(no subject)
So, yeah. Oxford rejected me this afternoon. Actually... they probably rejected me after the interview.
It really wasn't that much of a surprise really. When we won the Target 2.0 thing, I think i was hit by dissapointment because I knew that there is NO way i'd get into Oxford as well. It works like this. Lows follow highs. Nothing is ever constant in my life.
I think the worst thing is, Anna really expected me to get in. She said so many times: "I have great hopes for you" and she sent me a text today saying something along the lines of: "Have you heard from oxford yet? I kept my fingers crossed for you all this time. Please get back to me if you've heard anything."
It sort of made me feel like a big failure. Like... who people think I am is so far from the truth of how miniscule my talents are.
So I was walking around with mom in a semi-daze after I heard the news. And then she said something really philosophical. She told me that my dad used to say that a degree is merely a dance ticket. What you do on the dance floor has nothing to do with that ticket - it's all you. I had to laugh. That sounds exactly like dad.
And I guess major rejection every now and again tempers your soul so that you may be stronger and more resilient.
I am a little sad... but I'm not the sort that would dwell on it for long. There will be other dance tickets... other chances for me to push myself, to prove to myself that i'm amazing. And... I feel that this can only be for the best. Usually, when something bad happens, it always turns out to be the better path/choice in the long run. Maybe Gluck and I will go to the same university.
FINALLY! I can concentrate on X'mas. Mom got me body butter from Bodyshop. *rubs hands in glee* Damn right. I'm just going to smell SOO good, i won't be able to resist myself.
It really wasn't that much of a surprise really. When we won the Target 2.0 thing, I think i was hit by dissapointment because I knew that there is NO way i'd get into Oxford as well. It works like this. Lows follow highs. Nothing is ever constant in my life.
I think the worst thing is, Anna really expected me to get in. She said so many times: "I have great hopes for you" and she sent me a text today saying something along the lines of: "Have you heard from oxford yet? I kept my fingers crossed for you all this time. Please get back to me if you've heard anything."
It sort of made me feel like a big failure. Like... who people think I am is so far from the truth of how miniscule my talents are.
So I was walking around with mom in a semi-daze after I heard the news. And then she said something really philosophical. She told me that my dad used to say that a degree is merely a dance ticket. What you do on the dance floor has nothing to do with that ticket - it's all you. I had to laugh. That sounds exactly like dad.
And I guess major rejection every now and again tempers your soul so that you may be stronger and more resilient.
I am a little sad... but I'm not the sort that would dwell on it for long. There will be other dance tickets... other chances for me to push myself, to prove to myself that i'm amazing. And... I feel that this can only be for the best. Usually, when something bad happens, it always turns out to be the better path/choice in the long run. Maybe Gluck and I will go to the same university.
FINALLY! I can concentrate on X'mas. Mom got me body butter from Bodyshop. *rubs hands in glee* Damn right. I'm just going to smell SOO good, i won't be able to resist myself.