being able to hand in a paper and *know* what mark you're going to get
During undergrad, if I was happy with a paper I got lousy marks. But if I hated it, it got high marks. *tries to choke on ice* I was bloody confused.
I can judge to a certain extent what's working and what isn't. Most stories don't quite pull together, but it was the best I could do and there are things about them that I do like and think do work. And I'm happy with that.
Not all stories are meant to be masterpieces. I write for different reasons. Sometimes it's just a bit of fluff, sometimes long and plotted. I do my best and I don't think I've ever posted a story I'm embarrassed about. I can see the improvement from Pretender and early WW (and would like to change things), but I place those stories in the context of the time they were written and I am still proud of them.
There are stories I'm extremely proud of (tend to be CJ/Toby - they just lend themselves to a more angsty/less plotted story) and think really work. And it's been a few of them that have made me question my ability to judge. I don't know how else I'm supposed to react when a story I've put so much into and tried different things and felt I pulled off is greeted by resounding silence (my John Hoynes 5 Things being a prime example). And then there's stories that seem to be loved and I just don't get why (Happy, Never, After with Carol/Donna is the one that comes to mind).
It's not all about feedback. If it was I'd be writing J/D, not CJ/Danny. And I wouldn't be writing my current Toby/CJ/Danny which will probably get me crucified.
These days usually what my betas pick up on are the things that are bothering me and I haven't been able to sort out myself. And it's usually by brainstorming with them that I can solve the problem. So can't do without betas.
Fun? What's that? While it doesn't sound like it, I actually do have fun writing. If I wasn't having some fun I wouldn't be writing (why I gave up knitting - my annoyance over not being able to get the tension just right outweighed any positive things). I wish I could have more fun and get rid of the angst and annoyance. Though that would require a total personality transplant. I've always been this way.
During undergrad, if I was happy with a paper I got lousy marks. But if I hated it, it got high marks. *tries to choke on ice* I was bloody confused.
I can judge to a certain extent what's working and what isn't. Most stories don't quite pull together, but it was the best I could do and there are things about them that I do like and think do work. And I'm happy with that.
Not all stories are meant to be masterpieces. I write for different reasons. Sometimes it's just a bit of fluff, sometimes long and plotted. I do my best and I don't think I've ever posted a story I'm embarrassed about. I can see the improvement from Pretender and early WW (and would like to change things), but I place those stories in the context of the time they were written and I am still proud of them.
There are stories I'm extremely proud of (tend to be CJ/Toby - they just lend themselves to a more angsty/less plotted story) and think really work. And it's been a few of them that have made me question my ability to judge. I don't know how else I'm supposed to react when a story I've put so much into and tried different things and felt I pulled off is greeted by resounding silence (my John Hoynes 5 Things being a prime example). And then there's stories that seem to be loved and I just don't get why (Happy, Never, After with Carol/Donna is the one that comes to mind).
It's not all about feedback. If it was I'd be writing J/D, not CJ/Danny. And I wouldn't be writing my current Toby/CJ/Danny which will probably get me crucified.
These days usually what my betas pick up on are the things that are bothering me and I haven't been able to sort out myself. And it's usually by brainstorming with them that I can solve the problem. So can't do without betas.
Fun? What's that? While it doesn't sound like it, I actually do have fun writing. If I wasn't having some fun I wouldn't be writing (why I gave up knitting - my annoyance over not being able to get the tension just right outweighed any positive things). I wish I could have more fun and get rid of the angst and annoyance. Though that would require a total personality transplant. I've always been this way.
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