Eclipse
I
I admit: I felt my ears burning and my top flipping to the hot mercury rising in me when I first read it. I wasn't sure at first whether I was beyond flabbergasted or beyond furious. Later on, I found out it was the latter.
Then all too suddenly I remembered a lot of things.
The words we overtly exchanged and the gestures we surreptitiously made.
The heavenly too-good-to-be-true feeling that kept me afloat for days, and then the hellish crawling-in-the-dark state of confusion, doubt, and insecurity that immediately followed.
My brain, being stimulated by this shocking revelation, jumped the gun with sadistic gusto and began pumping in a barrage of what-ifs versus how-do-I-deal reels. It was like being shoot at by a Tommy gun in a classic mafia drive-by ambush, and the episodes all contained me trying to run and hide from "D"'s line of sight as if I'm some random person on the street suddenly accused of murder.
And it's true. His handsome face had ghosted behind my eyes for years, but now I fear seeing him in person, even in my make-believe, simulated encounters in the real, waking world.
II
I couldn't frame how angry I was about this whole..."flirting" thing that just went on, mainly because I can only think of one plausible reason why it transpired. With that, I realized that I still stand by what I had told him a few months back regarding the possibility of him and me working with the same company: I disapprove, and I still do now-with equal if not greater vehemence.
Now, if my gut is correct about that possibility, and that possibility is about to come true soon, then, I thought, I can start bidding 'goodbye' to my stressful days and saying 'hello' to the long, excruciating, and harsh reality of the coming weeks.
III
When I felt the mercury receding and now halfway my head, I read "D"'s tweet again and think to myself, "Hey, you should be happy." If he's going to be part of the big family soon, then so be it. Besides, such "business strategies", no matter how personally unpleasant they may be, only renders any rank and file such as myself powerless to do anything.
To the heavens, I lift up my tired eyes and feeble hands. With parched lips, I plead to my King: Thy will be done.