something I wrote for english 101... *snoggggg*
"How to Survive All Girls Catholic High School"
Congratulations! You've been accepted to the city's most prestigious Catholic high school. Here's the catch, though: it's ALL GIRLS.
You heard me sweetheart, no boys unless you trek down Madison Avenue to peep on an O'Dea football practice. But it's not just the lack of boys that'll give you trouble-- it's the constant presence of girls in general that will threaten your sanity more than anything else. On top of that-- girlie, you've got LOADS of homework to do.
But let's start with basics. Take notes, if you must.
RULE #1: Don't say anything you don't want the entire student body to know. Rumors spread fast enough in a regular high school; rumors in a school full of girls will spread like bloody wildfire. If you don't want to be whispered about, keep your mouth shut.
RULE #2: For God's sake, dress nicely. Sure, everyone is free to dress as they please-- but this isn't your kindergarten classroom, and you can't wear your fuzzy purple sweater with the screenprinted kittens on it here. Girls, or at least the majority of them, DO judge on looks. You're going to have to get used to lots of unfair things with this crowd. After these four years of your life are over, wear your black socks and Birkenstocks as much as you want, but for the time being, remember this: the people at Old Navy are there to help you.
RULE #3: Don't play teachers' pet, under any circumstances-- especially with the nuns. Active participation in a male teacher's class will lead to ridicule of a private relationship; likewise, a female teacher will bring about in rumors concerning lesbianism; and nuns will result in nasty cartoons featuring the two of you in a confessional.
RULE #4: Practice the art of walking in high heels. As previously noted, fashion is a crucial step on the social stepladder. When you're tackling those four flights of stairs, you'll be grateful for the practice. Take one spill up or down the stairs, and it will follow you to graduation.
RULE #5: Even if the language seems foreign to you, try to adapt the vernacular. Remember: not everyone got on in brains alone, if you know what I mean. No matter how outstanding of a vocabulary background you have, set it aside in the hallways if you want to be understood. For example:
WRONG: "I feel that you should repent for
such blasphemous heresy."
RIGHT: "OHMIGOD, like, shut UP! You are SO
lying!! (Tee hee!)"
It's really not as complicated as it sounds. Just keep in mind: when the atmosphere stresses your intelligence, homework will always be there for your mental equilibrium. Just be careful what you wish for.
Good luck!
Congratulations! You've been accepted to the city's most prestigious Catholic high school. Here's the catch, though: it's ALL GIRLS.
You heard me sweetheart, no boys unless you trek down Madison Avenue to peep on an O'Dea football practice. But it's not just the lack of boys that'll give you trouble-- it's the constant presence of girls in general that will threaten your sanity more than anything else. On top of that-- girlie, you've got LOADS of homework to do.
But let's start with basics. Take notes, if you must.
RULE #1: Don't say anything you don't want the entire student body to know. Rumors spread fast enough in a regular high school; rumors in a school full of girls will spread like bloody wildfire. If you don't want to be whispered about, keep your mouth shut.
RULE #2: For God's sake, dress nicely. Sure, everyone is free to dress as they please-- but this isn't your kindergarten classroom, and you can't wear your fuzzy purple sweater with the screenprinted kittens on it here. Girls, or at least the majority of them, DO judge on looks. You're going to have to get used to lots of unfair things with this crowd. After these four years of your life are over, wear your black socks and Birkenstocks as much as you want, but for the time being, remember this: the people at Old Navy are there to help you.
RULE #3: Don't play teachers' pet, under any circumstances-- especially with the nuns. Active participation in a male teacher's class will lead to ridicule of a private relationship; likewise, a female teacher will bring about in rumors concerning lesbianism; and nuns will result in nasty cartoons featuring the two of you in a confessional.
RULE #4: Practice the art of walking in high heels. As previously noted, fashion is a crucial step on the social stepladder. When you're tackling those four flights of stairs, you'll be grateful for the practice. Take one spill up or down the stairs, and it will follow you to graduation.
RULE #5: Even if the language seems foreign to you, try to adapt the vernacular. Remember: not everyone got on in brains alone, if you know what I mean. No matter how outstanding of a vocabulary background you have, set it aside in the hallways if you want to be understood. For example:
WRONG: "I feel that you should repent for
such blasphemous heresy."
RIGHT: "OHMIGOD, like, shut UP! You are SO
lying!! (Tee hee!)"
It's really not as complicated as it sounds. Just keep in mind: when the atmosphere stresses your intelligence, homework will always be there for your mental equilibrium. Just be careful what you wish for.
Good luck!