(no subject)
well i leave to palm springs in a bit, yes i will miss all you for the two days i will be gone. i leave tonight at 7, saturday ill be getting my shop on at lacoste and quiksliver. then sunday i will get a good buzz early in the day and then prepare for the ride home. yup, its trips like this where i thank god i dont drive. well i do have a licnese in texas that says in 22 ... *wink*
who can hook it up with fake IDs? serious? im tired of this bullshit of having to call up tommy, chris, or fraggles sister to buy us shit. ah well.
i get paid on tuesday a shitty ass paycheck cause i was away at camp. well hopefully i can pull it together and all will work out.
im going to start working out. im going to start playing basketball, i promise. but i hate doing stuff alone, but i know i need to start being a lil more independant. man, i used to do everything alone and i used to love it! i would go to movies without you, workout without you, get to places on my own without you, eat without you, now i cant do anything without you. why is that? man, fraggle messed up everything. also, i need to start going to church. my aunt really messed up my experiances. i used to hate going with her, having to sit up in front and her volunteering me to read lectors all the time and stuff, argh! i want to sit in the back adn meditate on my own. senior year when i would go to church alone (also without you) i loved it, it was totally chill.
i also decided that when i get older i am going to be a deacon, i wonder if girls can do it. i will do it for my grandma. as well as try doing the rosary.
whoa, with all these "i will ..." i feel like its new years resolutions all over again. well, lets just say im going to try turning over a new leaf.
well lots of friends are gone now. kaka and peanut went to the sequoias or something, irene in spain, etc. so i have no one to bug, hmm..
i feel a lil better about andy and i. i saw her online and i sent her a real quick message. as to whether she read it or not, or even knew what it was about, i think i said what i really needed to say in long time and i do feel good that i got it out. i wasnt going to send it, my knees were shaking and a frog was in my throat. but kathie told me i was strong and so i did it. it was kiling me. but i hit sent and it left my hands. she didnt reply, but thats ok, i told her how i felt and now i wish i had just stood up for myself more often. but its really hard for me to do that, i dont want to see the people around me leave, i feel like thats been happening my whole life and at that point in time, i felt like that all over again and that i had to choose. and so i did.
did i make the right choice? ill never know. do i regret it? yes. as much i hate to regret things, this i do. like i said, i shouldve stepped it up and just done what i wanted but i hate making waves and i was just looking for an easy way to make someone happy and now all i did was hurt my best friend and myself in the long run. dont get me wrong im SOOOOOO grateful for all the friends i have now and those i have made since ive stopped talking to her, but i have to be thankful to dre as well, casue i dont think i would be as open or even want to make friends if it wasnt for her. cause she is right, not everyone is coneiving, deceptive, a liar or out to get me, most people are genuine.
on that note, imma gonna slpit like a banana.
.nadine.
PS, i ate! i went to kathie and krystelles and this potato soup was bomb. the tuna sandwiche as well, man i miss tuna in the summer
PPS, party at my house sunday night i think... call the celly for details.
who can hook it up with fake IDs? serious? im tired of this bullshit of having to call up tommy, chris, or fraggles sister to buy us shit. ah well.
i get paid on tuesday a shitty ass paycheck cause i was away at camp. well hopefully i can pull it together and all will work out.
im going to start working out. im going to start playing basketball, i promise. but i hate doing stuff alone, but i know i need to start being a lil more independant. man, i used to do everything alone and i used to love it! i would go to movies without you, workout without you, get to places on my own without you, eat without you, now i cant do anything without you. why is that? man, fraggle messed up everything. also, i need to start going to church. my aunt really messed up my experiances. i used to hate going with her, having to sit up in front and her volunteering me to read lectors all the time and stuff, argh! i want to sit in the back adn meditate on my own. senior year when i would go to church alone (also without you) i loved it, it was totally chill.
i also decided that when i get older i am going to be a deacon, i wonder if girls can do it. i will do it for my grandma. as well as try doing the rosary.
whoa, with all these "i will ..." i feel like its new years resolutions all over again. well, lets just say im going to try turning over a new leaf.
well lots of friends are gone now. kaka and peanut went to the sequoias or something, irene in spain, etc. so i have no one to bug, hmm..
i feel a lil better about andy and i. i saw her online and i sent her a real quick message. as to whether she read it or not, or even knew what it was about, i think i said what i really needed to say in long time and i do feel good that i got it out. i wasnt going to send it, my knees were shaking and a frog was in my throat. but kathie told me i was strong and so i did it. it was kiling me. but i hit sent and it left my hands. she didnt reply, but thats ok, i told her how i felt and now i wish i had just stood up for myself more often. but its really hard for me to do that, i dont want to see the people around me leave, i feel like thats been happening my whole life and at that point in time, i felt like that all over again and that i had to choose. and so i did.
did i make the right choice? ill never know. do i regret it? yes. as much i hate to regret things, this i do. like i said, i shouldve stepped it up and just done what i wanted but i hate making waves and i was just looking for an easy way to make someone happy and now all i did was hurt my best friend and myself in the long run. dont get me wrong im SOOOOOO grateful for all the friends i have now and those i have made since ive stopped talking to her, but i have to be thankful to dre as well, casue i dont think i would be as open or even want to make friends if it wasnt for her. cause she is right, not everyone is coneiving, deceptive, a liar or out to get me, most people are genuine.
on that note, imma gonna slpit like a banana.
.nadine.
PS, i ate! i went to kathie and krystelles and this potato soup was bomb. the tuna sandwiche as well, man i miss tuna in the summer
PPS, party at my house sunday night i think... call the celly for details.