(no subject)
work was agonizing and long. clocked out at 11:23. i have a lot of respect for the people i surround myself with. or at least mostly a lot of respect. mmm i don't know who or what i actually mean. i get excited about the projects some people are involved in//where their hearts dwell. i put too much pressure on products//projects as if there is an expectation...just do something? anything? nevertheless, socializing with more than two people at a time has come to feel like a chore. i enjoy your face. i'm simply not patient. i get nervous and anxious and end up thinking instead of listening.
vegetable prep provokes thoughts to stray..and stray they do. i envisioned my existence as a cylinder-like map, not anything close to linear or even 2d. on this map i didn't have a position; rather, i was an undulating plane. i'm not exactly sure what the actual map was, perhaps life's variables? i probably sound like a nutcase. anyway, for a minute i got really stoked. "just do it yourself, just fucking do it" was all i could think. you want it? be deliberate and just do it. it can happen. music//booking//"the scene"...fuck it. fuck clubs and venues and money. like i've never "been about" that, but really and honestly...fuck that. if i believe local as global, a means of toppling top-down structures, apply it. there is something so amazing about producing something for the sake of creation. i forget that every now and then.
haven't had anything to drink today. first time in a long while...
i wanna get into zines. bring it back.
there are a lot of people i know have my back. i just feel like i can't confide anything.
vegetable prep provokes thoughts to stray..and stray they do. i envisioned my existence as a cylinder-like map, not anything close to linear or even 2d. on this map i didn't have a position; rather, i was an undulating plane. i'm not exactly sure what the actual map was, perhaps life's variables? i probably sound like a nutcase. anyway, for a minute i got really stoked. "just do it yourself, just fucking do it" was all i could think. you want it? be deliberate and just do it. it can happen. music//booking//"the scene"...fuck it. fuck clubs and venues and money. like i've never "been about" that, but really and honestly...fuck that. if i believe local as global, a means of toppling top-down structures, apply it. there is something so amazing about producing something for the sake of creation. i forget that every now and then.
haven't had anything to drink today. first time in a long while...
i wanna get into zines. bring it back.
there are a lot of people i know have my back. i just feel like i can't confide anything.