(no subject)
school starts tomorrow. im scared. what if people are mean to me. worse, what if no one wants me on their kickball team? i really am scared. i hope i dont have a class in which participation counts for something. thats the kind of class i do horrible in. like, if you have to raise your hand and voice your opinion FOR A GRADE. no no no. see its different if the teacher calls on people, the teacher can even call on me, that is acceptable. but when its all on me to raise my hand, i just cant do it! i become a mute. my arms are frozen by my sides and my vocal cords are all mangled and all i can do is sit and look at the clock and wonder how these people are managing to survive this without flinching. im pretty sure i wont have any classes like that cause they are pretty big lecture classes, but i do have 2 discussion groups which i find somewhat frightening. see, i really can only talk with one person per class. i just simply cannot start chatting with random individuals about the wind and rain or the fact that my alarm clock didnt go off this morning. i usually just sit there and wait for some nice person to ask me for a pen and then i might ask them what page we are supposed to be on and then maybe we could be freinds from there on out. its weird cause i really am quite personable and maybe sometimes even freindly i just have problems breaking the ice i guess.