i am a...
i've spent the better part of the past 7 years of my life as a rollerblader. everything i did and how i did it somehow revolved around that fact. as the years drag on now it is harder and harder to figure out who i am... i was that person for so long that now that i have given up on that part of my life i dont know which direction i want to head. i'm not saying that i regret being a rollerblader, because without that i wouldnt have became who i am today. i've always been one to believe that the decisions we make and the people we were define who we are and who we will become. at this point i dont know if i'll ever do any damage to the brand new pair of deshis that have sat in my trunk since i got a car. even having a car reminds me of rollerblading when i was 15 and i would think to myself, i cant wait til i'm old enough to drive and get my own car, i'm gonna skate so much when that happens, and go so many places. now i have no destination. what am i supposed to do with myself, how am i supposed to define myself. everyone has their cliche stereotype they fit into whether they accept it or not, and now i don't know where i fit in. before i was ever a rollerblader i was an artist, i loved to draw, and whenever i got bored i would doodle a picture of something i saw, or try and copy a drawing i saw. once i started rollerblading though i let that part of me drift away. i tried to branch being a rollerblader into something more for myself, and i had the dream of starting up my own company, i had it all planned out, i'd start out local just selling tshirts and whatnot, and then as i started to profit more and more i'd start making different things until eventually i was able to start up my own skate company. the dream seemed so obtainable then, and now, looking back i had so much passion for rollerblading then that anything i did that involved it was possible and real. but i gave up on that dream as well. the one thing i know that hasnt changed about me though is my capability to dream. i still do it all the time, whether its little things like getting up the courage to tell someone what i think, or big things like getting a real job, a place to live, or starting up my own business. i know i have the potential to achieve anything i want to if i can dream it hard enough. i only wish i knew what to dream