my life.
do you think i deserve more than i get?
Am i just so self centered that i think i deserve more in my life? more credit, more freedom, just more.
Im just so sick of doing things and not getting anything for it. i use the example of school, how i (used to) get good marks and all i got was a fucking piece of paper saying im an honor roll student, my parents say good job and on goes my life. im not doing well im school this year, and i just know im going to be bitched at. its like they'll forget how good i used to be.
Im mad lately because i want my lip pierced.... i know its a stupid thing to be mad about but shit builds up right? I showed my mom a picture of what i want.... put on the picture that i'll do anything to get that (ie. clean room, chores, buy her chocolates) when i get home for work, she says to me "your dad says no and i definately say no!" (i hope your proud that she didnt cave stacey) but dont i deserve a little more choice in my life. im 8 months away from being 18. SO fine i'll fuckin wait til then, and since i can, i guarentee you i'll go wild with it. Its stupid that once i turn 18 im suddenly eligible to have ideas. is my choice to get piercings anyones choice but mine? so since when was my body someone elses? i dont understand and she wont tell me why not. she just says no. and ya i get that she loves the way i look (im her lil girl) but what i look like has nothing to do with me! does she think i wont be the same person?
i know i shouldnt compare, but cerina. cerinas mom lets her get piercings. she even wanted her to get a tattoo. but she doesnt let her drink, and when she found out that my mom lets me drink she just couldnt believe it, but she also couldnt believe that i wasnt aloud to get my lip pierced. she kept asking me "well why not?" and all i can say is "im just not aloud"
I guess though where i loose out im gaining in the fact that i've been drinking since i was who knows how old, 12? (not alcoholiclly)
why cant i have the best of both worlds?
I dont know if anyone knows what im like at home, but im a GOOD kid. i'm respectful, generous, i dont argue for no reason. i try SO hard to keep the balance because of my dick of a brother who seems to just fuckin argue with my mom and upset everyone and i dont do that. i try and make my parents lives REALLY good. So i'm just really upset when karma doesnt spin that way. things like that make me wonder, well what im i really doing wrong then?
---------kris