Depression and Sadness
I have really been just depressed without end these past months. The worst part about is that I have no one.
All I ever wanted to have was some friends. Friends that I could act silly around. Like the screwy "Kreagor" I was. But that act only puts everyone off. DP, Drace, Tazmin. Those who don't care have become so distant from mwe that I can't even talk to them.
And the extremely few people that DID once talk to me are gone. Drag, Eldynir. I have no one...truly and nothing. I don't even com eonline much anymore because there is no point. Who's gonna talk to ME.
I try to be silly. It just upsets. I try to be friendly, That doesn't work. Then I even tried being "normal" and then i just come off as a faceless clone of everyone else.
Why can't I seem to stay close to anyone? It's like i'm hanging desperatly to a cliff ledge, trying to reach out to someone's hand, be it Draces, Kat's or Luna's (don't know her name) but no one reaches back.
Well, I guess i'll just safe them the trouble and let go. If no one wants me around or is not interested in being a friend to me, sharing problems, and talking about things then no one has to worry anymore.
This might be my last journal entry too, because i just have nothing to talk about. I have no friends like everyone else does. And I never should have asked Kat to give me a LJ code. I only wasted it...I wish i could give it back. I'm not worth it, when someone else could have had it and talked all about going here or there and doing this or that.
All I ever wanted to have was some friends. Friends that I could act silly around. Like the screwy "Kreagor" I was. But that act only puts everyone off. DP, Drace, Tazmin. Those who don't care have become so distant from mwe that I can't even talk to them.
And the extremely few people that DID once talk to me are gone. Drag, Eldynir. I have no one...truly and nothing. I don't even com eonline much anymore because there is no point. Who's gonna talk to ME.
I try to be silly. It just upsets. I try to be friendly, That doesn't work. Then I even tried being "normal" and then i just come off as a faceless clone of everyone else.
Why can't I seem to stay close to anyone? It's like i'm hanging desperatly to a cliff ledge, trying to reach out to someone's hand, be it Draces, Kat's or Luna's (don't know her name) but no one reaches back.
Well, I guess i'll just safe them the trouble and let go. If no one wants me around or is not interested in being a friend to me, sharing problems, and talking about things then no one has to worry anymore.
This might be my last journal entry too, because i just have nothing to talk about. I have no friends like everyone else does. And I never should have asked Kat to give me a LJ code. I only wasted it...I wish i could give it back. I'm not worth it, when someone else could have had it and talked all about going here or there and doing this or that.