No don't mean yes, it means no.
I wish there was a way to undo whats been done. To renew the used. To make innocent the guilty.
A real and true way to forget the past.
If I could, I would erase it. Just like Eternal Sunshine. I really think I would.
Or if I had a rewind button. Or if then I could have seen the future. What would I have done?
Well for one. I'd have focused my friendships elsewhere. Building better ones. More dependable ones. Because honestly, I don't know how many people are true in my life. Sincere, honest, dependable people... I guess to have a real friend you have to be a real friend.. and I guess I wasn't. And I'm still not. I feel like its a terrible lonely bitter cycle. I'm angry and it ruins me... I'm ruined and it makes me angry.
RUINED.
I guess theres no mistake too big for God to fix. No I don't guess. I know. But still. I am human. If I were God I could forget everything. I could remember it and not care. I could not even see it. I could have never let it happen.
I could have never let it happen.
Im the one who stole. Im the one who loved too much. FORCING love on someone when they DONT WANT IT. They dont want it. Sure I shouldn't dwell. But I will dwell, its all I know how to do anymore. I've never focused so much on one thing I think its driving me a little crazy but I dont know how to stop.
I DREAM about it. The next time I will be betrayed. Can I ever let someone in? Will I ever be well? I know I'm going to go around hurting people. Numb to what I'm doing.
everyone could have seen this coming and I could have too but I used to see the best and the potential and now I only think how this person is using me and their motives arent pure and whatever else there is to hide from me I cant show them myself because theyll damage what is real and you cant even touch what is just pretend so I will pretend that I still feel the same inside about the outside still feel the same about you or myself but guess what I KNOW I know there is no turning back and someday it will catch up to me and I will learn how to burn the bridges and cut the ties that make life so hard even though burning bridges wont fix the problem because you cant fix the problem its not a mistake its a life changing catastrophe its not just a mess up its damaging irreparable damage and turning my back on all of you wont do a damn thing to fix whats going on in me because I will remember what you did and what you meant for my life and it won't be good thoughts really i will blame you for everything i will never stop being able to blame you for myself.
I do know its all my fault. I really do know.
IM THE ONE WHO LET THIS HAPPEN.
A real and true way to forget the past.
If I could, I would erase it. Just like Eternal Sunshine. I really think I would.
Or if I had a rewind button. Or if then I could have seen the future. What would I have done?
Well for one. I'd have focused my friendships elsewhere. Building better ones. More dependable ones. Because honestly, I don't know how many people are true in my life. Sincere, honest, dependable people... I guess to have a real friend you have to be a real friend.. and I guess I wasn't. And I'm still not. I feel like its a terrible lonely bitter cycle. I'm angry and it ruins me... I'm ruined and it makes me angry.
RUINED.
I guess theres no mistake too big for God to fix. No I don't guess. I know. But still. I am human. If I were God I could forget everything. I could remember it and not care. I could not even see it. I could have never let it happen.
I could have never let it happen.
Im the one who stole. Im the one who loved too much. FORCING love on someone when they DONT WANT IT. They dont want it. Sure I shouldn't dwell. But I will dwell, its all I know how to do anymore. I've never focused so much on one thing I think its driving me a little crazy but I dont know how to stop.
I DREAM about it. The next time I will be betrayed. Can I ever let someone in? Will I ever be well? I know I'm going to go around hurting people. Numb to what I'm doing.
everyone could have seen this coming and I could have too but I used to see the best and the potential and now I only think how this person is using me and their motives arent pure and whatever else there is to hide from me I cant show them myself because theyll damage what is real and you cant even touch what is just pretend so I will pretend that I still feel the same inside about the outside still feel the same about you or myself but guess what I KNOW I know there is no turning back and someday it will catch up to me and I will learn how to burn the bridges and cut the ties that make life so hard even though burning bridges wont fix the problem because you cant fix the problem its not a mistake its a life changing catastrophe its not just a mess up its damaging irreparable damage and turning my back on all of you wont do a damn thing to fix whats going on in me because I will remember what you did and what you meant for my life and it won't be good thoughts really i will blame you for everything i will never stop being able to blame you for myself.
I do know its all my fault. I really do know.
IM THE ONE WHO LET THIS HAPPEN.