I was told it would all be grand, such perfection that it cannot fully meet the eye
I didn't get the hannon loft job.
yeah, it was a real fucking great way to start my morning off. 15 people who weren't me were on that list. I turned it over and over in my mind, and I still don't really see why. and why not.
I wasn't pleased when the next thing I got to do was go sit next to louis at a theology lecture. afterward, though, I went to the postal and checked my mail for the very first time. after fussing with my combination for thirty odd years, it popped open, and revealed two junk mails and a package notice. mom sent me a box, so I went to pick it up.
and got lost in university hall on the way.
then, I got to haul this gigantic box halfway across campus to my dorm. at 9:45 in the morning.
but, it was worth it... mom sent me such great stuff. chocolate, cookies, tubberware, salt and pepper, straws, postcards, a dish scrubber, abdominal heat pads for my period, posters and mail I had gotten sent to the house... and, best of all, a ty stuffed siamese kitten. it makes me feel better about being away from sano and sami, but at the same time, it makes me miss them even more. I was very happy.
then, I went to the lair to meet up with justin. he wanted to introduce me to his friend cassie, who was supposed to eat lunch with us, but ended up leaving after the introduction to go do some reading. it was okay, though, because it meant that I got to spend lunch alone with him.
I told him about my art store predicament, and he proposed we get crazy and make the walk before my art class, which started in an hour. oh god, it was a rush. I was only a couple of minutes late, but oh my GOD did I sweat!! (mmm, pretty imagery. I won't go into any more detail.)
regardless, tidal pools of sweat or non, I got my stuff. what a load off my mind.
art class wasn't so forgiving. I got frustrated and remembered why I dislike art classes so much. I had continual flashbacks to sister janice's calvacade of whimsy during holy names art, mocking and severely damaging your entire adolescence as you knew it by telling you you were "stuck in the second dimension," and pointing out flaws you didn't know you had, or didn't care to have repeatedly brought to the attention of you and your peers.
anyway, my prof would come and talk to me. a lot. it felt like he talked to me more than he did other people. but that's my nature, too... I'm really hard on myself. maybe he focused on me because he know's I'm serious about my art, and he can tell I've had training before. I dunno. that's what I like to tell myself. at least I showed up with my supplies this time, thanks to my justin.
today's been so messy and loose that I really didn't have the patience for art.
random note: the part in justin timberlake's "seniorita", where he has the guys and the girls sing different parts, and he pretends to sing like a girl? it's fucking adorable. I dare say I love so many kinds of justins.
well, anyway.
so, I'm just hoping for some peace now. I'm getting to the point where I just kinda wish I were home. even the weather here is sub-par, at best. if the sky's gonna be cloudy, let me have my seattle clouds.
I just want to lay my head in justin's lap and cry a little and stay there all night.
yeah, it was a real fucking great way to start my morning off. 15 people who weren't me were on that list. I turned it over and over in my mind, and I still don't really see why. and why not.
I wasn't pleased when the next thing I got to do was go sit next to louis at a theology lecture. afterward, though, I went to the postal and checked my mail for the very first time. after fussing with my combination for thirty odd years, it popped open, and revealed two junk mails and a package notice. mom sent me a box, so I went to pick it up.
and got lost in university hall on the way.
then, I got to haul this gigantic box halfway across campus to my dorm. at 9:45 in the morning.
but, it was worth it... mom sent me such great stuff. chocolate, cookies, tubberware, salt and pepper, straws, postcards, a dish scrubber, abdominal heat pads for my period, posters and mail I had gotten sent to the house... and, best of all, a ty stuffed siamese kitten. it makes me feel better about being away from sano and sami, but at the same time, it makes me miss them even more. I was very happy.
then, I went to the lair to meet up with justin. he wanted to introduce me to his friend cassie, who was supposed to eat lunch with us, but ended up leaving after the introduction to go do some reading. it was okay, though, because it meant that I got to spend lunch alone with him.
I told him about my art store predicament, and he proposed we get crazy and make the walk before my art class, which started in an hour. oh god, it was a rush. I was only a couple of minutes late, but oh my GOD did I sweat!! (mmm, pretty imagery. I won't go into any more detail.)
regardless, tidal pools of sweat or non, I got my stuff. what a load off my mind.
art class wasn't so forgiving. I got frustrated and remembered why I dislike art classes so much. I had continual flashbacks to sister janice's calvacade of whimsy during holy names art, mocking and severely damaging your entire adolescence as you knew it by telling you you were "stuck in the second dimension," and pointing out flaws you didn't know you had, or didn't care to have repeatedly brought to the attention of you and your peers.
anyway, my prof would come and talk to me. a lot. it felt like he talked to me more than he did other people. but that's my nature, too... I'm really hard on myself. maybe he focused on me because he know's I'm serious about my art, and he can tell I've had training before. I dunno. that's what I like to tell myself. at least I showed up with my supplies this time, thanks to my justin.
today's been so messy and loose that I really didn't have the patience for art.
random note: the part in justin timberlake's "seniorita", where he has the guys and the girls sing different parts, and he pretends to sing like a girl? it's fucking adorable. I dare say I love so many kinds of justins.
well, anyway.
so, I'm just hoping for some peace now. I'm getting to the point where I just kinda wish I were home. even the weather here is sub-par, at best. if the sky's gonna be cloudy, let me have my seattle clouds.
I just want to lay my head in justin's lap and cry a little and stay there all night.