I DO THIS FROM TIME TO TIME:
This is weird... Not only did I randomly decide to pull up the old LJ this week, but apparently Randy did too, and we haven't even talked about it yet. Kuhrazy! I don't know what really spawned it for me, but I think it was a mixture of recent events.
A. The new AVA cd is out and has gotten me all nostalgic and thinking (If you dont know what ava is, just stop reading).
B. New stuff going on with females
C. Lots of school and ROTC work and stress and responsibilities as of late that have me mucho stressed out.
D. My new leaf that I've turned in a revival of a quest to be more "hip" for some reason
E. My rekindled friendship with Pat Smith and our frequent late night conversations
F. The fact that senior year is almost half way over and I'm going to be going through probably the biggest transition in my life to this point.
G. AVA is blogging and I've been reading them and have felt the need to express my thoughts over the interweb
H. I've been going crazy writing and recording lots of music and have actually found my sound and am desperately trying to find venues to play shows.
So those are the biggest reasons. I don't know what's been with me and doing the logical A, B, C... lists as of late, but they've come out a lot lately. So those more or less justify my (temporary?) revival of the LJ. A lot has happened since January, when I last posted (or at least made a post that YOU could see). Its kinda funny that the 1st things that come to mind are the ROTC examples, so I guess I'll start there:
This summer I got to be a CTA for Field Training. As my new Idol Capt. Jarrod Suire would say "its a strange kind of fun" and it really was. I learned quite a bit about myself and other people and made some life-long friends in the process that I can't wait to bump into on active duty. I really learned how to refine my personality and developed some really good officer traits that I've taken to heart since returning. But the most important thing that I did there came to me on the last day there when a cadet came up to me, shook my hand and said "thank you Sir, you changed my life". That one moment made it all worth while and almost made me cry right in front of the 360 cadets out on the parade field who I had been more or less yelling at for the past 28 days.
But I didn't come on here to talk more about CTA duty. I've done that enough, and my pictures and videos that I took there will keep me reminded of it for years to come. I'm glad to say that this entry isn't going to be filled with complaining and whining like most of my entries. Despite some crazy shit going on that normally would cause me to spiral out of control and want to give up (which I'm not going to lie, I've had sentiments of just letting shit blow over and hiding until it does), I'm pressing on quite well. I really think the fact that the glimmer of light that is graduation and therefore the end of my engineering career is within sight is giving me promise and will that I've never had before. Knowing that it'll all be over with soon and having that concrete closure is keeping me focused, rather than giving me the old senioritis bug that I would have thought I'd catch. And the fact that its also far enough away so that I don't have to think about leaving my friends is keeping me going as well. So I'm at a good point of balance. The big pivotal moment for me was on Friday when I registered for classes. It didn't really sink in until this weekend that that was the last time that I'll have to do that.
I also haven't been in the state of Massachusetts since 16 July, which is really strange to think about.
Another reason I think I'm writing this is the Christmas lights in my room. They're all the light I turn on sometimes and it just makes me feel really warm and happy inside. Last week it snowed too which is also happy. The sun has also been out lately, so it's not the depressing, constantly gray Syracuse that I've come to know and loathe over the past few years. I just hope it stays like this. Once again, I guess its some more of that balance between the crappy weather, the snow, and the sun thats making it okay.
Sunday I wrote one of the most beautiful songs I've ever written before. If you want to check it out, its on my myspace ( http://www.myspace.com/karljohnson ) and its called "Alarmed!". It's the first time I've ever conceptualized, wrote, recorded, and finalized a song all in one sitting. It's pretty simple because it's just one guitar track and one vocal track. Basically for a while I've wanted to do a song that's just me layering guitar tracks over each other using my delay pedal, and then just singing over it. The way this came out was completely unlike how I had envisioned it, however I'm really pleased with the results. The guitar just slowly evolves. It starts with just one note repeating itself (just so that I can set the temop), then I build the melody that stays throughout the song, and I sing 2 verses as I just slightly evolve the whole tune. You'll have to hear it for yourself, and actually please listen to it. After you listen to it, read what its about (below) and then listen again.
Basically what the song's about is being asleep and being woken up by the fire alarm, and being startled even though you know it's just a drill, so you stumble out of the building in your pajamas only to find that it's snowing, and so you go stand close to your friends but then see a girl who you haven't taken the chance to tell how you feel about her, and she comes out late with a boy around her arms and you realize that they were sleeping together and that you've lost your chance. The song is more or less the mental dialogue of what you're trying to convey to the girl, the general disappointment in her and yourself, but the words never make it past your mouth. It's very loosely based on recent events, however I dont want anyone who reads this who knows what I'm talking about to take the story and concept as fact because it's not, it's just an extrapolation on something that could have happened. So that's my disclaimer... in any event listen to the song because it makes me really happy in the off chance that somebody does.
I think the part that makes me the happiest about the song is the fact that I can play the entire song live without any pre-recorded backings. I'm trying really hard to find venues to play, but so far have had no luck. I had two shows booked, but they both got canceled on me, so I'm trying really hard to get something here in Syracuse before the end of the semester, or something in Boston for when I get home. Boston would be awesome because I'd be able to invite all of my friends who I haven't seen in what seems like AGES to come watch, then we'd be able to have fun in Boston after.
I can't wait for Thanksgiving break either. I really want to have a whole day that I spend on the town seeing my favorite spots like we used to do back in highschool. I want to go in and see the garage in Harvard square, spend some time in Fannueil Hall, walk around Fenway, go to the garden... I really hope it snows, or is at least freezing cold, because thats the best time to be there in my eyes.
...This has been nice. I'm glad I've gotten the chance to reflect and project (cuz I can see the future). I want to do this more often. Again. But unfortunately I'm swamped with work at the moment, so I kinda have to go back and stop negating my responsibilities. So thanks for reading! It's good to be back on here.
A. The new AVA cd is out and has gotten me all nostalgic and thinking (If you dont know what ava is, just stop reading).
B. New stuff going on with females
C. Lots of school and ROTC work and stress and responsibilities as of late that have me mucho stressed out.
D. My new leaf that I've turned in a revival of a quest to be more "hip" for some reason
E. My rekindled friendship with Pat Smith and our frequent late night conversations
F. The fact that senior year is almost half way over and I'm going to be going through probably the biggest transition in my life to this point.
G. AVA is blogging and I've been reading them and have felt the need to express my thoughts over the interweb
H. I've been going crazy writing and recording lots of music and have actually found my sound and am desperately trying to find venues to play shows.
So those are the biggest reasons. I don't know what's been with me and doing the logical A, B, C... lists as of late, but they've come out a lot lately. So those more or less justify my (temporary?) revival of the LJ. A lot has happened since January, when I last posted (or at least made a post that YOU could see). Its kinda funny that the 1st things that come to mind are the ROTC examples, so I guess I'll start there:
This summer I got to be a CTA for Field Training. As my new Idol Capt. Jarrod Suire would say "its a strange kind of fun" and it really was. I learned quite a bit about myself and other people and made some life-long friends in the process that I can't wait to bump into on active duty. I really learned how to refine my personality and developed some really good officer traits that I've taken to heart since returning. But the most important thing that I did there came to me on the last day there when a cadet came up to me, shook my hand and said "thank you Sir, you changed my life". That one moment made it all worth while and almost made me cry right in front of the 360 cadets out on the parade field who I had been more or less yelling at for the past 28 days.
But I didn't come on here to talk more about CTA duty. I've done that enough, and my pictures and videos that I took there will keep me reminded of it for years to come. I'm glad to say that this entry isn't going to be filled with complaining and whining like most of my entries. Despite some crazy shit going on that normally would cause me to spiral out of control and want to give up (which I'm not going to lie, I've had sentiments of just letting shit blow over and hiding until it does), I'm pressing on quite well. I really think the fact that the glimmer of light that is graduation and therefore the end of my engineering career is within sight is giving me promise and will that I've never had before. Knowing that it'll all be over with soon and having that concrete closure is keeping me focused, rather than giving me the old senioritis bug that I would have thought I'd catch. And the fact that its also far enough away so that I don't have to think about leaving my friends is keeping me going as well. So I'm at a good point of balance. The big pivotal moment for me was on Friday when I registered for classes. It didn't really sink in until this weekend that that was the last time that I'll have to do that.
I also haven't been in the state of Massachusetts since 16 July, which is really strange to think about.
Another reason I think I'm writing this is the Christmas lights in my room. They're all the light I turn on sometimes and it just makes me feel really warm and happy inside. Last week it snowed too which is also happy. The sun has also been out lately, so it's not the depressing, constantly gray Syracuse that I've come to know and loathe over the past few years. I just hope it stays like this. Once again, I guess its some more of that balance between the crappy weather, the snow, and the sun thats making it okay.
Sunday I wrote one of the most beautiful songs I've ever written before. If you want to check it out, its on my myspace ( http://www.myspace.com/karljohnson ) and its called "Alarmed!". It's the first time I've ever conceptualized, wrote, recorded, and finalized a song all in one sitting. It's pretty simple because it's just one guitar track and one vocal track. Basically for a while I've wanted to do a song that's just me layering guitar tracks over each other using my delay pedal, and then just singing over it. The way this came out was completely unlike how I had envisioned it, however I'm really pleased with the results. The guitar just slowly evolves. It starts with just one note repeating itself (just so that I can set the temop), then I build the melody that stays throughout the song, and I sing 2 verses as I just slightly evolve the whole tune. You'll have to hear it for yourself, and actually please listen to it. After you listen to it, read what its about (below) and then listen again.
Basically what the song's about is being asleep and being woken up by the fire alarm, and being startled even though you know it's just a drill, so you stumble out of the building in your pajamas only to find that it's snowing, and so you go stand close to your friends but then see a girl who you haven't taken the chance to tell how you feel about her, and she comes out late with a boy around her arms and you realize that they were sleeping together and that you've lost your chance. The song is more or less the mental dialogue of what you're trying to convey to the girl, the general disappointment in her and yourself, but the words never make it past your mouth. It's very loosely based on recent events, however I dont want anyone who reads this who knows what I'm talking about to take the story and concept as fact because it's not, it's just an extrapolation on something that could have happened. So that's my disclaimer... in any event listen to the song because it makes me really happy in the off chance that somebody does.
I think the part that makes me the happiest about the song is the fact that I can play the entire song live without any pre-recorded backings. I'm trying really hard to find venues to play, but so far have had no luck. I had two shows booked, but they both got canceled on me, so I'm trying really hard to get something here in Syracuse before the end of the semester, or something in Boston for when I get home. Boston would be awesome because I'd be able to invite all of my friends who I haven't seen in what seems like AGES to come watch, then we'd be able to have fun in Boston after.
I can't wait for Thanksgiving break either. I really want to have a whole day that I spend on the town seeing my favorite spots like we used to do back in highschool. I want to go in and see the garage in Harvard square, spend some time in Fannueil Hall, walk around Fenway, go to the garden... I really hope it snows, or is at least freezing cold, because thats the best time to be there in my eyes.
...This has been nice. I'm glad I've gotten the chance to reflect and project (cuz I can see the future). I want to do this more often. Again. But unfortunately I'm swamped with work at the moment, so I kinda have to go back and stop negating my responsibilities. So thanks for reading! It's good to be back on here.