead of down his back,” Lu snickered.
“That was one time! It would have been fool proof if Junmyeon hadn’t stopped making moon eyes at Yifan,” Jongdae muttered crossly.
Lu stilled at his side, and Jongdae glanced over at him in surprise. “What?”
“Junmyeon likes Yifan?”
“Yeah, he’s liked him for ages! You didn’t know?”
“Wait, but if Junmyeon likes Yifan…does Yifan like him back?” Lu frowned and reached over to swipe another piece of carrot.
Jongdae sighed. “It’s hard to say. Yifan always tells us about his girlfriend that he had in Canada, but Junmyeon also had a girlfriend in high school, so it doesn’t mean much.”
“Poor Junmyeon.”
“Yeah, he’s feeling kind of down.”
“Now I feel bad that I punched him in the face.”
“That was ages ago and he doesn’t hold it against you. Don’t worry.” Jongdae tapped his chopsticks against Luhan’s bowl impatiently. “Come on, hurry up, we have to get back to our Mandarin session soon.”
“I’m your teacher; we can be a little late.”
“Lu.”
“Alright, alright.” Lu hastily started scooping rice into his mouth. “Although, I have to ask again. How do you feel about our next comeback concept?”
Jongdae grimaced. “Lu, it’s a song about electric eels. Doesn’t that speak for itself?”
“We have an evil company,” Lu sighed.
“That, we do.”
May 15, 2010
Once again, Lu and Jongdae were shocked at how well their second comeback had went. They were two rising stars in the entertainment industry now, and all kinds of businesses were contacting them to sign contracts for modeling, advertisements, and much more. For the time being, they let the company handle whatever offers came their way and focused on their third concept.
They had just exited the company building when Lu glanced over at Jongdae. “Are you okay? You look a little green.”
Jongdae swayed slightly, and Lu instantly reached over and pulled him into a hug. “What is it?” he murmured softly as he rubbed Jongdae’s back soothingly. “What’s the matter?”
“The company…really wants us to fail this time, don’t they?”
By now, the fangirls had noticed that they were standing outside the building, and they gathered around to take pictures. Lu gritted his teeth. Couldn’t these girls see that all Jongdae needed was some private space? Nevertheless, he forced himself to soften his tone when he spoke to Jongdae. “Jongdae, we’ve already pulled off two ridiculous concepts. We can definitely do it a third time.”
“But what if people grow bored of us? What if this one is too weird? What if, after this, we can never recover our public image ever again?”
“Jongdae, you’re overthinking this. Management made this a short comeback era on purpose.” Lu tightened his grip on Jongdae’s waist, and the fangirls squealed in response. “Come on, let’s get in the cab, and we can talk some more.”
“They’ll see that I was crying,” Jongdae mumbled.
Lu sighed and lifted his sunglasses off of his forehead and jammed them on to Jongdae’s nose. “Come on.”
Jongdae sighed and followed him into the cab. Once they were safely behind the tinted windows, Jongdae took the glasses off and buried his face into Lu’s sleeve.
Lu reached around Jongdae’s shoulders to rub at the back of his neck. “Did your parents call you again? Is that what this is about?”
“Yeah.” Jongdae sniffed and drew away from Lu’s arm, rubbing at his eyes with the back of his hand. “Sorry, I think I got snot on your sleeve.”
Lu grimaced and began rummaging around in his bag for tissues. “What did they say this time?”
Jongdae had spilled the entire story about his parents on a particularly late night of vocal practice, back in the few months of training before their very first debut. Apparently, Jongdae’s parents had always supported Jongdae’s interest in singing. However, they had never fully understood why Jongdae had chosen to sign himself on with a large company; according to Jongdae, they believed that he would “grow out of his phase” over time and that he would settle down in a nice, respectable profession. Jongdae’s voice had overflowed with bitterness when he told Luhan about his parents’ attempts to persuade him to choose another career before he signed on with the company. They had been shocked, and then horrified, when they found out what he had done.
“They don’t like me running around Korea embarrassing myself in front of the entire population,” Jongdae sobbed. “And then-and then I told them about our next concept and they…”
“They weren’t happy.” Lu sighed heavily and handed over a pack of tissues to Jongdae, after taking one out to wipe at his sleeve with. “My family isn’t too happy with it either, to be honest.”
“They want to pull me out,” Jongdae said very quietly, his face hidden behind his hair as he stared down at his hands. “They don’t want me to do this.”
“We’ll only be crossdressing for a month…”
“They were very adamant.”
“You’re twenty-one years old, Jongdae; you can make decisions for yourself.”
“But a child will always want their parent’s approval, and you know how famous we are; it’s not like my parents can ignore our actions.”
“Then, are you going to pull out?” The cab stopped in front of their dorms, but neither of them made a move to get out.
“I don’t want to,” Jongdae admitted softly.
Lu sighed and reached down to unbuckle his seatbelt. “Then don’t. We only have to dress as mermaids for one month. It won’t be so bad, Jongdae.”
“That’s easy for you to say. You’re pretty like a girl,” Jongdae scoffed.
Lu reached out and pulled Jongdae out of the cab, smiling politely at their driver before slinging an arm around Jongdae’s neck and squeezing slightly. “What was that?”
“You’re beautiful, Lu. At least you’ll look good while this is happening.”
Lu sighed and loosened his grip. “Jongdae, when are you going to realize that you’re beautiful too?”
“Not like you.”
Lu groaned and let his arm fall from Jongdae’s neck. “You’re impossible.”
Jongdae chuckled softly as they got into the elevator. “Sorry.”
“Will you be alright? Do you want to stay in my room tonight?”
“I’ll be fine. And I’ll be spending most of the night talking to my parents, so…”
“Well, when you’re done, you can come sleep in my room if you want.”
Jongdae gave him a small smile. “Thanks, Lu.”
“No problem.” Lu stuffed his hands in his pockets as they walked down the hallway. “Good luck, Jongdae.”
“I’ll need it.” They entered their cozy apartment suite, and Jongdae headed towards his bedroom and opened the door. “See you tomorrow, Lu.”
“See ya.”
Lu stayed up until five in the morning, his ears straining for any sounds of argument coming from Jongdae’s room. At last, he fell asleep, his vision blurred with fatigue.
When he woke up at noon the next day, he was pleasantly surprised, and then very happy, to find Jongdae tucked under his chin, a slender arm carelessly slung over his waist.
December 12, 2010
“What happened to ‘If they throw another crazy concept at us, we’ll turn them down’?!”
“Don’t start yelling at me; you were going along with it too!”
Jongdae groaned, burying his face in his hands. “We’re doomed. We’re fucking doomed.”
“At least it’s tamer than the last one.”
“But it’s a longer period!”Jongdae wailed. “Lu, you realize that we are going to be promoting a concept centralized around tuna of all things, for four whole months!”
There was a polite knock on the door, and then it cracked open. “Is everything okay in here? I could hear you wailing.” Junmyeon’s face filled with concern when he saw Jongdae lying on the floor.
“Don’t mind Jongdae, he’s being overly dramatic.” Lu nudged Jongdae’s ribs with his foot. Jongdae whined in response and smushed his face further into the wood. “Come on, get up Jongdae.”
“Well, I’ll be in the practice room next door if you need me.” Junmyeon smiled uncertainly at them and left the room.
“Thanks.” Lu waited until the door clicked shut again before he plopped down on to the floor beside Jongdae. “You’re right. We’re doomed.”
“What do you think they’re going to do to us?” Jongdae peeked at Lu through his fingers.
“Maybe they’ll make us do our comeback stage in fish costumes.”
“Nah, they’d be too cheap for that…they’d make us reuse our old mermaid costumes from last time.”
“But then the fans would get mad,” Lu snorted.
“I think the fans would just burst into tears at the sight of those dreadful things,” Jongdae sighed and sniffled loudly.
“Hm.” Lu sighed and propped himself up on his elbows. “Jongdae, are you actually crying?”
“Shut up!” Jongdae sniffled and wiped his nose on his sleeve. He turned his head to glare at Lu, only to stiffen in shock when Lu’s face was barely an inch away. “Lu?”
“Yeah?” Lu didn’t make a move to back away, and neither did Jongdae.
“I…”
“Shut up, Jongdae.” Lu leaned forward and whoa they were kissing and this was kind of weird, but kind of good because they had really just spent their entire career flirting with each other and-
Jongdae’s internal rambling cut off abruptly when Lu withdrew and eyed on Jongdae speculatively. “Was that okay?”
“Um.” Jongdae blinked and licked his lips. “Uh.”
Lu burst into laughter, and Jongdae turned bright red. “Your laughing face is ugly,” he muttered under his breath.
Lu grinned and rolled on top of him. “And you’re beautiful,” he sing-songed. “My beautiful, beautiful Jongdae.”
Jongdae yelped and swatted at him. “Who’re you calling beautiful, huh?”
“Or better yet: my cute little otter,” Lu snickered down at him.
Junmyeon flinched and nearly dropped all of his music when he heard Lu shriek in the practice room next door. He shook his head and hurried down the corridor; he didn’t even want to know what Jongdae was doing to the poor man if he was screaming that loudly.
May 17, 2011
“Hey, we did it!” Jongdae beamed and waved his arms at Lu, narrowly missing the napkin holder on their table.
Lu flinched and glanced around the busy ice cream parlor to check if anyone had recognized them yet. When he didn’t see anyone looking their way, he sighed in relief and turned back to face Jongdae. “I’m not sure this is something we should be happy about…”
“At least we finally got brave enough to turn down the song about bubble gum,” Jongdae huffed.
“Yes, that’s all fine and dandy, except we have to cross-dress again,” Luhan sighed heavily. “And the director wants me to be the girl this time.”
“Yeah, well, at least it’s only for the music video. I’m glad that the board promised that we wouldn’t have to cross-dress for any of the live performances.”
“Me too,” Lu said quickly. “But I still don’t like it.”
“I am sorry about that,” Jongdae murmured softly. “But…it could be worse."
Lu held in his complaints when he saw Jongdae’s smile dim. Heknew that Jongdae’s parents still hadn’t fully recovered their pride from the mermaid concept a few years back. On the other hand, his own family was still rather embarrassed about it as well, but since it appeared to be some sort of taboo among everyone including fans, critics, and producers, they had gotten used to tip-toeing around the topic. Lu hoped that they would forgive him for this in the future.
“What do you think they’ll make us wear?” Jongdae happily licked some cookies ‘n cream ice cream off of his spoon.
“Probably something absolutely hideous,” Lu grunted.
“Don’t be such a downer, we might get nice outfits this time. The last concept was alright, wasn’t it?”
“There was way too much pink,” Lu sighed. “It was so emasculating.”
“Ah, that’s right, you want to make a manly image for yourself.” Jongdae shook his head and sighed. “Well, Lu, somehow I doubt you’re going to achieve that anytime soon.”
“Why’s that?”
“You’re sitting in an ice cream shop eating rainbow sherbet,” Jongdae pointed out. “And I’m sure a couple of fans have caught sight of us by now.”
“…I hate you.”
“Love you too.”
And they picked up their ice cream and ran for it when they saw a group of girls wading through the crowded shop towards their table.
July 31, 2012
“We’re going on a world tour, Lu, aren’t you excited?”
“Why did it have to be with this album though?” Lu groaned and buried his face in Jongdae’s neck, grinning in victory when Jongdae flailed away while whining about being ticklish. “This song isn’t even that good.”
“You’re just upset because that emcee called you out on your feminine side yesterday.” Jongdae rubbed at his neck.
“I’m manly, I tell you!”
“Of course, Lu.”
Lu made a face at Jongdae. “I don’t want to go touring the world with giant sea cucumbers dancing behind me.”
“Oh, Lu, it could be so much worse. We could’ve gone on our world tour with our mermaid concept from a few years ago.”
Lu shuddered. “That’s true. Let’s never go back to those days. Ever.”
“I think the sea cucumbers were actually pretty tame this time. We didn’t even have to do anything weird.”
“Our music video was still all fucked up, as usual.”
“Yeah, but at least there was no cross-dressing this era. There was no pastel or neon colored clothing scheme. There were no strange sound effects or animal noises. All in all, I think we did pretty well.”
“Was that why you didn’t protest too much when we were offered the choice between this song and the other song about yoga mats?”
“Pretty much. Also, you know how flexible I am.” Jongdae made a face.
“You’re flexible enough for me.” Lu leered at him, and Jongdae shoved his face away with one hand, only to let Lu take his hand off his face and drape it over his shoulders.
“Come on, let’s take a picture and send it to Junmyeon, he’s probably feeling lonely since Yifan went back to Canada for vacation.”
“Really?” Lu wrapped his arm around Jongdae’s waist and put his fingers up in the victory sign by his face. “I thought Yifan invited him to go with him.”
“But then Junmyeon told him that he hadn’t come out to his parents, and Yifan told him that he could only go if he told his parents about their relationship.”
“Oh. How’d that work out?”
“Junmyeon hasn’t told them yet.”
“Man, Junmyeon has it rough.” Lu waited patiently while Jongdae fiddled around with the camera on his phone.
“Well, it’s about time he told them. Junmyeon’s been hiding it for so long, and he and Yifan are getting pretty serious now.”
“Well, he does have a lot of reasons not to say anything. Are his parents…not supportive of him?” Lu’s eyebrows creased in anxiety; he and Junmyeon had gotten close over the years (although not as close as Junmyeon and Jongdae), and he was worried for his friend.
“I don’t know. He doesn’t really talk about them,” Jongdae said as he snapped the picture, and then sent it off to Junmyeon. “Hopefully our selca will cheer him up a little bit.”
“Yeah.” Lu settled back down on the bed. “I still feel bad about punching him in the face.”
“Well, you thought he was bullying you. Anyways, it was in the past, and he forgave you a long time ago. No worries.”
“Hm.” Lu splayed his fingers over Jongdae’s stomach and tapped out an absent-minded melody. “You know, I am actually excited about our world tour.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. I’m going to see the world with you. What’s not to be excited about?”
“You sap.”
“But you love it.”
“I do,” Jongdae smiled at him affectionately, putting a hand over Lu’s.
“I love you too.”
Lu howled in agony when Jongdae kicked him off of the bed for being too cheesy.
September 15, 2014
“Man, we’ve been doing this for a long time now.”
“Yeah, the fifth year anniversary for The Deer and The Otter is coming up pretty soon,” Jongdae yawned.
Lu gently pushed him to go sit down, and returned with a mug of warm milk.
“That’s only going to make me sleepier.”
“You need all the sleep you can get. You’ve been so tired lately.” Luhan brushed some hair out of Jongdae’s eyes affectionately.
“I guess the performance at Music Core really wore me out,” Jongdae yawned again, and he ended up accepting the mug.
“You’re more like a kitten than an otter.” Lu watched with interest as Jongdae took a dainty sip of milk.
“I like to swim,” Jongdae shrugged. “Cats don’t like to swim.”
“How was the company supposed to know that?”
“They know a lot more about us than we think. That’s why it took Junmyeon seven years of training to debut, before they were convinced that he had enough self-control to be able to focus on work before his own feelings.”
“Well, they were wrong about that, weren’t they? Junmyeon and Yifan still got together.”
“They were meant to be together,” Jongdae yawned once again and set the mug down. “Nothing was going to stop them, and I think that the company finally realized that and just let it happen.”
“Were we meant to be together?”
Jongdae blinked in surprise. “Well…”
“Would we still have gotten together if I hadn’t kissed you that one time?” Lu pressed.
“I think so,” Jongdae said at last.
“Hm.” Lu got to his feet.
“Lu? What’re you doing?” Jongdae blinked in confusion when Lu got up, only to kneel down in front of Jongdae.
“Kim Jongdae, we haven’t been together for an extremely long time. But, I love you. And my future is with you, and I want to be by your side, watching over you and loving you. Will you marry me?”
Jongdae’s face went bright pink, and then pale white, and then bright pink and then white again. He opened his mouth to answer, and Lu gave him a hopeful look-
Until Jongdae passed out in his seat, his eyes rolling up into the back of his head.
Jongdae woke up feeling slightly woozy. “Huh?”
“Jongdae!” Lu’s warm hands were gently lifting him up and supporting him until he was sitting upright against the headboard. “How’re you feeling?”
“A little dizzy.”
“Here, drink some water.” A cool glass was pressed into his hands.
Jongdae grunted and lifted the glass to his lips. “Why does my head hurt so much?” he grumbled under his breath.
“Maybe you should go see a doctor.” A warm hand pressed against his forehead, and Jongdae melted into the gentle touch.
“No, I’ll be fine. Just give me a minute.”
“If you’re sure.”
Finally, Jongdae gathered up the fortitude to look over at Lu’s worried face. “Hey.”
“Hey, yourself.” Lu’s shoulders slumped with relief, and he carefully took the water glass out of Jongdae’s hands. “How’s your head?”
“It’s fine.”
“But you said it hurt.”
“Well, it’s gone now.”
“Maybe we should go to the hospital…” Lu tentatively withdrew his hands.
“No, no. I’m fine,” Jongdae said insistently, and reached out to bring Lu’s hands back.
“If you’re sure.”
Jongdae sighed. “Really, I’m sure, Lu.” Then, he hesitated. “But…”
“What?”
“Did you really mean what you said? About-about marrying me?”
“Yes, I did mean what I said.”
Jongdae gave Lu a look. “You really have some things to learn about timing. You can’t just spring a proposal on me when I’m half asleep and without any buildup.”
“Sorry.” Lu looked decidedly unrepentant, but also extremely nervous.
“I need some time to think about it,” Jongdae sighed softly. He took Lu’s hand in his, and tried to convey his feelings with his eyes, even if the right words wouldn’t come out of his mouth. “It’s not that I’m rejecting you right away or anything-but it’s such a big decision.”
“I understand.” Lu licked his lips in embarrassment. “I’m sorry. I didn’t think you would be so shocked.”
“I really wasn’t expecting it though,” Jongdae laughed softly.
They sat in awkward silence for a few moments. “Uh, well. I’m going to, um, call the manager.” Jongdae swung his legs over the edge of the bed and fumbled around for his phone. “I’m going to ask him for some time off to think about-to think about your proposal.” Jongdae felt a small blush working its way up his face.
Lu watched him with an unreadable expression on his face. “Okay.”
“Are you going to sleep now?”
“I might stay up for a bit and watch some drama re-runs on television.”
“I think Channel 89 usual runs some Chinese dramas,” Jongdae said helpfully. “Do you want me to go outside?”
“Nah, I’m fine if you stay in here.”
“Okay.” Jongdae lifted the phone to his ear as Lu got up to grab the TV remote. The soothing sounds of a drama soundtrack and lilting Mandarin played in the background as Jongdae waited for the call to go through.
“Hello?”
“Hey, Kyungsoo.”
“What is it, Jongdae?”
“Were you sleeping?”
“Yes. Now, what is it?”
Jongdae smiled slightly. Even though Kyungsoo was usually vaguely grumpy all the time, Jongdae only found it endearing. “Um…well…how do I say this? I, uh-“
“Spit it out, Jongdae.”
“Lu proposed to me!” Jongdae was extremely aware of Lu, who was sitting on the bed, and was looking as if he was trying very hard not to listen to Jongdae and Kyungsoo’s conversation.
Kyungsoo was silent for a moment. “Um…Congratulations?”
“The thing is, I haven’t responded yet. I was wondering if there’s a way for me to get some time to think about it.”
Kyungsoo didn’t say anything for a few seconds. “Jongdae, you’re so stupid.”
“Huh?”
“I’ll ask management about it,” Kyungsoo sighed. “I’ll call you back in a few hours, but I do hope that you know what you and Lu are getting yourselves into by asking the company for help.”
“Oh.” It was Jongdae’s turn to sit in silence. “Well…they knew we were dating. Why would they be mad?”
“It shouldn’t be too much of an issue, they just like to be informed before anyone does anything…drastic.”
“Um.” Jongdae cast a nervous glance at Lu. “Well, we’ll deal with any scolding the company wants to give us, but can you please ask them? It’s really important. I know I won’t be able to perform well unless I get time to think.”
“You underestimate me, Jongdae.” Kyungsoo sounded miffed. “You’re right, this shouldn’t be too much of a stretch. I’ll call the company and get back to you in a few hours, okay Jongdae? They should be pretty nice about it, it’s not like this hasn’t happened before.”
“Thanks, Kyungsoo.”
“No problem. Now go to sleep.”
“Okay.” Jongdae hung up from the phone and crawled back on to the bed, settling down next to Lu.
“What did Kyungsoo say?”
“First, he basically told me that you really should’ve told the company that I might need some time off in advance.”
Lu looked thoughtful. “I guess I should have. It would have been easier to schedule around this…”
“Well, whatever. He also said that it wouldn’t be a huge deal.” Jongdae leaned against Lu’s arm and turned his attention to the crying woman on the television screen. “He said he’ll call back in a few hours to let me know how much time we’re getting.”
“Okay.”
They both stared at the screen for a few minutes, neither one really absorbed with the events unfolding in the drama.
“Jongdae?”
“Yes?”
“Do you want me to be here, if the company gives us time off?”
Jongdae hesitated. “I…don’t know.”
“There are places I can stay. I can spend some quality time with Kyungsoo, or someone else, if you want me to.”
“Thanks,” Jongdae gave him a small smile. “I…I think I do want you to stay though, if that’s okay.” Jongdae swallowed hard. “I know it’s selfish, but…I want you to stay.”
“Then I’ll stay.” Lu gripped Jongdae’s hand for a moment, before he let go and settled back into the pillows. “Are you actually going to watch with me, or are you going to sleep?”
“Both. I’ll watch with you until I fall asleep.”
“Alright.”
Jongdae nestled into Lu’s elbow. “Don’t move your arm, or you’ll hit me in the face.”
Lu rolled his eyes. “Good night, Jongdae.”
Jongdae let out a sleepy noise of reply and closed his eyes as the events of the day finally caught up with him.
The next morning, Jongdae was woken up by the sound of the Pororo theme song blasting through the room. “Hello?”
“Jongdae.”
“Kyungsoo!” Jongdae hastily sat up in bed and looked over to the side to see that Lu had already woken up and was watching him with sleepy eyes.
“Management was not pleased that this was how you guys decided to break the news. Nevertheless, they say congratulations, and they’re giving you a two week hiatus in your activities so that you get some time to think.”
“Thanks, Kyungsoo. God, what would I do without you?”
“You would be just fine, Kim Jongdae.” Kyungsoo’s voice softened marginally. “Don’t stress out too much about it. No matter what you decide, Lu will still love you.”
“You’re being uncharacteristically sweet.”
“Just remember that, Jongdae. I know you overthink things sometimes.” Kyungsoo cleared his throat, and then his usually brusque tone returned. “Now, Lu will also be taking this two week break so that no one tries to ask him any questions. The story is that you got sick, and you can’t sing. Alright?”
“Alright. Thanks again, Kyungsoo. Get some sleep.”
“You’re welcome, Jongdae. I’ll drop by at the end of your break. Goodbye.”
“Bye.” Jongdae hung up the call and lay back down on the bed.
“What’d he say?” Lu slurred as he leaned over to rest his head on Jongdae’s shoulder.
“We’re getting a two week break.”
“Mmm.” Lu nestled further into Jongdae’s side. “Go back to sleep.”
“But-”
“Sleep, Jongdae.”
“Alright.” Jongdae stilled and waited for Lu to fall asleep before he carefully rolled out of bed and tucked the sheets around Lu’s shoulders. He stumbled into the bathroom and splashed water over his face, and he grimaced when hair stuck to his forehead. He had a long day full of planning and thinking ahead of him.
Usually, he had a lot of fun picking out disguises with Lu whenever they went out, but it looked like he was going to have to do it on his own today. In the end, Jongdae settled for the burgundy scarf that he draped over his head and plain sunglasses that covered his eyes. He pulled on an inconspicuous black jacket and stuffed his shoes in a pair of sneakers before quietly stepping outside.
He carefully snuck out of the building, quietly slipping through crowd of fans who were waiting for them to come down by sneaking into the center of a group of American tourists and heading out the front doors. He smiled to himself and broke off from the group, his eyes busily searching the signs for a place for breakfast. He always derived a certain satisfaction when he successfully snuck past anyone, be it his fans, or his family from during his high school days.
He idly debated whether or not he should buy something for Lu, but then decided against it. Whenever they had a day off, Lu refused to get out of bed before one in the afternoon. Jongdae didn’t imagine that today would be an exception.
Jongdae walked briskly into a small café. The girl at the counter gave his sunglasses a skeptical look, but let it slide and handed him a pastry and a coffee. Jongdae saw her turn to her phone as he turned away, and he hastily scurried out of the shop and headed for the nearest subway station. He needed some space to try and clear his head.
September 28, 2014
Jongdae sat down on the floor and leaned back against the wall. He pulled his knees up to his chest and carefully selected the correct contact on his phone before putting it up to his ear.
“Hello?”
“Junmyeon.”
“Jongdae? What’s up?” There was a sound of something crashing to the floor in the background and Junmyeon sighed heavily.
“…Is now a bad time?”
“No, it’s fine, Yifan can deal with it. Right, Yifan?” Jongdae could vividly imagine the white-hot glare Junmyeon was shooting at his fellow singer, and the frightened nod Yifan gave back to him. “You were saying, Jongdae?”
“I need your help.” Jongdae slid down against the wall and put the phone on speaker so that he didn’t have to hold it against his ear. Lu was out, visiting one of his old friends how happened to be in the city for a couple days, so Jongdae didn’t have to worry about him eavesdropping on the conversation.
“What’s up? Does this have anything to do with your two week hiatus?”
“Yeah, it does, actually.” Jongdae stretched his arms over his head. They were halfway through the hiatus period, and Jongdae was starting to get a little bit nervous and quite a bit desperate for advice.
“Well, what happened?”
“Wait, are you still at the studio?”
“No, I’m actually at home.”
Jongdae blinked. “You’re at home? Really?”
“Yep.” There was a sound of a door shutting, and Junmyeon’s voice came out clearer over the phone.
“Why is Yifan with you? Isn’t he still in China seeing his mom?”
“No, he’s having dinner with me.”
“He came back for you?”
“It’s not as dramatic as that, Jongdae.” Jongdae snickered at the trace of a smile in Junmyeon’s voice. “Anyways, you didn’t call to talk about me. What’s up with you, Jongdae?”
“Oh. That. Well, uh…”
“Don’t overthink it, Jongdae. Just spit it out.”
“Don’t explode, okay?”
“I can’t make any promises.” Junmyeon’s voice took on a note of worry. “Jongdae, what happened? Did you get in trouble?”
“No, no! It’s not something bad. It’s just uh-Lu proposed to me, two weeks ago.”
“Oh!” Junmyeon gasped in surprise. “Why-Jongdae! Congratulations!”
“Well, there is a catch.”
“Let me guess. You told him you had to think about it.”
“You got me.” Jongdae sighed and stared down at his phone screen. “I don’t know what to do.”
“Well, I obviously can’t make your decisions for you, but I hope I can help.” Junmyeon sighed softly into the phone. “Honestly, sometimes you are so stupid, Kim Jongdae.”
“Kyungsoo said the same thing,” Jongdae mused. “I still don’t get what you guys mean.”
“Case in point.” Junmyeon laughed softly at Jongdae’s squawk of indignation. “Anyways, I bet you’ve been doing a lot of thinking.”
“Yep. Yes, sir. Thinking day and night twenty-four seven. It got so bad that Lu ended up leaving to go visit one of his friends all day today.”
“You kept him there with you?” Junmyeon let out a noise of despair. “Oh, Jongdae.”
“I thought that if he was here, I would be able to think more clearly,” Jongdae muttered. “I was wrong.”
“Well, I’m sure having him around probably did help you with some things,” Junmyeon said gently. “It’s fine; I wasn’t trying to imply that it was a bad thing. Anyways, back to overthinking. Let’s try something different, okay?”
“Sure.”
“I want you to close your eyes.”
“They’re closed.” Jongdae shifted and got himself more comfortable on the floor.
“Now, think about the first time you met Lu.”
Jongdae smiled softly as he remembered their very awkward elevator ride. “Yeah, I’ve got it.”
“Okay, great. Now, think of something you guys did recently together.”
Jongdae thought about the car ride home from their Music Core performance, and how warm Lu’s head had been against his shoulder. “Okay.”
“Now, this next one is a little tougher. I want you to imagine yourself three years from now. What are you doing?”
Jongdae’s brow furrowed slightly as he thought about it. “Well, I’m still under this company. By now, I imagine that I’ve landed an emcee job on some music show.”
“Okay, good, good. Now, where is Lu?”
Jongdae’s fingers twitched in surprise. “Well, Lu and I got the job together…or he’s filming for a movie by then.”
“Is The Deer and The Otter still together at this point?”
“Definitely.”
“Now, think about yourself ten years from now. What are you doing?”
“Ten years…” Jongdae pondered. “I guess I have my own radio show now, with Lu.”
“Is the Deer and the Otter still together?”
“I don’t know if we’re actively promoting now, but we’re still famous.”
“Okay. So now, think about what you’ve just told me. In the future, you see Lu and yourself always staying side by side. What does that say about you?”
Jongdae opened his eyes and glared at his phone. “That’s the point, I don’t know!”
“Don’t make this any more complex that it has to be,” Junmyeon sighed. “You can imagine a happy, comfortable future with Lu, doesn’t that speak for itself?”
Jongdae bit his lip. “I guess…”
“What is it that you’re so afraid of? Are you nervous about finances?”
“Not really.”
“Is it living together?”
“Definitely not.”
“Is it the public’s reaction?”
Jongdae frowned. “I am afraid of that…but that’s not a huge factor.”
“So it’s not finances, it’s not peer pressure, and it’s not living together. Jongdae, every relationship has its risks. This is one of them. You need to trust that Lu will always love you and always take care of you.”
“But what if he doesn’t? Aren’t we too young to be doing this?”
Junmyeon scoffed. “I call bullshit on you. Don’t be afraid just because you think that you have to be afraid. If you want to marry Lu, do it.”
“So you think I should marry him.”
“I think he has the ability to make you happy and to make you feel loved.”
“I…I guess so.”
Junmyeon’s voice gentled. “Like I said, Jongdae, don’t make this any more complicated than it needs to be. You and Lu are madly in love. Don’t let your tendency to overthink things get in the way of that.”
“Okay, Junmyeon.”
“I wasn’t too harsh, was I?”
Jongdae laughed. “Nah, no worries. That was good, I needed to hear that.”
“I’m glad. I hope that this helped, Jongdae.”
“It did. Thanks a lot.”
Junmyeon hummed softly into the speaker, and Jongdae felt the tension slowly melt from his shoulders. He grinned devilishly and picked up his phone, climbing to his feet so that he could go over to settle down on the couch. “Now it’s your turn. What’s this about Yifan coming over for dinner?”
“I said that it’s not as important as you make it sound! And speaking of which, I should get back to him…”
Jongdae ended the call and sat back in his seat, a small smile playing at the corners of his mouth.
September 29, 2014
“Lu?”
“What is it, Jongdae?” Lu looked up from his box of take-out.
“We’re resuming activities tomorrow…” Jongdae trailed off uncertainly.
“That’s right.” Lu resumed eating in an attempt to appear nonchalant. “And?”
“I’ve been thinking really hard about your proposal.”
“Oh.” Lu set his chopsticks down and swallowed the food in his mouth. He didn’t want to choke on anything when Jongdae finally let him know his decision. “And?”
Jongdae took a deep breath. He could do this. He wasn’t going to pass out again. “And I…I…”
Lu reached out and squeezed his hand encouragingly.
Jongdae flinched, and his carefully planned speech flew out of his head. “Yes!” Jongdae squeaked out.
He was totally unprepared for when Lu launched himself across the table and pulled him into a bear hug. “Oh my God, Lu, the food-“
“Shut up and just let me enjoy this,” Lu muttered, burying his face into Jongdae’s neck and inhaling his scent.
“Okay.” Jongdae patted Lu’s back and gave up on trying to look over his shoulders to see if food had gotten all over the carpet or not.
Lu leaned back and began fumbling around in his jacket pockets. “Hold on-I’ve got it somewhere.”
“Huh?”
At last, Lu pulled out a small black box and popped it open to reveal two silver bands. He carefully put one on Jongdae’s ring finger and let Jongdae pick up the other one and put it on his hand. “Do you like them?”
“They’re wonderful, Lu.” Jongdae reached up and hooked his arm around Lu’s neck to drag him down for a kiss. “Wonderful, just like you. I’m sorry I had to put you through all this.”
“Don’t apologize.” Lu grinned down at him and laced their fingers together. “If it meant that you would say yes in the end, then I would go through it a thousand times over.”
Jongdae laughed softly and squeezed their hands for a moment. Then, he straightened up, carefully, sliding Lu off to the side so that he could get a look at the table. Miraculously enough, nothing was overturned, and Lu gave him a sheepish look.
“I was excited, okay?”
“You have to be careful. What if everything spilled to the ground?”
Lu pouted. “But it didn’t.”
Jongdae rolled his eyes and slung his arm over Lu’s shoulders. “This time.”
Lu grinned cheekily and opened his mouth to say something, only to get cut off by a sharp knock on their door.
“It’s probably Kyungsoo. He said that he would come by.”
“I’ll get it.” Lu padded over to the entryway and unlocked the door. The door opened to reveal Kyungsoo standing with a blank expression his face, only for it to transform into one of dry affection when Lu flung himself forward and started shrieking about how Jongdae had accepted.
“Congratulations,” Kyungsoo said, shoving Lu back into the room and kicking the door shut behind him. Jongdae gave him an embarrassed smile and got up to get an extra plate. “Are you hungry, Kyungsoo?”
“I am, actually.” Kyungsoo took off his shoes while gently trying to detach Lu from his shoulders. “What’re you guys eating?”
“Noodles.”
Kyungsoo attempted to get his arms out of his coat sleeves while Lu continued to cling to him. “Well, now that the entire building probably knows that you’re engaged,” Kyungsoo said drily, “I suppose that I should inform the company.”
“We can do that, you don’t have to do all the work Kyungsoo.” Jongdae came back to the table with an extra plate and pair of chopsticks, and he began scooping noodles on to the plate.
“Somehow, I don’t think anything coherent is going to come out of this one,” Kyungsoo bopped Lu’s head lightly and smirked when Lu whined in complaint. “And judging by the way things are now, you won’t be able to get two words out without turning into a very embarrassed tomato. It’ll be easier if I handle things. Don’t worry about it Jongdae.”
“Thank you.” Jongdae gave him a grateful smile and kicked Lu off of Kyungsoo’s shoulders before handing him a serving of noodles. “Eat up. What’s our schedule for tomorrow, by the way?”
“Well, now that this happened, the company will have to discuss when they plan to reveal your engagement and all manners of interviews and other things, so I expect that you two will get a few more days off.” Kyungsoo hastily slurped up the last of the noodles and set his chopsticks down while Jongdae and Lu stared wide-eyed at his empty plate. “I should probably head over and talk to the president now.”
“But you just got here!”
“No, there’s no rest for a busy man like me, especially with you two hooligans lying around,” Kyungsoo winked as he stuffed his feet back into his shoes. “’Bye, you two.”
“Good bye!” Jongdae called out, a little shell-shocked by Kyungsoo’s whirlwind arrival and departure from the room.
The door clicked shut, and Lu stalked over to sit in Jongdae’s lap. “So,” he said with a wicked glint in his eyes. “We might get a few more days off, huh?”
“Yeah, that’ll be nice.”
“So you won’t mind if I do this?” A sly hand slipped under the waistband of Jongdae’s sweats, and he went bright red.
“Lu…what if we don’t get the extra time off?”
“I don’t care.” Lu’s hand tightened, and Jongdae’s breath hitched.
“Then I guess I don’t care either,” he laughed.
The next morning, Jongdae woke up to the shrill tone of his phone going off. “What?”
“Turn on the news,” Kyungsoo said crisply. “Management has extended your hiatus for another three days, and they want to have a talk with you tomorrow at 2 P.M.. Don’t be late.”
“Thanks, Kyungsoo.”
“No problem.”
Jongdae ended the call and fumbled hazily around for the remote. Lu made a noise of discontent. “Why are you squirming?”
“Where’s the remote?”
Lu groaned and rolled over, fumbling around on his side of the bed. At last, he located it under the lamp, and he pressed the power button. “Why am I turning the TV on?”
“Kyungsoo said to check out the news.”
“Okay.” Lu flipped through the channels, until they finally hit the right station.
The screen was emblazoned with Xiao Lu and Kim Jongdae’s engagement confirmed by company. The picture that a tabloid magazine had snapped of Lu kissing Jongdae’s forehead was slapped underneath the headline, and a very ecstatic anchorwoman was relaying the story.
Jongdae shared a happy smile with Lu, and he rolled over to nestle against his chest. “Turn it off and go back to sleep,” he muttered.
Lu complied and set the remote aside, returning to throw one arm over Jongdae’s waist while the other came under his pillow to support his head.
Jongdae let out a soft sigh of contentment when the warm metal of Lu’s ring brushed against a patch of exposed skin on his waist, and he lifted his arm so that their fingers were intertwined.
He wasn’t planning on letting Lu go for a very, very long time.
Fin