Chastising myself

Nov 11, 2005 16:59

Well, here I am, after one month once again. A little more this time, even.

First, to the subject in the headline. Recently, I've had a couple of lapses of judgment in the manner in which I speak to people.

In one case, for example, a seemingly harmless light-hearted joke by me about a person was possibly warped by the receiver of that joke into hostility towards the subject of the joke. I only realized in 20/20 hindsight that it could have been taken that way. However, I fault myself and not the receiver, as I have come to expect a certain level of foresight from myself. I should have realized that what I said could be taken as offensive. Jackass action #1.

In the second case, a mere aside comment that I made about something I heard to a certain party was an aside comment that should not have been made by me, for that comment caused that certain party express annoyance at a third party and bring their discontent back to that third party, while perhaps mentioning my name. This would in turn cause the third party to think I am a ratting assclown, and perhaps rightfully so. I should have had the foresight to have NEVER said anything on the matter, offhand or not; it was not my business anyway. Jackass action #2.

If you followed the two above scenarios, I commend you for your understanding.

In summary, in both cases, my actions fostered a significant amount of negative feelings in others. I don't like doing that to people; that's the good and bad of having a conscience. It doesn't help when both people and my own self are angry at me, either.

The reason I wrote the above in such a manner is so that it doesn't apply to a specific person only. Indeed, there was a recent case with specific people for each, but if the reader feels that I have committed such crimes against him/her, let him/her be assured that I do NOT feel good about it at ALL (also, I don't like identifying people in ANY way when I'm blogging in any negative context).

So reader, if you believe you are part of either case, please accept my apology, or feel free to confront me and chew me out, cuz God knows I might just deserve it.

I will use these occurrences as a lesson to exercise better judgment in what I say to people from now on. Wallowing in the guilt and low self-esteem I feel about all this would not be prudent; rather, I should use the alleviation of such negative feelings as an incentive to be a better person.

With that out of the way...

Week 11 of academics has begun. I've continued to perform up to snuff (except in my lab class... I'm oddly struggling there). I recently found out that I only have to take 39 more credits over 3 semesters to graduate. That leaves quite a bit of leeway for me. =)

I don't feel like I deserve someone right now, so my pursuit of a love life remains still on hold.

I've rearranged my schedule a bit for my job: I now only do one overnight and sunday morning. It won't affect my health as much.

The Glee Club trip to Wellesley is this weekend... this should prove interesting.

Well, that's all I got for you now. See you next time.
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