Here's my annual livejournal comment
Just got back from tour. I have to finish my final project for a physics/math/programming course based in python computer language. So of course, I'm up late on livejournal rather than trying to finish the project before the fall semester of my second year at Cooper begins.
Tour was stressful, as always. When it comes to the scale of good and bad, just about every category applicable to tour is leaning on the bad side if not resting on that side with nothing preventing the good side from flying high. I hate tour. We make friends in some places sometimes, but even those shows usually suck. The best places were the ones where we already have friends and where we've played a lot before, like Philly, Baltimore, and Binghamton. So the thinking is, "Let's do a lot of weekend shows during the school year, even in places as far as Providence and even State College AND EVEN Youngstown." I remember the past year being anxious about playing 1 show in NYC during the school year. Now we're talking about making these long trips, leave as early as possible on Friday, get back late Sunday. I need the weekends to catch up on all the work that's built up over the week, and there's no way I'll be able to do any work on those trips. I drudge this whole thing.
Tour stresses me out. I can't stand being around people for so long, especially the same people for so long. A seven hour drive in which I cannot sleep is too much social interaction. At a show or any other thing like that, there's always so point when I go off on my own because I cannot be around people for too long. The band, while I am glad that I'm doing it, does not mean as much to me as I'm sure it means to Steve, and I am not prepared to put my life to the band.
When I finish school, I want to live in Ireland for a while. I want to travel a lot, and I want to do a lot of it on my own. I feel choked; I shouldn't really, but I do. I want to see how other people live. While there are incredible differences in lifestyles in the US, even in Westchester, there's still some underlying culture understanding or frame of reference. Since I was brought up with it, I want to put myself outside of it as much as possible.
Right now, the only drive I have is finishing school. I don't even know what I can do with Mechanical Engineering, but I'm putting on the record that I sure never want to work in a cubicle for a large company. Ideally, I would be doing my own thing. Lacking the ambitions of having a family or being a home-owner, I see the possibility of using discretion in what I do. Right now, I just have to make sure I don't mess this up and that I don't end up having to deal with any sort of loans. That's the worst thing in my mind right now. Ugh, I don't want to be thinking any more right now.
Sorry for all the heavy stuff, but I guess that's what stress and insomnia and a year have given me to say, also that I'm just back from tour and stressed about school starting and finishing this project that might not even work.
Tour was stressful, as always. When it comes to the scale of good and bad, just about every category applicable to tour is leaning on the bad side if not resting on that side with nothing preventing the good side from flying high. I hate tour. We make friends in some places sometimes, but even those shows usually suck. The best places were the ones where we already have friends and where we've played a lot before, like Philly, Baltimore, and Binghamton. So the thinking is, "Let's do a lot of weekend shows during the school year, even in places as far as Providence and even State College AND EVEN Youngstown." I remember the past year being anxious about playing 1 show in NYC during the school year. Now we're talking about making these long trips, leave as early as possible on Friday, get back late Sunday. I need the weekends to catch up on all the work that's built up over the week, and there's no way I'll be able to do any work on those trips. I drudge this whole thing.
Tour stresses me out. I can't stand being around people for so long, especially the same people for so long. A seven hour drive in which I cannot sleep is too much social interaction. At a show or any other thing like that, there's always so point when I go off on my own because I cannot be around people for too long. The band, while I am glad that I'm doing it, does not mean as much to me as I'm sure it means to Steve, and I am not prepared to put my life to the band.
When I finish school, I want to live in Ireland for a while. I want to travel a lot, and I want to do a lot of it on my own. I feel choked; I shouldn't really, but I do. I want to see how other people live. While there are incredible differences in lifestyles in the US, even in Westchester, there's still some underlying culture understanding or frame of reference. Since I was brought up with it, I want to put myself outside of it as much as possible.
Right now, the only drive I have is finishing school. I don't even know what I can do with Mechanical Engineering, but I'm putting on the record that I sure never want to work in a cubicle for a large company. Ideally, I would be doing my own thing. Lacking the ambitions of having a family or being a home-owner, I see the possibility of using discretion in what I do. Right now, I just have to make sure I don't mess this up and that I don't end up having to deal with any sort of loans. That's the worst thing in my mind right now. Ugh, I don't want to be thinking any more right now.
Sorry for all the heavy stuff, but I guess that's what stress and insomnia and a year have given me to say, also that I'm just back from tour and stressed about school starting and finishing this project that might not even work.