jack's piece of mind

[krazypunk666]

my life as of late. who really gives a shit. i'm going to ramble about the same melancholy that goes on in my life..even though my life isn't bad. i try not to be an asshole to anyone i meet..even if i don't like the fucker. this is solely because i hate fighting and confrontation. it seems silly and unecessary. it seems as if some people have taken a disliking to me. i don't entirely understand why, with the exception of one person with a valable reason. college is making me feel so different about my life. i have some new friends which is awesome. however, i feel like i'm growing so far apart from some of my old friends. so so so so far apart...almost as if they do not really care if i'm part of their lives anymore. i hate to think that, and i really hope it isn't so, but it's hard not to think so. no returned phone calls, no heys, nothing. i guess that's how life goes after so many years of friendship. i keep plugging away at these so-called classes i have because i want to show my parents i can do something with my life, but i don't feel like i'm getting a ton out of any of them. i also worry about my sister on a daily basis. no, i'm not trying to be anyone's fucking father. i just happen to care about the people that are close to me. if that's a bad thing, then next time i say.."yo dude, calm down on the alcohol" or "don't smoke everyday" then you can tell me i'm doing something wrong. when someone close to me starts throwing up because they drank to much or passes out because they mixed the wrong "drugs" i get a little worried. sometimes it bothers me that a lot of people i know don't take it seriously. sometimes i guess it's not such a big deal, but i worry more and more everyday that that one night of fun might go a little too far and something may happen that i will hate, and possibly blame myself for. if you don't like me, for any reason other than that which is reasonable. FUCK YOU. you can go right ahead and fuck yourself.

dudes, if i'm doing something wrong as a friend..tell me. cara, if i'm doing something wrong as your brother..please tell me. guys, you mean the world to me, and i feel like your slipping away. it's tearing me apart.