on thoughts and tears..
:-(
words are not enough to describe how i felt receiving a very straightforward message saying a loved one has past away. i want to close my eyes and believe it's just a dream, but still it isn't. i could still recount the very moment when i talked with him in a warm Sunday afternoon. his face looked kind and compassionate. i know he can't anymore speak due to his serious illness but he tried to utter a word upon seeing us all visiting him. he asked me if i have yet taken my lunch and i answered with a shook. he showed genuine concern even though i wasn't that close with him. i remenber the day when i was a kid, he would loved to bring me to wild parts of a mountain.. explore the adventurous scape with his mighty carabao and oh how i feel so happy!
i spent the whole day lying in a couch watching the television, munching some native cooked delicacies prepared by the kinsfolk and just totally ignored nor opened a conversation with them. i acted like a rude brat and an apathetic drama queen and i resent that....
Tuesday , 10 am july 15
i received an im from my aunt. "he's gone". i....uh..... don't know what to say but tears kept sweeping through my cheeks and next thing i knew, i covered my face, burst into tears and the other thing seemed like a blur. i was out of my mind... if only i could turn back time...
then i would hug him and tell him how much he means to me though we seldom see each other for a year or so and that he's the best grandpa in the world...
i love you, 'lo...
words are not enough to describe how i felt receiving a very straightforward message saying a loved one has past away. i want to close my eyes and believe it's just a dream, but still it isn't. i could still recount the very moment when i talked with him in a warm Sunday afternoon. his face looked kind and compassionate. i know he can't anymore speak due to his serious illness but he tried to utter a word upon seeing us all visiting him. he asked me if i have yet taken my lunch and i answered with a shook. he showed genuine concern even though i wasn't that close with him. i remenber the day when i was a kid, he would loved to bring me to wild parts of a mountain.. explore the adventurous scape with his mighty carabao and oh how i feel so happy!
i spent the whole day lying in a couch watching the television, munching some native cooked delicacies prepared by the kinsfolk and just totally ignored nor opened a conversation with them. i acted like a rude brat and an apathetic drama queen and i resent that....
Tuesday , 10 am july 15
i received an im from my aunt. "he's gone". i....uh..... don't know what to say but tears kept sweeping through my cheeks and next thing i knew, i covered my face, burst into tears and the other thing seemed like a blur. i was out of my mind... if only i could turn back time...
then i would hug him and tell him how much he means to me though we seldom see each other for a year or so and that he's the best grandpa in the world...
i love you, 'lo...