(no subject)
So the first two days of class went ok, I guess. My Cities, Communities and Urban Life class should be pretty cool. I get to pick a neighborhood in downtown manhattan to basically own for the semester, to track population change and demographics and stuff over time. I'm actually really excited about that, cause I'm a sucker for demographics. I just think they're really fascinating. I really want Little Italy, cause it's changed radically, from being a massive neighborhood of Italians to being basically squeezed down into two blocks and now home to lots of Chinese and Vietnamese immigrants.
I think I'm gonna like Sex Gender and the Bible too. Mostly because I love the Bible, and we're concentrating on the Hebrew Bible, aka the Old Testament, which I've always thought was much more interesting than the New Testament. And my teacher is this crazy old Israeli lady named Yael Feldman and she's really funny.
Thenn I LOVE my Public Policy and the Arts class. It's super small, and the teacher basically has the life I want. She's done Art Policy for her entire career but she's lived all throughout South America and in Washington and New York and London and France and she's started her own Cultural Think Tank and now runs a nonprofit in the US that integrates all aspects of the arts, social justice, and foreign affairs. I want to be her someday.
The only class I'm not so sure I'm going to like is my Art & City class. I just feel like the class is so pretentious. The teacher is this flamboyant gay man who said that he studies ELITES and that was an unpopular decision among other sociologists because they are supposed to study the OPPRESSED and DOWNTRODDEN but that he didn't believe in that. The teacher told us to suck it up and buy the seven books for this class because "they cost a relative PITTANCE compared to the cost of your education." Well, true. $300 in books is a pittance compared to $45,000. But some of us are not trust fund babies and are being seriously helped to pay for our education and $300 in books is a big deal. And I felt like a douchebag just looking at the books I had to buy for that class. Neo-Bohemia? Loft Living? Trustees of Culture? The Rise of the Creative Class? Ugh.
So Andrew told me he used to be suicidal. We were talking about Heath Ledger and I said I hoped it wasn't suicide and he responded "As someone who's been suicidal I can understand the impulse but not the followthrough. I actually felt that way last night. I cried. I'm sorry to be telling you this but I need to unload or it wells up inside." And I feel awful now, but I was half asleep when he texted me that, and I had no idea how to respond in a text message so all I said was "that's awful. are you ok today?" I know realize the better response would have been to call him. But he said he was ok and I tried to be in touch with him all yesterday to make sure he was ok and he seems to be.
But he's actually the 4th guy who has liked me who's been suicidal. I'm seeing a trend, and I don't think I'm imagining it anymore. I just want a stable man who I won't have to remind to take his meds.
Is it bad that whenever someone has an unhappy away message up I rack my brains to think if I remember doing anything wrong? Am I really that selfish?
I think I'm gonna like Sex Gender and the Bible too. Mostly because I love the Bible, and we're concentrating on the Hebrew Bible, aka the Old Testament, which I've always thought was much more interesting than the New Testament. And my teacher is this crazy old Israeli lady named Yael Feldman and she's really funny.
Thenn I LOVE my Public Policy and the Arts class. It's super small, and the teacher basically has the life I want. She's done Art Policy for her entire career but she's lived all throughout South America and in Washington and New York and London and France and she's started her own Cultural Think Tank and now runs a nonprofit in the US that integrates all aspects of the arts, social justice, and foreign affairs. I want to be her someday.
The only class I'm not so sure I'm going to like is my Art & City class. I just feel like the class is so pretentious. The teacher is this flamboyant gay man who said that he studies ELITES and that was an unpopular decision among other sociologists because they are supposed to study the OPPRESSED and DOWNTRODDEN but that he didn't believe in that. The teacher told us to suck it up and buy the seven books for this class because "they cost a relative PITTANCE compared to the cost of your education." Well, true. $300 in books is a pittance compared to $45,000. But some of us are not trust fund babies and are being seriously helped to pay for our education and $300 in books is a big deal. And I felt like a douchebag just looking at the books I had to buy for that class. Neo-Bohemia? Loft Living? Trustees of Culture? The Rise of the Creative Class? Ugh.
So Andrew told me he used to be suicidal. We were talking about Heath Ledger and I said I hoped it wasn't suicide and he responded "As someone who's been suicidal I can understand the impulse but not the followthrough. I actually felt that way last night. I cried. I'm sorry to be telling you this but I need to unload or it wells up inside." And I feel awful now, but I was half asleep when he texted me that, and I had no idea how to respond in a text message so all I said was "that's awful. are you ok today?" I know realize the better response would have been to call him. But he said he was ok and I tried to be in touch with him all yesterday to make sure he was ok and he seems to be.
But he's actually the 4th guy who has liked me who's been suicidal. I'm seeing a trend, and I don't think I'm imagining it anymore. I just want a stable man who I won't have to remind to take his meds.
Is it bad that whenever someone has an unhappy away message up I rack my brains to think if I remember doing anything wrong? Am I really that selfish?