Electricity, Magic, and Touch (Andrew/Jesse)
Title: Electricity, Magic, and Touch
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Andrew/Jesse
Word count: ~6,500
Summary: Andrew and Jesse were attracted to each other the second their eyes met. It wasn’t love at first sight, though; just attraction. They would get to the love part later on.
Disclaimer: Fiction, not getting paid, don't know or own the people.
Andrew and Jesse were attracted to each other the second their eyes met. It wasn’t love at first sight, though; just attraction. They would get to the love part later on.
When Jesse walked into the large, bland conference room to do the first reading of the script, Fincher following right behind him, his eyes quickly scanned all the people sitting around the table before resting on Andrew, who looked up at the two newcomers. The man Jesse couldn’t stop staring at had a rugged face, hair messy and chin bearing a five o’clock shadow, but soft accents, his neck long and lips full. His eyes were intense as they bore into Jesse’s yet not threatening or dangerous. All the contrasts this man had made Jesse’s brain fuzzy.
Andrew had been smiling at first, having been talking to Armie about how the English really weren’t as proper as Americans made them out, but when Jesse’s eyes connected with his, his smile began to fall. It wasn’t because he was any less happy, quite the contrary, but because he was so suddenly overwhelmed. This man was the most delicate, beautiful creature he had ever seen in his life. He was short, very obviously vulnerable, pale, and gorgeous. Everything about him screamed something that Andrew loved and he couldn’t bring himself to look away.
Fincher put a hand on Jesse’s shoulder, causing him to stand up straighter. “Attention, everyone, this is Jesse, our Mark in the film.”
Jesse smiled shyly and glanced at everyone once more before letting his eyes fall on Andrew again, who mouthed Jesse’s name and bit his bottom lip upon completing the last syllable.
Fincher directed Jesse to an empty seat that was directly across from Andrew and sat beside him. “Now, Jesse, this is Andrew, our Eduardo. As you both have been told, you’ll be living together once we get on location, so talk a little once we’re done to get to know each other a bit better.
“Next to him is Armie, who’ll be portraying the twins…”
Upon mentioning the living situation, Andrew’s eyebrow rose just slightly and Jesse responded by mouthing Andrew’s name to himself with a small smile.
Once the read-through was complete, everyone rose from their chairs to shake hands and give compliments. Although Andrew and Jesse avoided making physical contact, their eyes were constantly catching each others to make their hearts pound a little harder if only for a few beats.
After the small talk conversations of everyone began to conclude, they all filed out of the room except for Andrew, Jesse, and Fincher. Fincher waved Andrew over to the other side of the table and put a firm hand on each of the young men’s shoulders.
“You two are going to be brilliant,” he reaffirmed. “Perfect fits. We’ll see you in a couple days for another reading. Get plenty of rest while you can.”
Andrew and Jesse bade him farewell as he left, closing the door behind him as if to intentionally give them privacy.
The table was clear now except for empty water pitchers, glasses, and two thick manila folders. Jesse had been both dreading this moment of being alone with Andrew, which was bound to happen at some point, as well as expecting it excitedly. Andrew was just excited about it.
Jesse leaned against the edge of the table, still staring at Andrew and feeling no shame about it because Andrew was doing the exact same thing. “It gets intense, doesn’t it?”
“Very.”
Andrew took a small step forward, paused, then another, all the while keeping his sharp gaze on Jesse, whose breathing shortened and lips parted slightly. He moved until he was directly in front of Jesse, their legs touching and chests almost but not quite.
Jesse’s eyes darted to his relaxed lips and the want he had almost exploded. It was as if Andrew was sending off magnetic waves of some sort to mess with Jesse’s insides, all in the technical sense. Jesse no longer felt in control of himself and normally, he would freak out and worry, but with Andrew, he didn’t.
“You feel it, too, right?”
Mouth dry and unable to speak, Jesse nodded.
Andrew lifted a hand and placed it on Jesse’s cheek, Jesse instantly reaching out to put his on Andrew’s hip. It was as if the motions were synchronized and done in reaction to the other. Andrew’s thumb stroked, then so did Jesse’s. Andrew’s fingertips felt skin while Jesse’s felt fabric but Jesse didn’t feel at a loss. Being able to have the man under his palm was enough to satisfy him, for now.
Both of their lips more open and breathing a bit deeper, Jesse leaned up to brush the tips of their noses. Their exhales hit lips and both gasped at the shocking sensation it gave. It was unreal, the feelings they were getting, because never had they experienced this before. Never had Andrew been so turned on by a nose touching his. Never had Jesse been so turned on by having his face embraced. Never had either of their sense of touch been heightened as much as it was now.
“Oh God,” Jesse whispered, the words being soaked up into Andrew’s bottom lip.
Andrew wanted to move his head further, close the space to devour Jesse, but he couldn’t. It wasn’t that he just couldn’t; he was unable. His fingers rubbed at Jesse’s cheek frantically, trying to move closer to have his lips touch those of the man in front of him, but he couldn’t.
Andrew took a deep breath, accepting defeat to some force that he couldn’t control, and brought his forehead to rest on Jesse’s, closing his eyes.
Jesse sighed and the air went directly inside Andrew’s mouth.
***
When they moved into “the house,” as Jesse would come to think of it, in Massachusetts, Andrew took the slightly larger room for the fact that Eduardo was privileged to have his own room and Mark had to share. They both had agreed on it. Andrew also had brought more luggage.
The bedrooms were across from each other in the small hallway with the single bathroom at the very end. The doors to each weren’t parallel, though only a couple feet off, so they could look into each other’s rooms if they stood in the right part of their own. They had experimented a couple times with this, peaking as they unpacked the first afternoon, until Andrew told Jesse to come over while he unpacked and he would help him when he was finished.
Jesse lied on the clean, untouched bed of Andrew’s between piles of clothes and bags. He examined Andrew as he moved around the room, hanging his shirts on wire hangers and organizing his shoes on the floor next to the closet in order of color. It seemed that Jesse couldn’t pull his eyes away from Andrew, glued to his body and allowing him to scan different parts but not stray off.
Jesse had worried when he was packing in New York about the effects Andrew was having on him. Thinking about it, he didn’t feel comfortable with the fact he completely lost his entire being because of this man for some unknown reason. Jesse had never acted that way in his entire life, in the conference room to Andrew, not ever to a girlfriend or a quick hook-up. He had never felt that way either and it scared him.
But when he was in Andrew’s presence, all worrying and his sense of self disappeared. It was as though he was a completely different person. He was a completely different person. Because of this change, he wondered if Andrew was going to get the wrong idea of him. Then again, he also wondered if Andrew changed into a completely different person, too.
Jesse watched Andrew consistently and Andrew would glance back at him only so often before going back to the task he was working on. Whenever Andrew would go over to the bed for something, Jesse would lean up and touch him. On the arm, on the neck, a pull on his shirt, across his stomach, on his ear. Andrew would whimper and shiver, frozen for a moment, before running his fingers over Jesse’s hand and resume unpacking.
When it was Jesse’s turn to unpack, after promising Andrew they could eat lunch when he was finished, Andrew couldn’t keep still. He followed Jesse around the room, one and a half steps behind him, the entire time. He tried sitting whenever Jesse got thoughtful, contemplating where to put something and circling around the room in deep debate, but he couldn’t do it. He would sit on the edge of the bed, eye Jesse up and down slowly as he crossed the room, and jump right back up to stay near. It was a gravitational pull, unable to be broken or tricked.
Jesse didn’t seem to mind, not capable of doing so on his own, especially when Andrew would teasingly slip his fingers up the back of Jesse’s shirt, dig his nails in just enough, and pull out. Jesse’s back arched, inhaled deep, and gave this “ah” sound that Andrew wanted to capture in a jar.
An hour and a half later, Jesse announced he was just about finished, down to one suitcase left on top of his bed.
Andrew pressed up against Jesse’s back as he unzipped the large bag, grabbing his hips to pull him closer against his chest. Jesse gasped quietly and wrapped his fingers around Andrew’s wrists, shutting his eyes as Andrew kissed the back of his neck softly. The “ah” sound came again when Andrew scraped his teeth along the side of Jesse’s neck and his fingers slid down under the jeans.
“I’ve never felt like this,” Andrew admitted, raspy yet gentle.
Jesse closed his eyes, quickly whispering in reply, “Me, neither.”
Andrew breathed out harshly when Jesse pushed his hips backward, butt tight to Andrew’s crotch, and scratched up his hips until his hands were free from the constraints of the clothing.
***
Filming began and everything got more intense between the two. Not only did they have their own feelings and connections but now they added a fictional character on top of that. They could have simply left the acting at the door when they left the set but that wasn’t how it worked. The heaviness of the characters and story stayed with them off set. If they were struggling with their feelings before, which they were, then now was even more complicated.
It started out easy enough. Mark and Eduardo were best friends. They had a mutual respect for one another and was aware of the other’s talents. It wasn’t until the relationship fell apart that it had an effect on the two actors.
After filming the scene where Eduardo destroys Mark’s laptop, Andrew had to drive them home because Jesse was so shaken up. As soon as the car was parked, Jesse darted inside the house and shut himself up in his bedroom. He cried.
Knowing exactly what Jesse was feeling, Andrew followed inside, entering to quiet sobs. His heart ached but he knew that Jesse needed alone time; he didn’t need to be seeing Eduardo’s face, Andrew’s face, yet. Similarly, Andrew didn’t entirely want to see Jesse, Mark. The guy had just lied to him and deceived him. He may not have been out for murder but he could have kicked some ass and done serious damage to more than just a computer.
The sobs hurting only his heart but not his brain, Andrew went into the kitchen and made warm tea to calm himself down. He would go give Jesse some later on, if he was still upset.
Jesse came out a half hour later to Andrew sitting on the living room couch, television on but not being paid attention to. Andrew was staring into his half empty cup until he looked up at Jesse, standing there dazed and plain sad. He whispered Jesse’s name and held an arm out, Jesse curling up around his side and sniffing.
Andrew ran his fingers through Jesse’s hair, bending his head down to get a better look at his face. His entire nose was a dark red, no doubt from sniffling and blowing. The tips of his cheeks were pink, no doubt from the irregular breathing and panting. The rest of his face was pale, no doubt from stressful thoughts and a stressful day. His lips were moist and dark, no doubt from being bitten and tears. His bottom lip, though, was trembling and weak whimpers escaped from his throat and crashed into the closed mouth, unable to be entirely silenced.
“Here,” Andrew whispered and held the lukewarm cup up to Jesse’s lips.
He was only half surprised when Jesse only opened his mouth, not grasping the dish, and let Andrew pour the liquid into his mouth carefully.
Jesse rubbed his face against Andrew’s shoulder, mumbling, “I’m sorry.”
Sorry for how Mark betrayed Eduardo, or sorry for how he was acting? Andrew figured a bit of both but maybe slightly more on Mark’s behalf. The pain was still obviously present in Jesse.
Andrew rubbed his fingers up and down Jesse’s spine. “Shh, it’s okay. It’ll turn out okay. You know it will.”
Mark and Eduardo’s relationship was tarnished but they’d be alright on their own; they were fine their entire lives before they met. Jesse and Andrew would be alright once they got over this hurdle. The hurdle would last two more months but they would adjust and get through it. Andrew knew they would. He could feel it. He wondered if Jesse could feel that reassuring sensation, too, even though he was still so down.
Jesse could.
Andrew put a blanket on top of Jesse when he stood to go get more tea. Jesse relaxed more against Andrew when he came back, slouching heavy and sipping loudly on the hot tea. Andrew held onto Jesse tighter as they watched the news.
“This is going to be hard, isn’t it?” Jesse asked after he put the empty cup down on the center table in front of them, turning to face Andrew. “Isn’t it?”
Andrew nodded, lifting his hands from under the blanket to place on the middle of Jesse’s chest. Jesse’s breaths were long and slow. “You knew it would be.”
“That doesn’t make it easier.”
“I didn’t say it did.”
Whenever they did the readings before shooting started, Jesse would always hesitate when a scene came that involved Sean Parker because that’s who he put the blame on. He fully blamed Sean with his California, sleazy way of thinking and doing. His no-good nosy, money hungry, power obsessed mind. Eduardo suggested Palo Alto first so Mark didn’t need Sean. Yet, Mark chose Sean. Chose Sean over Eduardo.
Jesse could see why Mark chose Sean overall…but over Eduardo? He couldn’t.
Because of Jesse’s feelings toward Sean, Justin had a difficult time communicating with Jesse. He would throw out a joke and conversation starters and Jesse would hardly respond. Justin felt maybe it was because he was Justin Timberlake but the way he acted didn’t lead him to that final conclusion.
Eventually, about a month before filming, Justin asked what Jesse thought about Sean. Andrew was sitting next to Justin, both still positioned across the table from Jesse. Fincher had said he wanted it to seem like it was everyone versus Mark. Jesse figured that one out on his own, though.
“Sean,” Jesse repeated the name lowly, fingers curling the top edges of his already worn-down script. “I think Sean is sneaky. I think he’s selfish. He’s the dictator that will do anything and everything to anyone and everyone to get what he wants. He’s inconsiderate and manipulative with a hidden agenda and…”
Jesse looked up from his script, taking a deep breath and staring into Justin’s calm, accepting face. From the corner of his eye, he saw Andrew’s worried face examining him closely.
“And…And you aren’t. You aren’t Sean.”
From that moment, Jesse allowed himself to build a friendship with Justin. It was turning out to be a pretty good one, if he was to say so himself.
Jesse ran his hands up Andrew’s arms and down to his elbows, squeezing firmly. “I…I don’t want it to affect us. I don’t.”
“It won’t. Not enough, anyway.”
Jesse nodded and took a deep breath.
Andrew lifted up the blanket and patted his lap. “Come here.”
Jesse moved onto Andrew’s lap, chest to chest, and wrapped his arms around his neck, Andrew massaging his lower back through his shirt. At first, Jesse would always get excited and energized when he saw Andrew, like a child seeing Santa at the mall. Recently, however, Andrew had also started to become a calming force for him. There was still electricity to him that made Jesse’s body buzz and come to life, but when he really needed it, Andrew’s power switched to an opposite effect.
The blanket fell to the floor in the process but neither of them acknowledged it. Andrew kissed each of Jesse’s still moist cheeks and exhaled through his nose. He wanted so badly to figure out why they changed into these people when they were alone. On set, they still adored each other and had a spark but they were still themselves. Jesse was quiet and nervous whenever he was addressed and Andrew was bright and outgoing. They were who they were and it was all dandy.
But as soon as they got in the car to drive back home, they changed. They weren’t themselves but some other persons that they had never met before. There was no control to it and no stopping it. Both had accepted it but that didn’t tame Andrew’s curiosity at all. No, he wanted to know the how and the why.
“I just want to kiss you,” Andrew quietly declared as he put his hands on Jesse’s cheeks. “God, I just…”
“I know.”
Andrew pressed their foreheads together, noses bumping and lips a hair from meeting. Their breaths were practically from the same air, mixing and retreating, blending and escaping. But they couldn’t kiss. Something was holding them back and they wanted so badly to just cut that cord so they could finally do it.
“Fuck, I know.”
***
A week later, Jesse couldn’t sleep. He tossed and turned and kicked and shifted and readjusted. Nothing.
From across the hall, Andrew heard him. He was unable to fall asleep, too.
They had started the habit of sleeping with their doors open three days after they had moved in. Jesse shut his door to change into his pajamas and he got into bed, unaware that Andrew had been trying to talk to him for almost five minutes.
“Jess.”
Jesse turned onto his back, kicking the blankets off that bunched at his feet, and sighed in frustration, running a hand down his face. “Sorry.”
“I can’t, either.”
At this, Jesse sat up and leaned over so he could see inside Andrew’s room through the doorframes. Andrew was sitting back on his arms and looking at him.
“Get over here.”
Jesse moved fast, rushing out of bed and across the hall into Andrew’s room, until he was next to the bed. Then, he slowed down. Time slowed down.
Jesse pulled up the covers and lied down closely beside Andrew. He shifted even closer until he was pressed against his chest when Andrew wrapped an arm around his waist, holding him firmly. He immediately got comfortable and smiled, still not tired but not as tense as he was before.
“What’s on your mind?” Andrew asked, hand up Jesse’s shirt to rub soothing circles across his back.
Jesse moaned quietly and licked his lips quickly, swallowing hard. “Not much anymore.”
Andrew laughed yet accepted the answer. His hand slid down Jesse’s back and kept going under his boxers, squeezing his butt gently once, twice, until giving a hard one. Jesse gasped, hips bucking forward and hitting Andrew’s, both their cocks already hard.
“I wondered.”
Jesse’s head tilted back, breathing quicker, when Andrew pressed a finger inside Jesse, wet from sweat. “Wondered what?”
Andrew licked up Jesse’s to his jaw, pulling the skin with his teeth and nipping up to his ear, whispering, “If you’d like it.”
Jesse shivered and his hands scrambled to get inside the front of Andrew’s boxers, one hand wrapping around his cock and the other holding his hip. Andrew’s finger inside Jesse curled too much, his body shocked by the sudden touch of Jesse, and caused him, Jesse, to moan loudly.
Andrew quickly undressed Jesse, wanting to see every part of him if they were going to actually do this, and Jesse quickly undressed Andrew in response. Their elbows and arms bumped, shoulders in motion, and their legs tangled and knocked together in the haste they were moving.
Before Andrew could execute what it was he exactly wanted to do to Jesse, Jesse already had his hand back on Andrew’s cock, leaving his mind static and unable to do what he planned. Jesse’s touch was a piercing hot and slick, fingers still shaky but not entirely out of control.
This would be the farthest that the two had ever gone with each other including the nudity part, since they’d never seen each other fully naked before. There were times when they had come close; Jesse sitting on Andrew’s lap and rocking back and forth, up and down, Andrew behind Jesse and rubbing up against him heatedly, hand squeezing the front of Jesse’s pants. But they never finished. They worked each other up and up, up, almost to the very tip top, before freezing and falling down. It wasn’t a gradual fall but a quick one that they could hardly remember because it was so fast.
“O-Oh, Jesse.”
Andrew leaned forward and pressed his lips to Jesse’s neck, sucking hard when Jesse tightened his hold and kissing when Jesse massaged his balls. Jesse kept his lowered to watch what he was doing, making sure he was doing everything correctly to make Andrew fall apart. After years of jacking off, Jesse realized that didn’t make him a master of handjobs, so he did his best. Andrew hadn’t laughed at him yet or pushed him away and he counted that as a win.
“F-Faster,” Andrew stuttered, mouth now on Jesse’s shoulder and nose to his neck. “Can-Can you?”
And Jesse did.
Andrew’s hips jerked with Jesse’s hand for a few seconds, both hands tugging Jesse’s hair, and he grunted low. Jesse would come to learn that this grunt was the warning signal, also meaning it was Andrew at his most open, helpless state. This grunt meant, in essence, that Jesse had entire domination and the knowledge of that turned him on even more. Andrew was all his.
“Jess.”
Andrew came, his jaw dropping and eyes shut tight. Jesse looked up quick enough to see his face and he wanted to kiss him more than ever. His lips were so relaxed and full in that moment that Jesse couldn’t help bringing up his other hand to touch them, his other still working Andrew through. Andrew kissed Jesse’s fingertips and the action made Jesse imagine what it would be like for Andrew to kiss him on the lips.
“Did…Did I…?”
“Jesse, that.” Andrew swallowed hard, licking his lips and tongue hitting Jesse’s fingers. “Perfect. Except for…”
Jesse panicked and pulled both his hands back. What had he done wrong? He got Andrew to come, for crying out loud, so how could he have messed up?
Jesse’s worries stopped when Andrew’s thumb brushed over the tip of his cock, a shiver running up his spine.
“Except for this,” Andrew finished hoarsely and gave a gentle squeeze.
Andrew pushed Jesse onto his back and moved down his body, kissing and licking his chest and stomach until he was at Jesse’s erection. Their eyes met over Jesse’s rapidly rising and falling chest, Jesse biting the side of his bottom lip and Andrew could get hard all over again staring at him like this.
Andrew took Jesse into his mouth and Jesse’s eyes fell shut as much as he didn’t want them to because he wanted to watch. He wanted to see everything Andrew was doing; licking up his cock, dancing his fingers around his stomach, bobbing his head. He could feel it all and somewhat see on the back of his eyelids what was going on but it wasn’t the same.
He wanted to see.
He was about ready to open his eyes again until Andrew sucked hard and pushed two fingers inside him, making him gasp and moan. He could feel Andrew smiling around him.
“God, Andrew.”
“Mhm,” Andrew hummed, wrapping his hand around the top of Jesse’s cock and lightly rubbing at his balls.
Jesse pushed a hand through Andrew’s sweaty, messed up hair, just to have a hold on something. His other hand was tightly holding the bedsheet next to him, gripping and releasing, gripping and releasing.
Andrew lifted the back of Jesse’s knees to angle his hips in the air a little and give him enough room to lick inside Jesse, sliding his tongue all the way in until his lips met the outer skin. Jesse thrust his hips down, driving Andrew’s tongue and fingers deeper, and moaned at the bliss the action caused. Surprised, Andrew dug his nails into Jesse’s thigh and breathed out hard because he was really doing this. He was actually doing this to, and for, Jesse.
Jesse lost it not long after Andrew withdrew his tongue to go back to sucking him off. The fingers still inside him, Jesse came in Andrew’s mouth after his fingers twisted a certain way that made Jesse almost forget where he was but not what was happening.
Never will he forget what just happened for the rest of his life.
Except whispering each others names, no words were exchanged as Andrew retook his place next to Jesse. They tangled themselves around one another, holding close and desperately. A few breaths were exchanged, heads pressed together and eyes shut, before they both fell asleep soundly.
***
Initial shooting ended and reshoots came and went just as fast. They had a couple months until the promotional tour, which led into the movie premieres, which led into award season. The couple months apart until the many months of publicity didn’t seem like much to everyone else. Of course, it did for Andrew and Jesse.
Andrew would be returning to California because he was in talks of being the next Spiderman, though nothing was sure yet. He offered Jesse to come with him but Jesse had to return to New York because he was going to film his new movie right away.
On their last day of the house’s rent, suitcases packed and waiting outside on the front step, Andrew had Jesse pinned to the wall and was nipping at his earlobe, heart shattering and eyes fuzzy with moisture. Jesse’s silent tears had been steady for a few minutes already.
“Don’t forget me,” Jesse begged, hooking a leg around Andrew and rubbing against him.
“I won’t. I can’t.”
Andrew put his face in front of Jesse’s and when he licked his lips, the tip of his tongue just barely touched Jesse’s upper lip. It was so soft and so brief but nonetheless present. Both whimpered, Jesse pulling harshly on Andrew’s shirt and pushing his hips forward again.
“Jesse, I can’t forget you.”
“Call,” he demanded, teeth grazing the side of Andrew’s neck and kissing gently, “often.”
Andrew quietly promised, sliding his hands over Jesse’s butt, “Every day.”
Andrew brushed his nose across Jesse’s cheek, up to his temple, and kissed his forehead. Sniffing, he took a step back and Jesse automatically retracted from him, leaning against the wall now that he didn’t have Andrew to hold onto anymore. Andrew was still there in the room, in the house, but he was gone.
“I’ll see you.”
Running his fingers down Jesse’s jaw, he walked towards the front door and left without looking back, Jesse staring after him.
They could’ve gone to the airport together, since their leaving times were close, but they agreed that it might not have been the best decision to so. Their honest and true goodbye would take place in the security and privacy of the house and they didn’t want to make the departure longer lasting by dragging it out to the airport. Since Andrew’s flight was two hours earlier than Jesse’s, he left first and Jesse would leave an hour after.
Jesse rested his head back against the wall, his fingers roaming around his neck where moisture from Andrew still was. It brought him a comfort because even though Andrew was gone, he wasn’t entirely. Their connection was still there, once triggered and never ending. His stomach turned as he heard the taxi outside drive away and he figured he’d guess right that Andrew’s was doing the same.
It was.
He’d never have to worry about Mark again.
***
Even in front of a live audience and a television broadcast that went into millions of American homes, Andrew and Jesse still couldn’t control themselves. Sure, they could downplay it and try to work their way around it, but sometimes it trapped them.
Andrew had a hard time breaking eye contact from Jesse and when he did, he tended to check out his body instead, which wasn’t any less conspicuous. Jesse had a habit of blinking at Andrew, then blinking away, before blinking back and starting all over.
They also had a problem with distance. Andrew insisted vocally about being placed next to Jesse and Jesse would quietly back him up, grabbing his wrist to make sure that it would happen. Andrew’s fingers could never stay away from Jesse’s hair for too long, either. Without even knowing it was happening until it was too late, Andrew would have his fingers dragging along the back of Jesse’s neck and when he realized the feeling on his hand, he slowly pulled back. Jesse could only smile at him slyly.
The teasing and fun came to a quick halt, though, when the Academy Awards were finished. The Social Network’s run had come to an end. Andrew would move on from Eduardo to Peter Parker while Jesse was still waiting for what his next big portrayal would be.
Coming to the hotel room after the after party, Andrew shut the door behind him and Jesse crossed the room, shedding his jacket onto the floor and sitting at the foot of the king-sized bed. Looking down at the floor, he undid his tie in a trance and pulled it from around his neck to toss on top of his jacket.
Hands in his pockets, Andrew sat next to Jesse and sighed quietly.
“This is it,” Jesse mumbled, lips tense and eyes glaring.
Andrew shook his head. “It isn’t.”
Jesse leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees, fingers going through his hair as he exhaled loudly. He knew the day would come that he and Andrew would have to officially part ways. No couple months of separation before a big reunion left. This was it; tonight was it. They would go on to bigger and better things, no doubt, but that didn’t mean Jesse wanted it to come without Andrew. There could be trips made, flying to visit for a small vacation, but would they really do that? Would they follow through?
“You did a great thing, Jesse. We both did. Just because it’s over doesn’t mean…that we have to be.”
Jesse turned his head to look at Andrew, who saw that tears were trickling down his cheeks smoothly. Andrew scooted closer to Jesse and put a hand on his cheek, soaking up the tears in his fingers.
“This doesn’t need to end if you don’t want it to. I don’t.”
Jesse inhaled, “I don’t.”
Jesse sniffed and sat up as Andrew brought his face closer, foreheads bumping in the familiar way and noses kissing like a habit. They looked in each others eyes and saw mutual shared feelings; a hint of fear but mostly a desperation to hold on and continue.
Jesse opened his mouth and made a small breathy sound before saying, “I-I…love you,” with a small tone rise at the end that made it seem the slightest bit of a question but Andrew knew better.
He felt it.
Jesse’s lips and hands were trembling, staring at Andrew’s face for a response, which he didn’t need to wait long for.
“I love you, too, Jess.”
Jesse smiled wide and the tears stopped, though Andrew went on to stroke Jesse’s face and rub their noses together. With this solid fact now in his head, Jesse had no more doubts about the future and Andrew. A love had formed between and inside of them. Their relationship had started out intense and was still that way but now included a trace of softness. That softness instantly vanished all of their worries and second guesses.
Andrew tilted his head to the side, Jesse tilting his the opposite direction, and put his thumbs under Jesse’s chin to lift slowly. Their lips touched briefly and their eyes exploded with emotion and want that the contact ignited. Almost not believing it, Andrew pressed his lips down harder and Jesse kissed back, grabbing Andrew’s jacket and pulling him closer.
They had both imagined how the other kissed, having felt the movements during blowjobs and necking, but the real thing was unexpected in the best possible way. It was predictable yet nothing either could have imagined. It was so much more than either could’ve comprehended.
It was perfect.
Jessed sucked on Andrew’s bottom and made him groan and smile. Andrew shifted to sit on Jesse’s hips and pushed him down onto his back, tongue exploring Jesse’s mouth before surrendering and letting Jesse’s explore his. It was fiery but easy, as if they had planned out beforehand what their ideal first kiss would be. In their heads, they had.
They moved up into the center of the bed and Jesse pushed Andrew’s jacket down his shoulders and off while Andrew unbuttoned Jesse’s shirt, their lips not breaking away and tongues anxious to have finally met. Andrew pulled open Jesse’s shirt and ran his hands all over as if it was his first time. It felt like everything they were doing was brand new for the sheer fact that their first kiss was happening. The kiss almost acted as a restart button for them, the complete and utter loss of restrictions giving them a new start.
Jesse threw Andrew’s tie to the side and immediately began working on his shirt, Andrew already moved on to Jesse’s pants. They hadn’t had sex before, feeling that it wasn’t right to do so if they couldn’t even kiss during the most trusting, passionate moment two people could share. They managed, of course, but it wasn’t the same. The love they had was present before the words were spoken and that presence made it more difficult to restrain themselves. Whenever they attempted to kiss, though, lips so close yet so far and not quite touching, it brought them back a little, reminding them of what they weren’t able to do; kiss and have sex.
Now, they could do both.
Both finally nude, it was hard for them to concentrate on anything than the kissing. Since they first met, all they wanted to do was kiss. The want for sex came later but the want to kiss was instantaneous. This kiss was what they had waited for the entire time and now that it was happening, they couldn’t stop.
Andrew couldn’t get enough of Jesse’s mouth. The way his teeth expertly pulled at his lip when they stopped for a split second of air, the way his tongue moved slow and steady, the way his lips were just so soft and would curl up into a smile randomly. Andrew would always smile back.
Jesse wrapped his legs around Andrew’s waist and Andrew situated himself between them, prepping himself both mentally and physically for what they were about to do. Jesse moaned into Andrew’s mouth when their cocks brushed together, holding his shoulders tighter in anticipation.
Andrew reached a hand between their stomachs, Jesse lifting his hips off the bed to give him more space, and pushed two fingers inside of him, swallowing all the sounds it caused.
He didn’t want to waste any more time and after Jesse repeated assurance that he was ready when a third finger was added between kisses, Andrew trusted his judgment and took a deep breath.
Pushing his cock inside Jesse and watching it disappear, Andrew shivered and clenched the sheet above Jesse’s head tighter. Jesse was panting against Andrew’s mouth, squirming from side to side but not giving any indication that he wanted to stop.
“Andrew,” Jesse breathed out, hands on Andrew’s cheeks and kissing him. “Andrew, Andrew, Andrew.”
Andrew grabbed Jesse’s wrists and held them down next to his head on the bed, Jesse chuckling quickly as Andrew kissed him again. Andrew circled his hips and pulled out a little, Jesse making that “ah” sound that Andrew’s fallen in love with.
He said, “I love when you do that. Love it.”
Jesse gasped when Andrew pushed back suddenly, his fingers scratching at Andrew’s hands weakly. He struggled to keep his ankles connected around Andrew because his whole body was convulsing with his breathing and writhing and Andrew’s moving. His heart was pounding loud but it couldn’t beat out Andrew’s uneven, throaty grunts or his own gasping moans or the slippery smacks Andrew’s hips made against Jesse’s. He was happy because he didn’t want it to. He wanted to hear everything Andrew was doing.
Andrew kissed all around Jesse’s face, hips moving faster, and laced their fingers together. Neither closed their eyes entirely, settling on slow blinks so that they could still know that they were sharing the moment together. When Andrew gave Jesse the blowjob the first time, it was all about Jesse. Now, it was about both of them and their eyes held the final connection beyond physical.
“I-It’s so good, Jess.”
Andrew licked inside Jesse’s mouth and moaned serenely.
“You’re so good.”
Andrew reached down, stroking Jesse roughly and erratically. He pushed his hips harder and moved slightly to readjust himself more comfortably, Jesse crying out and holding onto Andrew’s hands tighter. He turned his head to the side, rubbing his cheek against the bed, and thrust his hips erratically. He was close, he could feel it, and by the sounds Andrew was making, he could tell he wasn’t alone.
“Come on, baby, come on,” Andrew urged with a determined growl, biting Jesse’s neck hard to try and contain himself until Jesse finished. “Come for me.”
Jesse cried out again and came, head thrown back and panting Andrew’s name. Andrew dug his nails into the top of Jesse’s hands, pressing their hands harder to the bed, and came a few pushes later. Their semen mixing together in such a close time frame, since their pleasure was taking place at the same time and not one body before the other, made both of their heads swim at the liquid that was all over their stomachs and thighs. The mixture was a promise that they were finally fully together and it was going to stay that way.
Andrew was going to make sure that it would stay that way.
Jesse kept himself wrapped around Andrew as he lied down next to him and pulled the blankets out from under them to cover their recovering bodies. They kissed softly until Jesse yawned, Andrew laughing and messing his hair up even more.
“Go to sleep.”
Andrew kissed Jesse quickly and reached over to turn the bedside lamp off.
“I’ll be here when you wake up.”
Jesse retook Andrew’s hand, held it over his heart, and asked, “Promise?”
“I promise.”
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Andrew/Jesse
Word count: ~6,500
Summary: Andrew and Jesse were attracted to each other the second their eyes met. It wasn’t love at first sight, though; just attraction. They would get to the love part later on.
Disclaimer: Fiction, not getting paid, don't know or own the people.
Andrew and Jesse were attracted to each other the second their eyes met. It wasn’t love at first sight, though; just attraction. They would get to the love part later on.
When Jesse walked into the large, bland conference room to do the first reading of the script, Fincher following right behind him, his eyes quickly scanned all the people sitting around the table before resting on Andrew, who looked up at the two newcomers. The man Jesse couldn’t stop staring at had a rugged face, hair messy and chin bearing a five o’clock shadow, but soft accents, his neck long and lips full. His eyes were intense as they bore into Jesse’s yet not threatening or dangerous. All the contrasts this man had made Jesse’s brain fuzzy.
Andrew had been smiling at first, having been talking to Armie about how the English really weren’t as proper as Americans made them out, but when Jesse’s eyes connected with his, his smile began to fall. It wasn’t because he was any less happy, quite the contrary, but because he was so suddenly overwhelmed. This man was the most delicate, beautiful creature he had ever seen in his life. He was short, very obviously vulnerable, pale, and gorgeous. Everything about him screamed something that Andrew loved and he couldn’t bring himself to look away.
Fincher put a hand on Jesse’s shoulder, causing him to stand up straighter. “Attention, everyone, this is Jesse, our Mark in the film.”
Jesse smiled shyly and glanced at everyone once more before letting his eyes fall on Andrew again, who mouthed Jesse’s name and bit his bottom lip upon completing the last syllable.
Fincher directed Jesse to an empty seat that was directly across from Andrew and sat beside him. “Now, Jesse, this is Andrew, our Eduardo. As you both have been told, you’ll be living together once we get on location, so talk a little once we’re done to get to know each other a bit better.
“Next to him is Armie, who’ll be portraying the twins…”
Upon mentioning the living situation, Andrew’s eyebrow rose just slightly and Jesse responded by mouthing Andrew’s name to himself with a small smile.
Once the read-through was complete, everyone rose from their chairs to shake hands and give compliments. Although Andrew and Jesse avoided making physical contact, their eyes were constantly catching each others to make their hearts pound a little harder if only for a few beats.
After the small talk conversations of everyone began to conclude, they all filed out of the room except for Andrew, Jesse, and Fincher. Fincher waved Andrew over to the other side of the table and put a firm hand on each of the young men’s shoulders.
“You two are going to be brilliant,” he reaffirmed. “Perfect fits. We’ll see you in a couple days for another reading. Get plenty of rest while you can.”
Andrew and Jesse bade him farewell as he left, closing the door behind him as if to intentionally give them privacy.
The table was clear now except for empty water pitchers, glasses, and two thick manila folders. Jesse had been both dreading this moment of being alone with Andrew, which was bound to happen at some point, as well as expecting it excitedly. Andrew was just excited about it.
Jesse leaned against the edge of the table, still staring at Andrew and feeling no shame about it because Andrew was doing the exact same thing. “It gets intense, doesn’t it?”
“Very.”
Andrew took a small step forward, paused, then another, all the while keeping his sharp gaze on Jesse, whose breathing shortened and lips parted slightly. He moved until he was directly in front of Jesse, their legs touching and chests almost but not quite.
Jesse’s eyes darted to his relaxed lips and the want he had almost exploded. It was as if Andrew was sending off magnetic waves of some sort to mess with Jesse’s insides, all in the technical sense. Jesse no longer felt in control of himself and normally, he would freak out and worry, but with Andrew, he didn’t.
“You feel it, too, right?”
Mouth dry and unable to speak, Jesse nodded.
Andrew lifted a hand and placed it on Jesse’s cheek, Jesse instantly reaching out to put his on Andrew’s hip. It was as if the motions were synchronized and done in reaction to the other. Andrew’s thumb stroked, then so did Jesse’s. Andrew’s fingertips felt skin while Jesse’s felt fabric but Jesse didn’t feel at a loss. Being able to have the man under his palm was enough to satisfy him, for now.
Both of their lips more open and breathing a bit deeper, Jesse leaned up to brush the tips of their noses. Their exhales hit lips and both gasped at the shocking sensation it gave. It was unreal, the feelings they were getting, because never had they experienced this before. Never had Andrew been so turned on by a nose touching his. Never had Jesse been so turned on by having his face embraced. Never had either of their sense of touch been heightened as much as it was now.
“Oh God,” Jesse whispered, the words being soaked up into Andrew’s bottom lip.
Andrew wanted to move his head further, close the space to devour Jesse, but he couldn’t. It wasn’t that he just couldn’t; he was unable. His fingers rubbed at Jesse’s cheek frantically, trying to move closer to have his lips touch those of the man in front of him, but he couldn’t.
Andrew took a deep breath, accepting defeat to some force that he couldn’t control, and brought his forehead to rest on Jesse’s, closing his eyes.
Jesse sighed and the air went directly inside Andrew’s mouth.
***
When they moved into “the house,” as Jesse would come to think of it, in Massachusetts, Andrew took the slightly larger room for the fact that Eduardo was privileged to have his own room and Mark had to share. They both had agreed on it. Andrew also had brought more luggage.
The bedrooms were across from each other in the small hallway with the single bathroom at the very end. The doors to each weren’t parallel, though only a couple feet off, so they could look into each other’s rooms if they stood in the right part of their own. They had experimented a couple times with this, peaking as they unpacked the first afternoon, until Andrew told Jesse to come over while he unpacked and he would help him when he was finished.
Jesse lied on the clean, untouched bed of Andrew’s between piles of clothes and bags. He examined Andrew as he moved around the room, hanging his shirts on wire hangers and organizing his shoes on the floor next to the closet in order of color. It seemed that Jesse couldn’t pull his eyes away from Andrew, glued to his body and allowing him to scan different parts but not stray off.
Jesse had worried when he was packing in New York about the effects Andrew was having on him. Thinking about it, he didn’t feel comfortable with the fact he completely lost his entire being because of this man for some unknown reason. Jesse had never acted that way in his entire life, in the conference room to Andrew, not ever to a girlfriend or a quick hook-up. He had never felt that way either and it scared him.
But when he was in Andrew’s presence, all worrying and his sense of self disappeared. It was as though he was a completely different person. He was a completely different person. Because of this change, he wondered if Andrew was going to get the wrong idea of him. Then again, he also wondered if Andrew changed into a completely different person, too.
Jesse watched Andrew consistently and Andrew would glance back at him only so often before going back to the task he was working on. Whenever Andrew would go over to the bed for something, Jesse would lean up and touch him. On the arm, on the neck, a pull on his shirt, across his stomach, on his ear. Andrew would whimper and shiver, frozen for a moment, before running his fingers over Jesse’s hand and resume unpacking.
When it was Jesse’s turn to unpack, after promising Andrew they could eat lunch when he was finished, Andrew couldn’t keep still. He followed Jesse around the room, one and a half steps behind him, the entire time. He tried sitting whenever Jesse got thoughtful, contemplating where to put something and circling around the room in deep debate, but he couldn’t do it. He would sit on the edge of the bed, eye Jesse up and down slowly as he crossed the room, and jump right back up to stay near. It was a gravitational pull, unable to be broken or tricked.
Jesse didn’t seem to mind, not capable of doing so on his own, especially when Andrew would teasingly slip his fingers up the back of Jesse’s shirt, dig his nails in just enough, and pull out. Jesse’s back arched, inhaled deep, and gave this “ah” sound that Andrew wanted to capture in a jar.
An hour and a half later, Jesse announced he was just about finished, down to one suitcase left on top of his bed.
Andrew pressed up against Jesse’s back as he unzipped the large bag, grabbing his hips to pull him closer against his chest. Jesse gasped quietly and wrapped his fingers around Andrew’s wrists, shutting his eyes as Andrew kissed the back of his neck softly. The “ah” sound came again when Andrew scraped his teeth along the side of Jesse’s neck and his fingers slid down under the jeans.
“I’ve never felt like this,” Andrew admitted, raspy yet gentle.
Jesse closed his eyes, quickly whispering in reply, “Me, neither.”
Andrew breathed out harshly when Jesse pushed his hips backward, butt tight to Andrew’s crotch, and scratched up his hips until his hands were free from the constraints of the clothing.
***
Filming began and everything got more intense between the two. Not only did they have their own feelings and connections but now they added a fictional character on top of that. They could have simply left the acting at the door when they left the set but that wasn’t how it worked. The heaviness of the characters and story stayed with them off set. If they were struggling with their feelings before, which they were, then now was even more complicated.
It started out easy enough. Mark and Eduardo were best friends. They had a mutual respect for one another and was aware of the other’s talents. It wasn’t until the relationship fell apart that it had an effect on the two actors.
After filming the scene where Eduardo destroys Mark’s laptop, Andrew had to drive them home because Jesse was so shaken up. As soon as the car was parked, Jesse darted inside the house and shut himself up in his bedroom. He cried.
Knowing exactly what Jesse was feeling, Andrew followed inside, entering to quiet sobs. His heart ached but he knew that Jesse needed alone time; he didn’t need to be seeing Eduardo’s face, Andrew’s face, yet. Similarly, Andrew didn’t entirely want to see Jesse, Mark. The guy had just lied to him and deceived him. He may not have been out for murder but he could have kicked some ass and done serious damage to more than just a computer.
The sobs hurting only his heart but not his brain, Andrew went into the kitchen and made warm tea to calm himself down. He would go give Jesse some later on, if he was still upset.
Jesse came out a half hour later to Andrew sitting on the living room couch, television on but not being paid attention to. Andrew was staring into his half empty cup until he looked up at Jesse, standing there dazed and plain sad. He whispered Jesse’s name and held an arm out, Jesse curling up around his side and sniffing.
Andrew ran his fingers through Jesse’s hair, bending his head down to get a better look at his face. His entire nose was a dark red, no doubt from sniffling and blowing. The tips of his cheeks were pink, no doubt from the irregular breathing and panting. The rest of his face was pale, no doubt from stressful thoughts and a stressful day. His lips were moist and dark, no doubt from being bitten and tears. His bottom lip, though, was trembling and weak whimpers escaped from his throat and crashed into the closed mouth, unable to be entirely silenced.
“Here,” Andrew whispered and held the lukewarm cup up to Jesse’s lips.
He was only half surprised when Jesse only opened his mouth, not grasping the dish, and let Andrew pour the liquid into his mouth carefully.
Jesse rubbed his face against Andrew’s shoulder, mumbling, “I’m sorry.”
Sorry for how Mark betrayed Eduardo, or sorry for how he was acting? Andrew figured a bit of both but maybe slightly more on Mark’s behalf. The pain was still obviously present in Jesse.
Andrew rubbed his fingers up and down Jesse’s spine. “Shh, it’s okay. It’ll turn out okay. You know it will.”
Mark and Eduardo’s relationship was tarnished but they’d be alright on their own; they were fine their entire lives before they met. Jesse and Andrew would be alright once they got over this hurdle. The hurdle would last two more months but they would adjust and get through it. Andrew knew they would. He could feel it. He wondered if Jesse could feel that reassuring sensation, too, even though he was still so down.
Jesse could.
Andrew put a blanket on top of Jesse when he stood to go get more tea. Jesse relaxed more against Andrew when he came back, slouching heavy and sipping loudly on the hot tea. Andrew held onto Jesse tighter as they watched the news.
“This is going to be hard, isn’t it?” Jesse asked after he put the empty cup down on the center table in front of them, turning to face Andrew. “Isn’t it?”
Andrew nodded, lifting his hands from under the blanket to place on the middle of Jesse’s chest. Jesse’s breaths were long and slow. “You knew it would be.”
“That doesn’t make it easier.”
“I didn’t say it did.”
Whenever they did the readings before shooting started, Jesse would always hesitate when a scene came that involved Sean Parker because that’s who he put the blame on. He fully blamed Sean with his California, sleazy way of thinking and doing. His no-good nosy, money hungry, power obsessed mind. Eduardo suggested Palo Alto first so Mark didn’t need Sean. Yet, Mark chose Sean. Chose Sean over Eduardo.
Jesse could see why Mark chose Sean overall…but over Eduardo? He couldn’t.
Because of Jesse’s feelings toward Sean, Justin had a difficult time communicating with Jesse. He would throw out a joke and conversation starters and Jesse would hardly respond. Justin felt maybe it was because he was Justin Timberlake but the way he acted didn’t lead him to that final conclusion.
Eventually, about a month before filming, Justin asked what Jesse thought about Sean. Andrew was sitting next to Justin, both still positioned across the table from Jesse. Fincher had said he wanted it to seem like it was everyone versus Mark. Jesse figured that one out on his own, though.
“Sean,” Jesse repeated the name lowly, fingers curling the top edges of his already worn-down script. “I think Sean is sneaky. I think he’s selfish. He’s the dictator that will do anything and everything to anyone and everyone to get what he wants. He’s inconsiderate and manipulative with a hidden agenda and…”
Jesse looked up from his script, taking a deep breath and staring into Justin’s calm, accepting face. From the corner of his eye, he saw Andrew’s worried face examining him closely.
“And…And you aren’t. You aren’t Sean.”
From that moment, Jesse allowed himself to build a friendship with Justin. It was turning out to be a pretty good one, if he was to say so himself.
Jesse ran his hands up Andrew’s arms and down to his elbows, squeezing firmly. “I…I don’t want it to affect us. I don’t.”
“It won’t. Not enough, anyway.”
Jesse nodded and took a deep breath.
Andrew lifted up the blanket and patted his lap. “Come here.”
Jesse moved onto Andrew’s lap, chest to chest, and wrapped his arms around his neck, Andrew massaging his lower back through his shirt. At first, Jesse would always get excited and energized when he saw Andrew, like a child seeing Santa at the mall. Recently, however, Andrew had also started to become a calming force for him. There was still electricity to him that made Jesse’s body buzz and come to life, but when he really needed it, Andrew’s power switched to an opposite effect.
The blanket fell to the floor in the process but neither of them acknowledged it. Andrew kissed each of Jesse’s still moist cheeks and exhaled through his nose. He wanted so badly to figure out why they changed into these people when they were alone. On set, they still adored each other and had a spark but they were still themselves. Jesse was quiet and nervous whenever he was addressed and Andrew was bright and outgoing. They were who they were and it was all dandy.
But as soon as they got in the car to drive back home, they changed. They weren’t themselves but some other persons that they had never met before. There was no control to it and no stopping it. Both had accepted it but that didn’t tame Andrew’s curiosity at all. No, he wanted to know the how and the why.
“I just want to kiss you,” Andrew quietly declared as he put his hands on Jesse’s cheeks. “God, I just…”
“I know.”
Andrew pressed their foreheads together, noses bumping and lips a hair from meeting. Their breaths were practically from the same air, mixing and retreating, blending and escaping. But they couldn’t kiss. Something was holding them back and they wanted so badly to just cut that cord so they could finally do it.
“Fuck, I know.”
***
A week later, Jesse couldn’t sleep. He tossed and turned and kicked and shifted and readjusted. Nothing.
From across the hall, Andrew heard him. He was unable to fall asleep, too.
They had started the habit of sleeping with their doors open three days after they had moved in. Jesse shut his door to change into his pajamas and he got into bed, unaware that Andrew had been trying to talk to him for almost five minutes.
“Jess.”
Jesse turned onto his back, kicking the blankets off that bunched at his feet, and sighed in frustration, running a hand down his face. “Sorry.”
“I can’t, either.”
At this, Jesse sat up and leaned over so he could see inside Andrew’s room through the doorframes. Andrew was sitting back on his arms and looking at him.
“Get over here.”
Jesse moved fast, rushing out of bed and across the hall into Andrew’s room, until he was next to the bed. Then, he slowed down. Time slowed down.
Jesse pulled up the covers and lied down closely beside Andrew. He shifted even closer until he was pressed against his chest when Andrew wrapped an arm around his waist, holding him firmly. He immediately got comfortable and smiled, still not tired but not as tense as he was before.
“What’s on your mind?” Andrew asked, hand up Jesse’s shirt to rub soothing circles across his back.
Jesse moaned quietly and licked his lips quickly, swallowing hard. “Not much anymore.”
Andrew laughed yet accepted the answer. His hand slid down Jesse’s back and kept going under his boxers, squeezing his butt gently once, twice, until giving a hard one. Jesse gasped, hips bucking forward and hitting Andrew’s, both their cocks already hard.
“I wondered.”
Jesse’s head tilted back, breathing quicker, when Andrew pressed a finger inside Jesse, wet from sweat. “Wondered what?”
Andrew licked up Jesse’s to his jaw, pulling the skin with his teeth and nipping up to his ear, whispering, “If you’d like it.”
Jesse shivered and his hands scrambled to get inside the front of Andrew’s boxers, one hand wrapping around his cock and the other holding his hip. Andrew’s finger inside Jesse curled too much, his body shocked by the sudden touch of Jesse, and caused him, Jesse, to moan loudly.
Andrew quickly undressed Jesse, wanting to see every part of him if they were going to actually do this, and Jesse quickly undressed Andrew in response. Their elbows and arms bumped, shoulders in motion, and their legs tangled and knocked together in the haste they were moving.
Before Andrew could execute what it was he exactly wanted to do to Jesse, Jesse already had his hand back on Andrew’s cock, leaving his mind static and unable to do what he planned. Jesse’s touch was a piercing hot and slick, fingers still shaky but not entirely out of control.
This would be the farthest that the two had ever gone with each other including the nudity part, since they’d never seen each other fully naked before. There were times when they had come close; Jesse sitting on Andrew’s lap and rocking back and forth, up and down, Andrew behind Jesse and rubbing up against him heatedly, hand squeezing the front of Jesse’s pants. But they never finished. They worked each other up and up, up, almost to the very tip top, before freezing and falling down. It wasn’t a gradual fall but a quick one that they could hardly remember because it was so fast.
“O-Oh, Jesse.”
Andrew leaned forward and pressed his lips to Jesse’s neck, sucking hard when Jesse tightened his hold and kissing when Jesse massaged his balls. Jesse kept his lowered to watch what he was doing, making sure he was doing everything correctly to make Andrew fall apart. After years of jacking off, Jesse realized that didn’t make him a master of handjobs, so he did his best. Andrew hadn’t laughed at him yet or pushed him away and he counted that as a win.
“F-Faster,” Andrew stuttered, mouth now on Jesse’s shoulder and nose to his neck. “Can-Can you?”
And Jesse did.
Andrew’s hips jerked with Jesse’s hand for a few seconds, both hands tugging Jesse’s hair, and he grunted low. Jesse would come to learn that this grunt was the warning signal, also meaning it was Andrew at his most open, helpless state. This grunt meant, in essence, that Jesse had entire domination and the knowledge of that turned him on even more. Andrew was all his.
“Jess.”
Andrew came, his jaw dropping and eyes shut tight. Jesse looked up quick enough to see his face and he wanted to kiss him more than ever. His lips were so relaxed and full in that moment that Jesse couldn’t help bringing up his other hand to touch them, his other still working Andrew through. Andrew kissed Jesse’s fingertips and the action made Jesse imagine what it would be like for Andrew to kiss him on the lips.
“Did…Did I…?”
“Jesse, that.” Andrew swallowed hard, licking his lips and tongue hitting Jesse’s fingers. “Perfect. Except for…”
Jesse panicked and pulled both his hands back. What had he done wrong? He got Andrew to come, for crying out loud, so how could he have messed up?
Jesse’s worries stopped when Andrew’s thumb brushed over the tip of his cock, a shiver running up his spine.
“Except for this,” Andrew finished hoarsely and gave a gentle squeeze.
Andrew pushed Jesse onto his back and moved down his body, kissing and licking his chest and stomach until he was at Jesse’s erection. Their eyes met over Jesse’s rapidly rising and falling chest, Jesse biting the side of his bottom lip and Andrew could get hard all over again staring at him like this.
Andrew took Jesse into his mouth and Jesse’s eyes fell shut as much as he didn’t want them to because he wanted to watch. He wanted to see everything Andrew was doing; licking up his cock, dancing his fingers around his stomach, bobbing his head. He could feel it all and somewhat see on the back of his eyelids what was going on but it wasn’t the same.
He wanted to see.
He was about ready to open his eyes again until Andrew sucked hard and pushed two fingers inside him, making him gasp and moan. He could feel Andrew smiling around him.
“God, Andrew.”
“Mhm,” Andrew hummed, wrapping his hand around the top of Jesse’s cock and lightly rubbing at his balls.
Jesse pushed a hand through Andrew’s sweaty, messed up hair, just to have a hold on something. His other hand was tightly holding the bedsheet next to him, gripping and releasing, gripping and releasing.
Andrew lifted the back of Jesse’s knees to angle his hips in the air a little and give him enough room to lick inside Jesse, sliding his tongue all the way in until his lips met the outer skin. Jesse thrust his hips down, driving Andrew’s tongue and fingers deeper, and moaned at the bliss the action caused. Surprised, Andrew dug his nails into Jesse’s thigh and breathed out hard because he was really doing this. He was actually doing this to, and for, Jesse.
Jesse lost it not long after Andrew withdrew his tongue to go back to sucking him off. The fingers still inside him, Jesse came in Andrew’s mouth after his fingers twisted a certain way that made Jesse almost forget where he was but not what was happening.
Never will he forget what just happened for the rest of his life.
Except whispering each others names, no words were exchanged as Andrew retook his place next to Jesse. They tangled themselves around one another, holding close and desperately. A few breaths were exchanged, heads pressed together and eyes shut, before they both fell asleep soundly.
***
Initial shooting ended and reshoots came and went just as fast. They had a couple months until the promotional tour, which led into the movie premieres, which led into award season. The couple months apart until the many months of publicity didn’t seem like much to everyone else. Of course, it did for Andrew and Jesse.
Andrew would be returning to California because he was in talks of being the next Spiderman, though nothing was sure yet. He offered Jesse to come with him but Jesse had to return to New York because he was going to film his new movie right away.
On their last day of the house’s rent, suitcases packed and waiting outside on the front step, Andrew had Jesse pinned to the wall and was nipping at his earlobe, heart shattering and eyes fuzzy with moisture. Jesse’s silent tears had been steady for a few minutes already.
“Don’t forget me,” Jesse begged, hooking a leg around Andrew and rubbing against him.
“I won’t. I can’t.”
Andrew put his face in front of Jesse’s and when he licked his lips, the tip of his tongue just barely touched Jesse’s upper lip. It was so soft and so brief but nonetheless present. Both whimpered, Jesse pulling harshly on Andrew’s shirt and pushing his hips forward again.
“Jesse, I can’t forget you.”
“Call,” he demanded, teeth grazing the side of Andrew’s neck and kissing gently, “often.”
Andrew quietly promised, sliding his hands over Jesse’s butt, “Every day.”
Andrew brushed his nose across Jesse’s cheek, up to his temple, and kissed his forehead. Sniffing, he took a step back and Jesse automatically retracted from him, leaning against the wall now that he didn’t have Andrew to hold onto anymore. Andrew was still there in the room, in the house, but he was gone.
“I’ll see you.”
Running his fingers down Jesse’s jaw, he walked towards the front door and left without looking back, Jesse staring after him.
They could’ve gone to the airport together, since their leaving times were close, but they agreed that it might not have been the best decision to so. Their honest and true goodbye would take place in the security and privacy of the house and they didn’t want to make the departure longer lasting by dragging it out to the airport. Since Andrew’s flight was two hours earlier than Jesse’s, he left first and Jesse would leave an hour after.
Jesse rested his head back against the wall, his fingers roaming around his neck where moisture from Andrew still was. It brought him a comfort because even though Andrew was gone, he wasn’t entirely. Their connection was still there, once triggered and never ending. His stomach turned as he heard the taxi outside drive away and he figured he’d guess right that Andrew’s was doing the same.
It was.
He’d never have to worry about Mark again.
***
Even in front of a live audience and a television broadcast that went into millions of American homes, Andrew and Jesse still couldn’t control themselves. Sure, they could downplay it and try to work their way around it, but sometimes it trapped them.
Andrew had a hard time breaking eye contact from Jesse and when he did, he tended to check out his body instead, which wasn’t any less conspicuous. Jesse had a habit of blinking at Andrew, then blinking away, before blinking back and starting all over.
They also had a problem with distance. Andrew insisted vocally about being placed next to Jesse and Jesse would quietly back him up, grabbing his wrist to make sure that it would happen. Andrew’s fingers could never stay away from Jesse’s hair for too long, either. Without even knowing it was happening until it was too late, Andrew would have his fingers dragging along the back of Jesse’s neck and when he realized the feeling on his hand, he slowly pulled back. Jesse could only smile at him slyly.
The teasing and fun came to a quick halt, though, when the Academy Awards were finished. The Social Network’s run had come to an end. Andrew would move on from Eduardo to Peter Parker while Jesse was still waiting for what his next big portrayal would be.
Coming to the hotel room after the after party, Andrew shut the door behind him and Jesse crossed the room, shedding his jacket onto the floor and sitting at the foot of the king-sized bed. Looking down at the floor, he undid his tie in a trance and pulled it from around his neck to toss on top of his jacket.
Hands in his pockets, Andrew sat next to Jesse and sighed quietly.
“This is it,” Jesse mumbled, lips tense and eyes glaring.
Andrew shook his head. “It isn’t.”
Jesse leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees, fingers going through his hair as he exhaled loudly. He knew the day would come that he and Andrew would have to officially part ways. No couple months of separation before a big reunion left. This was it; tonight was it. They would go on to bigger and better things, no doubt, but that didn’t mean Jesse wanted it to come without Andrew. There could be trips made, flying to visit for a small vacation, but would they really do that? Would they follow through?
“You did a great thing, Jesse. We both did. Just because it’s over doesn’t mean…that we have to be.”
Jesse turned his head to look at Andrew, who saw that tears were trickling down his cheeks smoothly. Andrew scooted closer to Jesse and put a hand on his cheek, soaking up the tears in his fingers.
“This doesn’t need to end if you don’t want it to. I don’t.”
Jesse inhaled, “I don’t.”
Jesse sniffed and sat up as Andrew brought his face closer, foreheads bumping in the familiar way and noses kissing like a habit. They looked in each others eyes and saw mutual shared feelings; a hint of fear but mostly a desperation to hold on and continue.
Jesse opened his mouth and made a small breathy sound before saying, “I-I…love you,” with a small tone rise at the end that made it seem the slightest bit of a question but Andrew knew better.
He felt it.
Jesse’s lips and hands were trembling, staring at Andrew’s face for a response, which he didn’t need to wait long for.
“I love you, too, Jess.”
Jesse smiled wide and the tears stopped, though Andrew went on to stroke Jesse’s face and rub their noses together. With this solid fact now in his head, Jesse had no more doubts about the future and Andrew. A love had formed between and inside of them. Their relationship had started out intense and was still that way but now included a trace of softness. That softness instantly vanished all of their worries and second guesses.
Andrew tilted his head to the side, Jesse tilting his the opposite direction, and put his thumbs under Jesse’s chin to lift slowly. Their lips touched briefly and their eyes exploded with emotion and want that the contact ignited. Almost not believing it, Andrew pressed his lips down harder and Jesse kissed back, grabbing Andrew’s jacket and pulling him closer.
They had both imagined how the other kissed, having felt the movements during blowjobs and necking, but the real thing was unexpected in the best possible way. It was predictable yet nothing either could have imagined. It was so much more than either could’ve comprehended.
It was perfect.
Jessed sucked on Andrew’s bottom and made him groan and smile. Andrew shifted to sit on Jesse’s hips and pushed him down onto his back, tongue exploring Jesse’s mouth before surrendering and letting Jesse’s explore his. It was fiery but easy, as if they had planned out beforehand what their ideal first kiss would be. In their heads, they had.
They moved up into the center of the bed and Jesse pushed Andrew’s jacket down his shoulders and off while Andrew unbuttoned Jesse’s shirt, their lips not breaking away and tongues anxious to have finally met. Andrew pulled open Jesse’s shirt and ran his hands all over as if it was his first time. It felt like everything they were doing was brand new for the sheer fact that their first kiss was happening. The kiss almost acted as a restart button for them, the complete and utter loss of restrictions giving them a new start.
Jesse threw Andrew’s tie to the side and immediately began working on his shirt, Andrew already moved on to Jesse’s pants. They hadn’t had sex before, feeling that it wasn’t right to do so if they couldn’t even kiss during the most trusting, passionate moment two people could share. They managed, of course, but it wasn’t the same. The love they had was present before the words were spoken and that presence made it more difficult to restrain themselves. Whenever they attempted to kiss, though, lips so close yet so far and not quite touching, it brought them back a little, reminding them of what they weren’t able to do; kiss and have sex.
Now, they could do both.
Both finally nude, it was hard for them to concentrate on anything than the kissing. Since they first met, all they wanted to do was kiss. The want for sex came later but the want to kiss was instantaneous. This kiss was what they had waited for the entire time and now that it was happening, they couldn’t stop.
Andrew couldn’t get enough of Jesse’s mouth. The way his teeth expertly pulled at his lip when they stopped for a split second of air, the way his tongue moved slow and steady, the way his lips were just so soft and would curl up into a smile randomly. Andrew would always smile back.
Jesse wrapped his legs around Andrew’s waist and Andrew situated himself between them, prepping himself both mentally and physically for what they were about to do. Jesse moaned into Andrew’s mouth when their cocks brushed together, holding his shoulders tighter in anticipation.
Andrew reached a hand between their stomachs, Jesse lifting his hips off the bed to give him more space, and pushed two fingers inside of him, swallowing all the sounds it caused.
He didn’t want to waste any more time and after Jesse repeated assurance that he was ready when a third finger was added between kisses, Andrew trusted his judgment and took a deep breath.
Pushing his cock inside Jesse and watching it disappear, Andrew shivered and clenched the sheet above Jesse’s head tighter. Jesse was panting against Andrew’s mouth, squirming from side to side but not giving any indication that he wanted to stop.
“Andrew,” Jesse breathed out, hands on Andrew’s cheeks and kissing him. “Andrew, Andrew, Andrew.”
Andrew grabbed Jesse’s wrists and held them down next to his head on the bed, Jesse chuckling quickly as Andrew kissed him again. Andrew circled his hips and pulled out a little, Jesse making that “ah” sound that Andrew’s fallen in love with.
He said, “I love when you do that. Love it.”
Jesse gasped when Andrew pushed back suddenly, his fingers scratching at Andrew’s hands weakly. He struggled to keep his ankles connected around Andrew because his whole body was convulsing with his breathing and writhing and Andrew’s moving. His heart was pounding loud but it couldn’t beat out Andrew’s uneven, throaty grunts or his own gasping moans or the slippery smacks Andrew’s hips made against Jesse’s. He was happy because he didn’t want it to. He wanted to hear everything Andrew was doing.
Andrew kissed all around Jesse’s face, hips moving faster, and laced their fingers together. Neither closed their eyes entirely, settling on slow blinks so that they could still know that they were sharing the moment together. When Andrew gave Jesse the blowjob the first time, it was all about Jesse. Now, it was about both of them and their eyes held the final connection beyond physical.
“I-It’s so good, Jess.”
Andrew licked inside Jesse’s mouth and moaned serenely.
“You’re so good.”
Andrew reached down, stroking Jesse roughly and erratically. He pushed his hips harder and moved slightly to readjust himself more comfortably, Jesse crying out and holding onto Andrew’s hands tighter. He turned his head to the side, rubbing his cheek against the bed, and thrust his hips erratically. He was close, he could feel it, and by the sounds Andrew was making, he could tell he wasn’t alone.
“Come on, baby, come on,” Andrew urged with a determined growl, biting Jesse’s neck hard to try and contain himself until Jesse finished. “Come for me.”
Jesse cried out again and came, head thrown back and panting Andrew’s name. Andrew dug his nails into the top of Jesse’s hands, pressing their hands harder to the bed, and came a few pushes later. Their semen mixing together in such a close time frame, since their pleasure was taking place at the same time and not one body before the other, made both of their heads swim at the liquid that was all over their stomachs and thighs. The mixture was a promise that they were finally fully together and it was going to stay that way.
Andrew was going to make sure that it would stay that way.
Jesse kept himself wrapped around Andrew as he lied down next to him and pulled the blankets out from under them to cover their recovering bodies. They kissed softly until Jesse yawned, Andrew laughing and messing his hair up even more.
“Go to sleep.”
Andrew kissed Jesse quickly and reached over to turn the bedside lamp off.
“I’ll be here when you wake up.”
Jesse retook Andrew’s hand, held it over his heart, and asked, “Promise?”
“I promise.”