update...i guess.
so i havent written in here ina while. or something. so i thought maybe i would.
i am so tired lately, and i know im not the only one. but i get like, 8 hours of sleep. i think i may be getting too much sleep. hell if i know.
i have my last final in a little less than an hour and then IM DONE. i am so glad school is over. too much stress. i know you all know the feeling.
i may get kicked out of sdsu. that may be a good thing, i havent decided yet. all cuz of this stupid math class. i hate math more than anything. i swear to god im not a total moron. i promise. but intermediate algebra just kicks my ass, and it isnt even that hard. i dont know whats wrong with me. but yeah. if i dont pass the ELM (which i am still waiting for the results on) then i have to take summer school. and if i dont pass the class in summer school, then i fail and get kicked out and wont be re-admitted until i meet the requirements. this could be good, cuz then i can save money by just going to grossmont. but i'll miss sdsu a lot. i love it here. i dunno. i just dont know.
dustin and i are doing ok. i dont really know what to say about us. i love that guy. i think im just stressed lately. it almost seems like hes getting on my nerves. but then again, lots of things have been getting on my nerves. i just need a break. i want quality us time, but that wont happen. hes working 8 hours a day and doesnt get home till around 6:30 in the evening. so if i want us time, it has to be on the weekend. but what about during the week? and how can we have us time when my mom wont let me hang out with him when i want to. GAH. i shouldnt hang out with him so much cuz then i find myself extremely dependent on him. always needing to talk to him. sigh.
story time.
last night he had to drive me to scotts house to get my wallet that i left in scotts car. then we went to the chicken pie shop and had some soup. then we went back to his moms house where i gave him a foot massage, and he gave me one and we just talked. but on the way home, we had an...interesting conversation.
it all started out cuz he said something, and i was like, you realize thats a country song right? (cuz he hates country). and he was like, yeah, but just cuz i dont like it doesnt mean i dont know the songs. thats all they listen to up in canada. and i was like, you bitch about country, but you know the songs. and then he said something about he doesnt listen to it willingly or something, and i said he did once, when he went to that bar on jeremys birthday and it was a country bar, and he actually paid. and he was like, well it wasnt like i just couldnt not go. it was jeremys bday. and i was like, yeah i guess. then he says, i think im not going to drink anymore. i was kinda like, huh? why? and he said cuz he knows i dont like it. my first thought was, no, its not that i dont like it, its that i dont like it when you get sick the next morning, and youre out with people i dont know cuz im paranoid. my next thought was, oh great. now hes gonna stop doing things just cuz i dont like them. im a shitty girlfriend. and he told me that relationships are about compromise and sacrafice. and i was like, yeah. so ill compromise and learn to get over it. its not that big of a deal. and he said it was. and i was like, ok. what about when all your friends go out and they ask you to go with them? or jeremys next birthday? and he said he just wont drink. and i was like, yeah you will. and he said he wont. and im like, yeah you will. jeremy would totally make him. and he said if he didnt want to he wouldnt. hes done it before. and he said, well you dont like it. and i said, well. what if i told you i dont like you driving? its scary to me cuz someone could crash into you and you could die. are you gonna stop driving? and he said no. he needs to drive. and i was like, well, its the same thing. just cuz i dont like that you do something doesnt mean that you should stop doing it.
by the end of the conversation, we really hadnt acomplished anything. it was just really weird i guess. i dont like that hes gonna stop doing stuff cuz of me. he said it isnt cuz of me and i said, if you werent dating me, youd have nothing to worry about, no reason to not do it, and youd do it anyway right? and he said yeah, and then i said, so it is my fault. im the reason. he really didnt have anything to say to that.
am i just weird? i dunno. and this was a really long rant. sorry. but i do feel better and i guess thats all that counts. sigh.
i am so tired lately, and i know im not the only one. but i get like, 8 hours of sleep. i think i may be getting too much sleep. hell if i know.
i have my last final in a little less than an hour and then IM DONE. i am so glad school is over. too much stress. i know you all know the feeling.
i may get kicked out of sdsu. that may be a good thing, i havent decided yet. all cuz of this stupid math class. i hate math more than anything. i swear to god im not a total moron. i promise. but intermediate algebra just kicks my ass, and it isnt even that hard. i dont know whats wrong with me. but yeah. if i dont pass the ELM (which i am still waiting for the results on) then i have to take summer school. and if i dont pass the class in summer school, then i fail and get kicked out and wont be re-admitted until i meet the requirements. this could be good, cuz then i can save money by just going to grossmont. but i'll miss sdsu a lot. i love it here. i dunno. i just dont know.
dustin and i are doing ok. i dont really know what to say about us. i love that guy. i think im just stressed lately. it almost seems like hes getting on my nerves. but then again, lots of things have been getting on my nerves. i just need a break. i want quality us time, but that wont happen. hes working 8 hours a day and doesnt get home till around 6:30 in the evening. so if i want us time, it has to be on the weekend. but what about during the week? and how can we have us time when my mom wont let me hang out with him when i want to. GAH. i shouldnt hang out with him so much cuz then i find myself extremely dependent on him. always needing to talk to him. sigh.
story time.
last night he had to drive me to scotts house to get my wallet that i left in scotts car. then we went to the chicken pie shop and had some soup. then we went back to his moms house where i gave him a foot massage, and he gave me one and we just talked. but on the way home, we had an...interesting conversation.
it all started out cuz he said something, and i was like, you realize thats a country song right? (cuz he hates country). and he was like, yeah, but just cuz i dont like it doesnt mean i dont know the songs. thats all they listen to up in canada. and i was like, you bitch about country, but you know the songs. and then he said something about he doesnt listen to it willingly or something, and i said he did once, when he went to that bar on jeremys birthday and it was a country bar, and he actually paid. and he was like, well it wasnt like i just couldnt not go. it was jeremys bday. and i was like, yeah i guess. then he says, i think im not going to drink anymore. i was kinda like, huh? why? and he said cuz he knows i dont like it. my first thought was, no, its not that i dont like it, its that i dont like it when you get sick the next morning, and youre out with people i dont know cuz im paranoid. my next thought was, oh great. now hes gonna stop doing things just cuz i dont like them. im a shitty girlfriend. and he told me that relationships are about compromise and sacrafice. and i was like, yeah. so ill compromise and learn to get over it. its not that big of a deal. and he said it was. and i was like, ok. what about when all your friends go out and they ask you to go with them? or jeremys next birthday? and he said he just wont drink. and i was like, yeah you will. and he said he wont. and im like, yeah you will. jeremy would totally make him. and he said if he didnt want to he wouldnt. hes done it before. and he said, well you dont like it. and i said, well. what if i told you i dont like you driving? its scary to me cuz someone could crash into you and you could die. are you gonna stop driving? and he said no. he needs to drive. and i was like, well, its the same thing. just cuz i dont like that you do something doesnt mean that you should stop doing it.
by the end of the conversation, we really hadnt acomplished anything. it was just really weird i guess. i dont like that hes gonna stop doing stuff cuz of me. he said it isnt cuz of me and i said, if you werent dating me, youd have nothing to worry about, no reason to not do it, and youd do it anyway right? and he said yeah, and then i said, so it is my fault. im the reason. he really didnt have anything to say to that.
am i just weird? i dunno. and this was a really long rant. sorry. but i do feel better and i guess thats all that counts. sigh.