Juicy Goodness
Sometimes I just feel like crying just because. Just to break down sometime and cry. For a lot of reasons. I can;t pay for the school i got accepted to, i just can't. Not with all the loans, not with grants, or any of that crap. My parents won't help me, and I don't blame them, I should be able to handle this on my own but I don't make enough money to pay for it and I can't get loans because I don't make enough money and no one with money with co-sign. Theres times I just want to fuck all of it and became a hippie.
And then he is still there. And i hate him. But hes the only one who puts me through what in should be put through. He knows me, and I can't way theres a lot of people that do. Los Angeles is the most isolated city i can think of.
I'm sick. Snot and mucus. And a big knife.
And a funny story. I think I'm disowned from ym step family for not being (a) addicted to some drug, (b) pregnant, or (c) perfectly thin and beautiful. Its been a long time coming. And I can't say that i will lose any sleep over their failrue to love me.
I mean, what so romantic about being pregnant? You get fat. And then you have HUGE responsibilty of being a parent and raising the child and trying not to fuck it up the same way your parents fucked you up and then trying not to be obsessed with only your child and trying to re-live your life through them. And it goes on and on. And yet getting pregnant by some guy you don't know, when neither you nor him have an education, a job, a place to live, or any skill whatsoever, is like the second coming of Jesus. This is not logic, it is insanity.
And then he is still there. And i hate him. But hes the only one who puts me through what in should be put through. He knows me, and I can't way theres a lot of people that do. Los Angeles is the most isolated city i can think of.
I'm sick. Snot and mucus. And a big knife.
And a funny story. I think I'm disowned from ym step family for not being (a) addicted to some drug, (b) pregnant, or (c) perfectly thin and beautiful. Its been a long time coming. And I can't say that i will lose any sleep over their failrue to love me.
I mean, what so romantic about being pregnant? You get fat. And then you have HUGE responsibilty of being a parent and raising the child and trying not to fuck it up the same way your parents fucked you up and then trying not to be obsessed with only your child and trying to re-live your life through them. And it goes on and on. And yet getting pregnant by some guy you don't know, when neither you nor him have an education, a job, a place to live, or any skill whatsoever, is like the second coming of Jesus. This is not logic, it is insanity.