Don't you be so scared that you can't make a sound
Title: Don't you be so scared that you can't make a sound (from KoL's "Fans")
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Rating: PG-13
Word count: 1 700
Warning: Underaged boys (13 and 17)
Summary: There's no time to turn back. They'll never outrun the storm.
Disclaimer: Yeah, not really.
Previous
There's a strong body pressed against his, curious hands roaming all over his skin, pressing and squeezing and smoothing. Warm breath is tickling his earlobe, then underneath it, as lips trail their path down to where neck meets shoulder.
"Please... please," he begs. "Please... just..."
Offering more skin to the hungry mouth, he turns his head to the side and -
- opens his eyes.
He's drenched in sweat, sheet tangled around his legs, and it takes a while until he can free himself out of it. He can feel a damp stain soaked into the front of his underwear as the cool night air hits him.
"Ugh," he groans. "Fuck." He blushes slightly at the curse, but even more so at the urge to say sorry, Momma right away even though she's not even there to hear him. Stupid kid, he thinks. That's exactly why... But he doesn't let himself finish the thought, just gets up and changes his underwear. He pours himself a glass of water before returning to bed for a few more, this time dreamless, hours of sleep.
~*~
It's been three weeks - nineteen days, but who's counting - since... since.
Jensen has been avoiding him the whole time. He knows it sounds ridiculous when he puts it like that. How could Jensen be avoiding him if they're together all the time, every day, whole day long? It's still true, though.
They don't talk like they used to. Normally, Jensen would ask about his brother, if he'd called and how's New York, or what he thought of the last night's game as if Jared's opinion was important to him, or how his grandpa was doing after the surgery. Of course, he'd ask these things when they were alone. They're never alone anymore.
So yes, Jensen's avoiding him. He says your turn when they play cards and Jared zones out and pass the popcorn while there's still some left when they're watching a movie, but he never looks at him.
Jared doesn't look at him ether. What he does is steal glances when he gets the chance. Then he feels guilty. Sometimes he thinks Jensen might be feeling guilty, too, and he wants to tell him not to. That it's okay. That he's okay. But he can't say anything. Because Jensen won't even look at him.
~*~
"I'm bored," Steve complains predictably.
"Jesus," Jensen rolls his eyes. "Change the tune, would ya."
Steve looks affronted but before he can say anything, Chris cuts in, "Who's up for a ride? I sense some negative energy to be burned here."
Steve says he's in immediately. Jared shrugs. Jensen gets up and says, "All right. See you here in 10."
They meet in front of Steve's house, each on a bike. The air is heavy with humidity and heat and Jared is sweating already, under his armpits and at the back of his neck. Fifteen minutes on the bike and he'll be soaked through and through. He doesn't remember sweating this much last summer. But then again, there's a lot of things he's never had to deal with until recently.
"My Momma said it's gonna rain," he says. The moment the words are out of his mouth, he realises what he must've sounded like.
"Did your momma also told you to be home before dark, Jaybird?" Chris teases. Jared's cheeks turn red.
Jensen gets on his bike and takes off without a word.
"What's his problem?" Chris asks no one in particular but hurries after him before anyone can answer. Jared wouldn't know what to say anyway. Instead, he just tries to keep up with his friends as best as he can.
Steve's yapping next to him as they pass rows of houses, then a few scattered ones, until there's just a dusty, empty road in between fields of wheat stretching ahead of them. The sun creates illusion of water on the asphalt. Jared feels drops of sweat rolling down his temples. It itches.
Jensen's in front of him, pedaling relentlessly. Jared never takes an eye off him. He watches the stretch of his legs as they go up and down. He watches the muscles on his back shift under the t-shirt that clings to his body like a second skin, a vee shaped part of it darkened with sweat. He turns his head slightly talking to Chris and Jared catches a glimpse of the tip of the tongue licking the full bottom lip. His breath catches and he has to force himself to look away before this bicycle seat gets even less comfortable.
They've been driving around for a while when it becomes clear that Jared's mom was right. The once bright blue sky is draped over with clouds in deep stormy shade of gray. The wind starts to blow out of nowhere, raising the dust that bites their eyes. Keeping their heads down is not helping any. There's a roar of thunder in the distance. It's coming closer. There's no time to turn back. They'll never outrun the storm.
"We've just passed the cow farm," Jensen yells and the wind takes his voice, carries his words with it. "There's an old slaughter house nearby but we gotta hurry!"
They really step on it following Jensen, relying more on feeling then sight because it's getting darker by the second, what with the clouds gathering and the dust swirling in the air. They reach the abandoned building just as the first heavy drops of rain hit the ground.
Chris shakes the handle on the front door and to Jared's surprise, it gives in. Chris enters pushing his bike along and leaves the door ajar. They follow him to the dreary interior of their provisional shelter.
The smell that hits Jared's nostrils almost makes him heave. He swallows it down and makes an effort of breathing through his mouth until he adjusts.
"Man, it smells like something died in here," Chris says scrunching his nose.
"Thank you, Cpt. Obvious," Jensen says and gets flipped off in return.
He sounds unusually bitter, but at least he's talking. Jared wants to close his eyes, shut out the little light coming through the few windows way up above the ceiling, and let that voice wash over him. He doesn't.
There's a hallway on the right and he follows it. He turns left as he reaches the corner and there are some sort of stalls in the wall, no doors stopping him from entering one of them. There's some sort of a boiler still attached to the wall and Jared takes some time to look at it closely. He's bending down to see the inscription near its bottom when he hears footsteps behind him. He straightens up hastily and turns around only to find Jensen's standing at the doorway.
"Hey," he says, voice low and private, and comes in. Jared takes a few steps back but his retreat is stopped abruptly when he feels his back hit the rough, cold wall. Jensen doesn't stop moving until he's invading Jared's personal space, all but pressing against him. He doesn't break their eye contact as he leans on his palms placed just above Jared's shoulders.
He is so close. Jared can feel his breath against his cheek when he leans in just an inch closer and whispers, "Scared?"
"N-no," Jared chokes out.
The truth is, he's terrified. His heart is beating frantically all the way up in his throat but he just can't look away. He's afraid of what Jensen will do next. He's scared Jensen would just walk away before he...
Jensen lowers his eyes a little, moves slightly, shifting his weight on one hand, and lets the other curl around Jared's neck. The fingers burn on Jared's skin as they make their way into his hair, damp and curling at the ends with sweat. The thumb gently traces the ridge of his collar bone.
Jared closes his eyes shutting out everything but that sensation on his skin. He lets his head fall back against the wall. It's getting hard to breathe when his mouth feel like cotton. He licks his lips without thinking. He hears Jensen gasp and there's a leg coming in between his thighs, pressing against him. He's hard, he realises. It surprises him even more that Jensen is too. His hips jerk involuntarily into the pressure, searching for more, hands clawing into the concrete behind him looking for support his knees are failing to provide.
Jensen's hand comes up from his neck to cup his cheek and he says, "Look at me."
Jared opens his eyes, lets them stray to Jensen's lips.
"Jay," Jensen says as his thumb catches Jared's bottom lip, "can I..."
"Yeah," Jared barely breathes and then Jensen kisses him.
It's not more than a ghost touch of lips on lips, Jensen's soft and slick with saliva, warm against Jared's dry and unmoving. It's a kiss that lasts for an eternity and ends entirely too soon when Jensen pulls away, before Jared can even think to kiss back.
Jared's whole body shivers with the loss of Jensen's body heat as he steps away.
"I'm sorry," he says shaking his head, not looking at Jared. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have..."
Jared reaches out to him thinking Jen and please and stay and Jensen, but Jensen turns away in an attempt to get out. It's not before Jensen runs into him that Jared notices Chris standing at the doorway. He can see Jensen's trying to come up with some, any explanation, but he suspects his mind is just as blank as Jared's. Chris doesn't insist on one, just says, "The rain stopped." He turns to leave, then throws a look over his shoulder. "Jensen?"
"I'm coming," Jensen snaps and all but runs out.
Jared trails behind, disappointment and embarrassment washing him over as he wonders what he did wrong. It's his fault Jensen got mad, he's sure, and he doesn't know how to fix it. He should've spoken, he should've said something, he should've told Jensen it was all right. But he didn't and now he doesn't know if he'll ever get him back.
Next
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Rating: PG-13
Word count: 1 700
Warning: Underaged boys (13 and 17)
Summary: There's no time to turn back. They'll never outrun the storm.
Disclaimer: Yeah, not really.
Previous
There's a strong body pressed against his, curious hands roaming all over his skin, pressing and squeezing and smoothing. Warm breath is tickling his earlobe, then underneath it, as lips trail their path down to where neck meets shoulder.
"Please... please," he begs. "Please... just..."
Offering more skin to the hungry mouth, he turns his head to the side and -
- opens his eyes.
He's drenched in sweat, sheet tangled around his legs, and it takes a while until he can free himself out of it. He can feel a damp stain soaked into the front of his underwear as the cool night air hits him.
"Ugh," he groans. "Fuck." He blushes slightly at the curse, but even more so at the urge to say sorry, Momma right away even though she's not even there to hear him. Stupid kid, he thinks. That's exactly why... But he doesn't let himself finish the thought, just gets up and changes his underwear. He pours himself a glass of water before returning to bed for a few more, this time dreamless, hours of sleep.
~*~
It's been three weeks - nineteen days, but who's counting - since... since.
Jensen has been avoiding him the whole time. He knows it sounds ridiculous when he puts it like that. How could Jensen be avoiding him if they're together all the time, every day, whole day long? It's still true, though.
They don't talk like they used to. Normally, Jensen would ask about his brother, if he'd called and how's New York, or what he thought of the last night's game as if Jared's opinion was important to him, or how his grandpa was doing after the surgery. Of course, he'd ask these things when they were alone. They're never alone anymore.
So yes, Jensen's avoiding him. He says your turn when they play cards and Jared zones out and pass the popcorn while there's still some left when they're watching a movie, but he never looks at him.
Jared doesn't look at him ether. What he does is steal glances when he gets the chance. Then he feels guilty. Sometimes he thinks Jensen might be feeling guilty, too, and he wants to tell him not to. That it's okay. That he's okay. But he can't say anything. Because Jensen won't even look at him.
~*~
"I'm bored," Steve complains predictably.
"Jesus," Jensen rolls his eyes. "Change the tune, would ya."
Steve looks affronted but before he can say anything, Chris cuts in, "Who's up for a ride? I sense some negative energy to be burned here."
Steve says he's in immediately. Jared shrugs. Jensen gets up and says, "All right. See you here in 10."
They meet in front of Steve's house, each on a bike. The air is heavy with humidity and heat and Jared is sweating already, under his armpits and at the back of his neck. Fifteen minutes on the bike and he'll be soaked through and through. He doesn't remember sweating this much last summer. But then again, there's a lot of things he's never had to deal with until recently.
"My Momma said it's gonna rain," he says. The moment the words are out of his mouth, he realises what he must've sounded like.
"Did your momma also told you to be home before dark, Jaybird?" Chris teases. Jared's cheeks turn red.
Jensen gets on his bike and takes off without a word.
"What's his problem?" Chris asks no one in particular but hurries after him before anyone can answer. Jared wouldn't know what to say anyway. Instead, he just tries to keep up with his friends as best as he can.
Steve's yapping next to him as they pass rows of houses, then a few scattered ones, until there's just a dusty, empty road in between fields of wheat stretching ahead of them. The sun creates illusion of water on the asphalt. Jared feels drops of sweat rolling down his temples. It itches.
Jensen's in front of him, pedaling relentlessly. Jared never takes an eye off him. He watches the stretch of his legs as they go up and down. He watches the muscles on his back shift under the t-shirt that clings to his body like a second skin, a vee shaped part of it darkened with sweat. He turns his head slightly talking to Chris and Jared catches a glimpse of the tip of the tongue licking the full bottom lip. His breath catches and he has to force himself to look away before this bicycle seat gets even less comfortable.
They've been driving around for a while when it becomes clear that Jared's mom was right. The once bright blue sky is draped over with clouds in deep stormy shade of gray. The wind starts to blow out of nowhere, raising the dust that bites their eyes. Keeping their heads down is not helping any. There's a roar of thunder in the distance. It's coming closer. There's no time to turn back. They'll never outrun the storm.
"We've just passed the cow farm," Jensen yells and the wind takes his voice, carries his words with it. "There's an old slaughter house nearby but we gotta hurry!"
They really step on it following Jensen, relying more on feeling then sight because it's getting darker by the second, what with the clouds gathering and the dust swirling in the air. They reach the abandoned building just as the first heavy drops of rain hit the ground.
Chris shakes the handle on the front door and to Jared's surprise, it gives in. Chris enters pushing his bike along and leaves the door ajar. They follow him to the dreary interior of their provisional shelter.
The smell that hits Jared's nostrils almost makes him heave. He swallows it down and makes an effort of breathing through his mouth until he adjusts.
"Man, it smells like something died in here," Chris says scrunching his nose.
"Thank you, Cpt. Obvious," Jensen says and gets flipped off in return.
He sounds unusually bitter, but at least he's talking. Jared wants to close his eyes, shut out the little light coming through the few windows way up above the ceiling, and let that voice wash over him. He doesn't.
There's a hallway on the right and he follows it. He turns left as he reaches the corner and there are some sort of stalls in the wall, no doors stopping him from entering one of them. There's some sort of a boiler still attached to the wall and Jared takes some time to look at it closely. He's bending down to see the inscription near its bottom when he hears footsteps behind him. He straightens up hastily and turns around only to find Jensen's standing at the doorway.
"Hey," he says, voice low and private, and comes in. Jared takes a few steps back but his retreat is stopped abruptly when he feels his back hit the rough, cold wall. Jensen doesn't stop moving until he's invading Jared's personal space, all but pressing against him. He doesn't break their eye contact as he leans on his palms placed just above Jared's shoulders.
He is so close. Jared can feel his breath against his cheek when he leans in just an inch closer and whispers, "Scared?"
"N-no," Jared chokes out.
The truth is, he's terrified. His heart is beating frantically all the way up in his throat but he just can't look away. He's afraid of what Jensen will do next. He's scared Jensen would just walk away before he...
Jensen lowers his eyes a little, moves slightly, shifting his weight on one hand, and lets the other curl around Jared's neck. The fingers burn on Jared's skin as they make their way into his hair, damp and curling at the ends with sweat. The thumb gently traces the ridge of his collar bone.
Jared closes his eyes shutting out everything but that sensation on his skin. He lets his head fall back against the wall. It's getting hard to breathe when his mouth feel like cotton. He licks his lips without thinking. He hears Jensen gasp and there's a leg coming in between his thighs, pressing against him. He's hard, he realises. It surprises him even more that Jensen is too. His hips jerk involuntarily into the pressure, searching for more, hands clawing into the concrete behind him looking for support his knees are failing to provide.
Jensen's hand comes up from his neck to cup his cheek and he says, "Look at me."
Jared opens his eyes, lets them stray to Jensen's lips.
"Jay," Jensen says as his thumb catches Jared's bottom lip, "can I..."
"Yeah," Jared barely breathes and then Jensen kisses him.
It's not more than a ghost touch of lips on lips, Jensen's soft and slick with saliva, warm against Jared's dry and unmoving. It's a kiss that lasts for an eternity and ends entirely too soon when Jensen pulls away, before Jared can even think to kiss back.
Jared's whole body shivers with the loss of Jensen's body heat as he steps away.
"I'm sorry," he says shaking his head, not looking at Jared. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have..."
Jared reaches out to him thinking Jen and please and stay and Jensen, but Jensen turns away in an attempt to get out. It's not before Jensen runs into him that Jared notices Chris standing at the doorway. He can see Jensen's trying to come up with some, any explanation, but he suspects his mind is just as blank as Jared's. Chris doesn't insist on one, just says, "The rain stopped." He turns to leave, then throws a look over his shoulder. "Jensen?"
"I'm coming," Jensen snaps and all but runs out.
Jared trails behind, disappointment and embarrassment washing him over as he wonders what he did wrong. It's his fault Jensen got mad, he's sure, and he doesn't know how to fix it. He should've spoken, he should've said something, he should've told Jensen it was all right. But he didn't and now he doesn't know if he'll ever get him back.
Next